Author exotic_angel Posted February 14, 2005 Author Share Posted February 14, 2005 happy V*day everybody!!! may you all have a SUPERLICIOUS week ahead.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted February 15, 2005 Author Share Posted February 15, 2005 I accept that it’s over and I’m truly glad that finally this constant cycle of highs and lows has ended. But the past just keeps haunting me and I can’t quite seem to let it go. I think of all that I had given, all that I had done. The many night I waited only for him, I gave up every part of me and I pleased him to the finest, yet it was never enough. And I can live with the fact that I was never enough for him, but I can’t seem to escape this crumb of regret; or is it regret? I’m thankful for the wisdom I have gained from all of this and if it wasn’t for this experience then I guess I wouldn’t quite know how to kiss or give proper head. And even thought we never quite went “all the way” I know I’ve still learnt a few “tricks” that I can’t wait to share with someone who truly deserve it. But that’s a whole other story. My problem is; how do I get over the past. I feel used and somewhat regretful. Now he refers to me as “my brother’s girlfriend sister” (My FWB and I had known each other a long time before my sister and his brother got together, their relationship turned out beautifully BTW.) I remember when we were simply “friends” when it was still so wonderful, but we took a wrong turn somewhere… Sigh…. Any advice or insight???? Link to post Share on other sites
statsgirl Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Hi exotic, it's been a while!! How r u doing? Have you had any contact with your FWB? If so, was it intimate? Are you holding strong, or do you find yourself sinking into familiar territory? My FWB is back after being away for about 8 weeks. We didn't talk or even look at each other at work for over a week after he was back. He sent me an email after a week asking if i wanted to have sex. I read the email and felt a flush rush through me bc it has been so long since i have been provoked by him. The rush was sexual, but only lasted a few moments. I learned from that feeling that i still have feelings for him, but I have learned from being away from him for so long, that not delving back into things with him is for the best. I don't know how long it will take before i don't miss him anymore. I am taking my time to heal and move on. Being alone is OK bc i would rather be alone then back in the turmoil of that relationship. On the other hand, being alone all the time only takes you so far before you crave the closeness that you once had. It is hard, that's all. I replied to his email by saying that he has a girlfriend now, or did he forget? I see him staring at me at work sometimes when he thinks i am not looking. I don't know exactly what he is thinking, but i try not to engage him. It is sad, it still hurts, i am still angry. The good news is that i acknowledge these things and i am working through the anger. I am not as angry as i was 3 months ago. It is fading, but i still cry sometimes over the many hurtful and disrespectful things he did while i was holding on hoping that he would see the errors of his ways. I learned not to hold my breathe waiting for anyone to do that either. Talk to you soon stats... Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted March 7, 2005 Author Share Posted March 7, 2005 Hey Stats It’s good hearing from you after so long. I can understand your pain and you still feel it because this quandary had become your world for so long and now that it’s gone, there’s an empty place. A place that was once filled with fake, relinquish kind of lust. But it was filled nonetheless. You deserve so much more and I’m glad that you know that. I think that you shouldn’t have replied to his e-mail though and even though this is so incredibly difficult and painful, don’t let him know. He’ll use your vulnerability and secret hope to lure you back into that sore trap. Be happy and confident, even if you have to pretend when you’re around him. You will be over him eventually. I know everyone is probably telling you to keep busy, but believe me it really works. Get involved in something you’re passionate about, something that can boost your career. I’ve traded in my managerial position at that lucrative alcohol company to pursue event management full time and market 3 innovative yet risky lighting systems within the Caribbean. That’s a really bold, ground breaking step for me and it’s really helping me move forward in so many ways. I enjoy work and school, although I truthfully admit, I do get lonely sometimes and there’s a relentless secret force inside of me that yearns to be loved and needed, to know what a slow dance feels like and how it is to cuddle with someone wonderful, someone who’s crazy over me. Someone I can share my hopes and dreams and fears and secrets with. But really stats, isn’t that what we all deserve? And yes I miss him, or I miss the thought of him, or I just miss the simpler times. No one has ever hurt, betrayed and used me the way that he has. We don’t even talk anymore and he doesn’t want to make it better. I know a relationship with him could never be healthy and this can never work out. But sometimes I can’t help but be taken away by a single word or song or place that reminds me of him. It’s amazing and dismal how the mind always seems to remember, smiles and laughs and funny words and phrases, bright splotches of light that filled every lonely reminiscence. And sometimes it’s impossible to remember all the reason why we couldn’t make this work. But then I wake up and realize that reality can never be as sweet and pretty as all the movies and books make it seem. It’s been almost 2 months since the last time my FWB and I spoke and now if we should pass each other on the road or in the bank or at the clubs, I can feel him staring at me but it really doesn’t matter anymore. You see the trend.. all those loser guys think with the same empty head. Stats, truly in my heart, I believe that there is a special someone out there for all of us and he won’t complete you but he would complement and enhance everything that makes you so wonderful. It’s easy to get carried away in negative thoughