friends with benefits

[statsgirl]

Hi Exotic,

 

It's been a while! I am glad to see you are doing better and getting along. I am as well. My FWB is still 6 hours away recovering from his surgery at his girlfriends house. He is coming back soon bc disability is making him go broke.

 

I am afraid that i am dealing now with repercussions of strain and struggle i went through with him before i finally started to let him, and all of it, go. We "snarled" at each other at work. Others noticed, and I didn't realize, that they took sides. There are some that won't look me in the face because he convinced them of his version of some story. Noone at work knew about us being together. He lied to me over and over about his friendship with 2 women at work. To my face, he talked about them behind their back. After a while, i found out that he hung out with them outside of work often.

 

After his accident, they would talk about him so nicely, and i would jab him by saying that they didn't know him as well as i did. I have know him for 6 years. They know him for 6 months. Because i didn't know that he befriended them so closely, they felt like i was talking about their good friend behind his back, and they went and told him what i said. They didn't know that the things i told them were things that i said to his face, or things that he and i argued about. I also never told them that the reason i told them things about him was to try to get them to see red flags without telling them outright that he was talking about them behind their back while he was acting like their new best chum at the same time. I know i should not have said anything, but this was right after he told me that he wanted to be with me, but wanted his "friend" who was a nobody to come see him. Now, he is at this "friends" house getting better when he is amidst all of his family and friends. This new "friend" who nobody has only known him for 4 months, but he chooses to be with her at a time like this. Could you understand why i was so angry and lashing out at him to these women.

 

I have now created a bad situation for myself bc one is the secretary of the head manager, and the other one is department head. I don't care what they think about me bc i know the truth about him and that is all i need. I am worried of the image they draw of me to the head manager.

 

Getting over him is getting easier every day. Getting myself away from the troubles caused by being with him, is turning out to be a big dilemma. Any advice would be great!!!

 

statsgirl

[lovelylady]

Dear Exotic -

 

I just wanted to respond to your sweet post - I'm really glad if what I wrote helped you in any way. I want YOU to know that the post you wrote thanking me, gave me strength and helped me feel more confident in my conviction about my situation. How awesome it is when one woman says to another that she is strong - it really does make a difference. And so I'm giving it right back - you too are a pillar of strength - you wouldn't have been able to go through as much turmoil and pain as you have, if you weren't.

 

And can I just say, because it makes feel SO GOOD - that my FWB who I've been avoiding like the plague - has now been contacting me constantly. I mean calling every day as opposed to the weekly 8 me/2 him ratio we had going (for a LONG time) I just don't call him. AND IT FEELS GREAT. And I'm not changing my tune. If he wants to go to ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLE LENGTHS - maybe, just MAYBE I will consider (maybe) but short of the incredible, I'm done. I KNOW I can do better. And there's no way that I'll sleep with him (though I know he's dying for me to) UNLESS he goes to those unbelievable lengths first - because I know I'm worth it. Damnit, girls like me (and I believe like you as well) don't come around more than once in a lifetime - I do know it - and now I'm going to live what I know. I'm perfectly happy being friends with him because I do care for him, but as to anything else, the more I've let the "this guy is NOT meeting my needs" attitude sink into my person, the more resolve I feel in keeping him at a fierce distance romantically.

 

You can do better, you are better, you're beautiful and awesome. Screw that guy who doesn't know what he's losing (and he really IS losing, whether or not he knows it.) Whoever ends up with your sweet loving will be a lucky, grateful and in-awe man - and he'll let you know that he is. And that's the way it should be.

 

And can I just say - I've been doing a little something over the last few weeks. I've been buying lingerie - never been that into lingerie - but I've been buying a ton of it. And it's not with the intention of sleeping with anyone else - it's to lavish my body and remind me that it is just as beautiful as my heart and must be protected and adored - if not by anyone else, at least by me. :-)

 

So now when I find the guy that's worthy of my attention - not only will he get a great girl, he'll get a great girl with great lingerie.

 

loving energy and strength aimed at you angel...

[exotic_angel]

STATS

 

That’s a whole lot you have to deal with, and I understand your reaction came out of hurt and disappointment. I think the best thing to do if you want to stay and be happy in that job is to confront the 2 women 1 on 1 and don’t “bare your soul” but explain to them “calmly” a brief honest overview of the person he is and explain the basic predominant logistics of your relationship. I always believed that I could talk my way out of anything and I believe that you can do. Do it with class and the undeniable strength that you have earned.

And I know you’re still not quite over him, I’m still not quite over my FWB, but I’m learning too, check out these points..

 

After breaking up with someone you feel a sense of loss, and you ache for the love you were getting that's now gone. All these feelings have to work themselves out of your system. It's a process you must go through, similar to grieving or getting over an addiction, and some researchers say that it can take up to half as long as the relationship lasted.

However, just as there are ways to make the "In Love" feeling happen there are ways to encourage the "Out Of Love" feeling as well. Here are some proven guidelines for helping you regain a normal emotional state in the shortest period of time:

1. Make a clean break

Quit seeing your ex, totally. You've become addicted to their love, and the only way to recover is cold turkey. If you keep seeing him or her, it's like a drug addict begging for "just one more" hit. Don't call. Don't "just be friends." Because each time you get close enough to your ex to get the good parts of what you once had, you'll get the bad parts too.

2. Write a last love letter

There are always so many things you still want to say to your ex. Write a letter that says them all and then don't send it. Put it away. Just writing it will make you feel better. You'll be relieved of carrying around the thoughts in your mind and free yourself for new and better things.

3. Make a "hate list"

When you break up, you often forget the bad times and only yearn for the good ones. Before you forget, write down every nasty mean thing your ex ever did so that you can look at the list whenever you start to feel nostalgic for your old romance. (Don't send this, either...)

4. Use "thought-stopping" to combat sad thoughts

If you think, "If only I could get (him or her) back, everything would be all right." Or, "I just wish I could see (him or her) one more time." These thoughts will only frustrate you and make you sad. Stop the unhappy thoughts by keeping a rubber band around your wrist. When you have the obsessive thoughts about your ex, snap the rubber band as soon as the thought starts to happen. That way you'll begin to associate the sad thoughts with the aversion therapy you're using. After a while, the thoughts will stop by themselves as soon as they start.

 

5. Avoid sad associations

Don't listen to sad songs on the radio. Skip the stations that remind you of your ex. Listen to music without words for a while. Don't go to the places you went with your ex. Put away all the pictures and momentos that remind you of your ex. Put away the gifts you got and even rearrange your furniture or stay with a friend for awhile if there are too many sad memories at home. Stay away from friends of your ex and avoid seeking gossip about your ex. Whatever you hear, you won't feel any better.

 

I particularly love the HATE LIST.

And stats no that it’s not too late to pursue a degree or a new major, choose a new career path..

I sincerely believe in you, and I know you’re going to get through this.

[exotic_angel]

LOVELYLADY

You’re inspiring and that reply meant so much.

I’m so happy for you girl, if it wasn’t for this situation, if it wasn’t for FWBs then we would have never earned such strength and understanding. It’s been painful and cinfusing but to me it’s one of the most profound, most everlasting lessons I’ve ever learnt.

Great job on buying lingerie, I used to buy them just for him, but now I wear them to go to bed “alone” I light candles and wear whatever I want to wear because it makes me feel good.

Self love is liberating and God is preparing our hearts and souls (and bodies) for something truly magical..

It’s truly wonderful to be sharing this with you lovely..

Have a superlicious week..

[statsgirl]

Exotic,

 

you are right, and i have done some of those things. The last time i was with my ex was late sep. I visited friends and family that were 2 hours drive away for several weekends in a row, I have focused on learning more about the field in which i got a new job title, and quit talking to anyone about him altogether finally when i realized that talking to these women was about him was more for my benefit than for theirs.

He will be coming back soon, but i am ready for whatever he throws my way now. It took all so long for the feelings to quit feeling fresh. I am so grateful that the emotions have finally diminished. I am feeling strong and finding solace in being with myself. I miss him sometimes, but deal with those feelings. I know that it is ok to miss him even though i know i will never be with him again. I am ready for him to treat badly when he returns, just like he did before he left. The difference now is, i will not engage with him on any level. I will walk away and stay focused on my work, and not talk to anyone about him. I will keep everything strictly profressional!!!

 

i am excited that the worst pain is over. I am a little afraid that i won't find love again for a very long time. One day at a time is all i have. When the day comes that i meet a great man, i will know it. He will not be just anyone, he will be nothing like my FWB, he will the ONE. I will settle for nothing less again. As much hell as went through in this relationship, I am so grateful to come out of it with everything i have learned. My life will definitely be better than ever now.

 

Thanks for your encouragement!!!

statsgirl.

[Magus]

exotic_angel, what kind of "self-love" are you reffering to?

[exotic_angel]

by self love i mean to totally or mostly appreciate and embrace everything that you are.

and to me it is also a continued effort to enhance all that you have been given.

[exotic_angel]

STATSGIRL

you're doing great, just keep focussed on your goal and try that rubber band around the wrist thing, it really works for me.. lol

i'll tell u.. it's not easy to let go of a relationship that lasted so long and meant to much but we can get through this..

take all this negative energy and aim it towards something positive.. and you will find love again, you will have a fabulous career. jus use this time to focus on you and work on ur mind and body and future..

and keep smiling..

a up beat confident nature will make him squirm.. he wants u to be sad .. be classy and desireable.. he is such a looser ..

 

always

ANGEL

[exotic_angel]

i can't believe this!

well actually i'm no suprised but i'm really disturbed..

my FWB has been spreating all sorts of untrue rumors about me to his mother, to our "friends" and to people that we both know wel..

it seems like they all think the same low way huh statsgirl..

dam this only makes me "hate" him more.. it may seem negative, but it's a blessing... somehow..

[Magus]

Of course he's talkin trash about you behind your back.

If he's gonna use you for "lip service" why wouldn't he sink a little lower?

You gonna call him on his "indescretion"? Confront him in front of your buddies? Make him feel like the insect he is?

 

I hope so. (Tell us all the juicy details too)

 

and by the way I was being a pervert when I said; "what kind of "self-love" are you reffering to?" I was trying to lighten the mood a lil

[exotic_angel]

Magus

You little freak..lol I love your input..

I thought about confronting him in front of our “budies” but then I look at them and I look at him and think “god they are all such losers” I mean they drink and smoke and get high almost everyday. They’re all ambitionless and I don’t even care to associate with them.

Last night when I was driving home from a girl’s night out I saw him and one of his loser friends staggering down the street. I vaguely waved at him and he just shock his head.

But like I said before it’s all helping me to “hate” him more.

I can do without him and all those other losers…

There’s got to be more to life and better things that this.

I want someone who’s funny and ambitious and smart yet loving, someone I can be totally real with, no lies, no suspicions just a best friend, I can tell everything to. He could never meet my needs, he’s selfish and shallow.

So what’s up with you????

How’s the girl???????

hhhhhmmmm

[statsgirl]

Exotic,

 

ur right. My ex talked trash about me to my coworkers. They talk about me behind my back and they are rude to my face. They look down at me with disdain and i don't what he told them. I told them some things about him based on my encounters with him bc i was trying to raise some red flags bc they think he is great but he talked lots of trash about them to me behind their back. He also told me that one of the women talked about how much she hates another co-worker, but yet, she is so sweet to his face. The bottom line is that they are all backstabbing each other, but feeling good about themselves bc they think so little of me based on what my FWB told them. I know he did it bc he knew that i knew he was being two-faced to them, and wanted to discredit anything i might have to say about him to them.

 

It's all ok though, bc i am comfortable with how ridiculous all of this is. I am the only one who knows the truth about all of this and all of them. It is 7th grade Bull***t! They think they have something on me, but i will bide my time, and when the time is right, in one way or another, I will let them all have it.

 

For instance, when the one girl is on her pedestal, I will let her know how my FWB told me that she told him that she hated a co-worker that she acts like she adores. I know he told me the truth bc i hear her in a low scouring voice saying horrible things about the guy she's two-facing. So if they ever try to get in my face about anything, i can just say "you all think you are the best of friends, but you are all backstabbing each other like 7th graders. My FWB told me how you hate this other coworker, but you kiss his ass everyday, and my FWB said you dress like a whore, have buck teeth and look like so-and-so's wife whom everyone calls 'the cow'. All of you feel good about yourselves now bc you think you have a common enemy in me, and that makes you feel like you belong, and makes you feel better about yourselves. I am the one who knows the truth about all of you. Hold on to the lies he told you. In the end, you all have a lot of maturing to do. Instead of dogging me everyday, look at each other and yourselves".

 

He is angry at me bc i told his new gf who i was when she answered his phone when he didn't come back from vacation bc he was in the hospital, and he never told her about me. He is angry bc one of the women at work went running to him to tell him things i said about him(which were true). She dished info from me so she could go running back to him. What she didn't know was that i told him i was gonna tell her those things bc he was acting like her friend, but talking behind her back. The whole thing is just crazy. I keep my mouth shut, do my job and go home. I talk to no one now. The day will come when they realize that i am quiet bc i laugh at them, not bc i feel like they have something on me. I will enjoy that day when it comes. Until then i will be silent.

 

Exotic, all you can do is hold on to the truth. If you have done nothing wrong, and have nothing to be ashamed of, then find peace with it. It will be ok. I was close to the mom of my FWB too. After he told her lots of lies about me, she won't talk to me anymore. The whole thing is sad, it makes me feel bad, but it's over. Don't act desperately. Don't do anything. Eventually, the drama subsides, and you are more connected with yourself and you realize that you don't need these people. You are enough for you.

 

I have been silent for quite some time now. I have no one to talk to bc my FWB was my best friend, and he betrayed me. I never told my friends and family about him bc they are too judgemental about my life. All i have had for the last few months is me. When that is all you have, you realize just how much you like yourself, or not, and you learn about why you stayed so connected to someone who was no good for you. I was afraid of being alone for a long time. That is why i held on. I really did love him. I cried just this morning bc i still miss him so much, but I didn't cry bc i wish i had him back. I accept that i miss him and that it is over and why it is over. I accept all the things that have come out of it, like the silly work situation. I will get over it, and my life will great. I am better off disconnecting for a while. I listen to my heart now instead of thinking too much and staying outside of myself looking in.

 

I know i said a lot. I hoe you find the comfort in yourself. If there is drama, don 't engage in it bc you only perpetuate it. Spending time with you, if you let yourself do it, is what will get you out of all of this, let you move on to what you deserve and what you really do want.

 

statsgirl.

[exotic_angel]

STATSGIRL

 

I can totally relate to the way you feel and your situation is so much tougher to deal with. I mean you have to see these people all the time, whereas, I don’t.

Thank you for the comfort and support that you have shared with me.

I feel so much like you in so many ways and I’m realizing more and more that this lesson is only given to a chosen few, it’s painful and confusing. But it gives you the opportunity to thoroughly analyze and understand yourself. Your heart mind and body..

I know the feisty women in you is dying to give all these losers a piece of your mind and if you do that would feel really liberating. But Stats in the mean time, I urge you to start paving your way to an amazing future in a field in which you can be creative and where all your talents can fully florish. It feels good to be an independent women and become more than anyone had ever expected.

I’m currently a marketing major and I’m pursing events management on the side. I love my job, it’s exciting and dynamic. And whenever I feel defeated or low I take all that negative energy and aim it towards something positive.

Stats you’re smart and you can do so much better, I believe in you. Move on and move forward, you have the power to be a humble revolutionist who can change the world and be remembered and adored for many years to come.

Build an amazing future hun and live to see the day when that loser and all his other “companions” realize how wasted their whole life have been.

And at the end of it all he'll remember you and sink lonelyily beneath a endlessly towering wave of regret.

God bless statsgirl.

[nextel]

FWB= Friends with benefits. This a situation were 2 people are good friends, they trust each other on a higher level than they would with others and someone in that friendship gets assistance when they need it. FWB are situations were one helps the other monetarily, or bought a car for the other: or is able to do what it takes to ensure that the friendship remains intact. FWB's can end up dating if they are both single because this is the stage they use to get to know each other fairly. If married: he is really only your sugar daddy.

 

FB= f'ing Buddy. This is were people get together for the purpose of having sex. No strings attached. No predetermined time to meet up again. No assistance of any nature is given. It is a sexual thing and the 2 will never get together.

[exotic_angel]

what a wonderful weekend, what a perfect life..

GOD! i miss him, we passed each other on the road today, he drove past me and i stod frozen behind the wheels of my silver lexus..

another party at the yatch club.. alone..

is there really a "special someone" out there for all us? or is that just another fairy tale dream created only for a random few...

[Magus]

Is there really a "special someone" out there for all of us? or is that just another fairy tale dream

Its a story perpetuated by the lonely/desperate to justify settling for someone other than who they really want.

 

Thing is, if you settle, at least your not alone. You'll have someone to talk to, have sex with, and hangout with. Of course you'll still have to have some BARE minimum standards by which someone will have to measure up to.

Some good standards I've adopted are;

1- Pulse. They have to be alive if your to interact with them.

2- Gender. They should be of the opposite gender. I REALLY like the way most women look. The female body is TRUELY a work of art.

3- Interest. They should be interesting enough for you to stay awake while they are talking to you. The best way to achieve this is to meet the person at your favorite hang-out. Other than that, friends are a good source of meeting other people. Can we say "Blind date"?

[exotic_angel]

Love is the most mysterious emotion in life, yet it is the most readily recognized. Love seems inaccessible, yet it is the most common of human experiences. So many songs and poems are based on love, people analyze it endlessly. Everyone is looking for love, whatever it is, and everyone is looking for their perfect partner, their soul mate. But what does the concept "soul mate" really mean? Does it mean that there is one and only one person for each of us?

Could it be that two partners may have known each other before, probably many times before and now they’re back together because of some "unfinished business." One or both owes a "karmic debt." And how convenient! Sexual attraction is probably the best way to induce us to get involved in repayment of karmic debts. Sex is the lure, the bait, that induces us to feel and not to think. As a result, intense, but not always positive turbulent, even obsessive relationships occurs. We move through them, and sometimes we grow.

Or are tow people put together simply as a Task Companion, a project-oriented partner. Maybe a task outside the intimacy of the love relationship or that each seeks to help the other. Task Companions have positive karmic ties and united in a love relationship, yet they tend to feel like a companion and best friends. It probably isn’t love, but it usually provides a stable, healthy environment, yet when the task is complete, you feel emptiness all over again.

But then there is the most sought-after type of soul mate, your Twin Flame or the person with whom you most perfectly belong in this lifetime. Your Twin Flame is someone with whom you have strong, extremely positive karmic links. If you are lucky enough to meet your Twin Flame, the pull to unite in an intimate love relationship will be extremely powerful. It may be so powerful that it will transcend social barriers of age, race, or religion. This is the most beautiful, most compelling love of all.

With all the risks and dangers involved in love, everyone still wants it. Everyone is looking for the perfect love, because love integrates us. All our attention focuses on the love. The result is a deep experience of unity, of wholeness that we long for. Love is a blissful, magical feeling. It is a feeling of being totally absorbed, of being totally focused, of being totally present. The feeling of being totally focused in love is liberating. It frees you from inner conflicts and fears, it frees you from tensions, it frees you from hesitation, it frees you from doubt... at least temporarily.

Therein lies the problem. That overpowering magical feeling, that elation, does not last. What most people feel when they believe they are "in love" is attraction. True, that intense attraction gives you a sense of integration, but the integration is illusory. You feel integrated only as long as the object of the attraction is available to you and under your control. Basically, love that is caused by something or someone outside of you will always be complicated by issues of availability and control. That makes it illusory and temporary, even when the object of the attraction is your Twin Flame. Lasting love, true love is an outward expression of your existing integration within. So, in a love relationship, each must love the other with the intention to develop and reinforce his or her own inner integration. If both partners love this way, then the love between them becomes an ongoing, luminous, spiritual experience.

In a love relationship, two individuals are merging at a very deep level. By the very intense nature of this union, we experience extremes. We definitely experience extremes of closeness, but we also may experience feelings of distance and pain. In a love relationship, two separate beings are attempting to merge in terms of personality, personal habits, backgrounds, likes and dislikes everything. The challenges of merging are further complicated by the romantic notions with which we are bombarded.

Our culture tells us that we should long for the perfect other, but never defines the perfect other. And we are left to wonder is the perfect other a mirror or a complement? Well, it is not easy to find a clone of yourself. You may find someone similar, but there is only one unique, special you who feels, thinks, needs, and acts exactly as you do. So, is it realistic to expect the significant other in your life, the beloved, to know exactly what you want, exactly when you want it, and exactly how much you want of whatever it is that you want? It is not only unrealistic, it is impossible even for a Twin Flame. Many people, sensing this, seek their opposites to complete them and then find that the differences keep them from merging. This too is an impossible predicament, an unrealistic burden for the concept of love.

Love, real love, begins within you. The love you seek already exists in you, in your spirit. You must find within yourself the sense of integration and wholeness that you are seeking. You must find it at your own center, rather than depend on someone else to provide it for you. No one can bring love to you from the outside.

It feels wonderful. Indeed, it is so wonderful that you may come to depend on that love. You may come to need and rely on the love of the other to make you feel whole, to make you feel complete, to make you feel integrated. It is a perfect situation. . .as long as it lasts. And therein lies the problem! When you come to depend on that love to give you those wonderful feelings, you will not want to lose it. You will begin to fear losing that love so much that you may become manipulative and controlling in order to hold onto it. Then the love stops being love and turns into fear; whatever mask it may wear, it is fear.

The best way, the only way to function in a loving relationship without becoming dependant on it, is to accept yourself and to accept the person you love. When conflict arises, do not blame the other person, your beloved, and do not blame yourself. Understand that the intimate relationship is invariably designed to teach you everything about yourself. Through the intimacy of a deep love relationship, you will learn things about yourself that nobody else could show you.

No one can cause you problems or give you solutions. It is all within you, already there, and the presence of another just stimulates it. Each of us must begin to take responsibility for who and what we are. We must accept ourselves exactly as we are in a compassionate, detached manner. No guilt, no self-rejection. See the divinity within yourself and let all the other "stuff" come to the surface without judging yourself for it, without labeling yourself with it. Physical beauty, intelligence, positive and negative personality traits are merely overlays, traps of the ego. They are not the real you.

Similarly, the circumstances and challenges in your life are not the real you. To deal effectively with these external circumstances, we must be detached from them. Observe what is in your life without judging, without being for it or against it. Just let it be. Detach yourself from it and just be with it. The moment you are for it, the effort to hold onto it begins; the moment you are against it, the effort to run away from it begins. And both struggles take you out of the present moment and into the future, into worrying about the future. This divides you within yourself; this divides you against yourself. When you are detached from the "objects" in your life, you can take responsibility for it. You can act upon it, or you can just let it go. You can even truly enjoy it. You can live undivided—in the present moment.

In a loving relationship, each partner must live undivided in the present moment, not judging, not possessing, not controlling. Each partner must permit and experience joyous, boundless, unconditional love to flow from the heart and embrace the beloved. Then your intimate love relationship reinforces and develops your own inner integration. Then your intimate love relationship becomes a true expression of your own inner integration. And as your partner is doing the same thing, you grow side by side, together. The love between the two of you becomes an ongoing experience, beautifully spiritual experience.

[younged78]

That was amazing. What you have said is something I aspire to have - to feel love and not be dependant on other/external forces to feel that love. What a wonderful gift you have to so effortlessly say this all. Unless off course u've extracted it from a book - and in that case, i'd love to know where you got that from!

[exotic_angel]

i'm glad my post could help you somehow..

it's my humble understanding of what a soulmate is and is supposed to be..

[Magus]

Love is a blissful, magical feeling. It is a feeling of being totally absorbed, of being totally focused, of being totally present. The feeling of being totally focused in love is liberating. It frees you from inner conflicts and fears, it frees you from tensions, it frees you from hesitation, it frees you from doubt... at least temporarily.

Sounds like a GOOD orgasm

 

 

You must find it at your own center, rather than depend on someone else to provide it for you. No one can bring love to you from the outside.

Sounds like good advice.

 

I'm beginning to think your either a libra (horoscope), or a pisces?

 

In a loving relationship, each partner must live undivided in the present moment, not judging, not possessing, not controlling. Each partner must permit and experience joyous, boundless, unconditional love to flow from the heart and embrace the beloved. Then your intimate love relationship reinforces and develops your own inner integration. Then your intimate love relationship becomes a true expression of your own inner integration. And as your partner is doing the same thing, you grow side by side, together. The love between the two of you becomes an ongoing experience, beautifully spiritual experience.

Even if you use a condom?

[exotic_angel]

nope i'm a sagitatrius ...

dec 20th to be exact..

which r u hhmmm?????

[Magus]

I'm a Libra. Ya know, my ex (ex gf that is) is an archer. She and I are still real good friends.

What was your ex-FWB?

[exotic_angel]

he was the water bearer.. his birthday is sun 13th feb actually.. and i'm absoloutely, positively not going to call or seee him and that feels liberating.. lol

 

so really now what's the goods with you and that girl????

[statsgirl]

Exotic,

 

I was away at a training seminar all week for my job. I met many men that affirmed for me that there are very good men out there, even if i haven't encountered any around me. They are loving and devoted to their wives and families. They are fair to others and treat others with well. It was refreshing and reinforcing of the reasons why this FWB is no longer my friend.

 

The thing is, i still miss him so much, that i still cry. It is good that it is over bc he betrayed me. I just miss the good things and the good times, and i miss my best friend that i could call and talk to about anything. So, i feel more angry bc he took that all away when he stabbed me in the back the way he did.

 

While i am taking the time to get over him, I am focused on taking care of me and finding more joy within myself. I am gong to be going back to school for a second bachelor's degree in engineering. My job will reimburse my tuition, and I will be more valuable to them, and myself of course. I will stay busy while fulfilling another goal, and continue to work on moving on. I just thought that once you realize it is over, and embrace the idea of moving on, you start to get over it. I am doing those things, but in the end, i miss my best friend. I might always miss the things about him that made him my best friend. I don't want to be with him again bc of everything that has gone down over time, but I think i have to get used to the fact that i will miss him bc i genuinely loved him for a long a time. Oh well, i guess.

 

thanks for being there...just needed to vent.

stats.

[exotic_angel]

i always appreciate your venting, not only because i'm happy to be there but because it helps me realize that i'm not alone.. i understand and have felt the way u feel..

i miss my FWB as well and yes it's kind of hard to jus forget the good times, cause sometimes the slightest insignifficant colour, word or smell can trigger once beautiful memories..

thanks for keeping in touch though and props to you, that second bachelors is a wonderful idea and i'm glad that this situation haven't made you bitter

you have florished and grown so much and even though it was painful and it's over i truly hope you have no regrets..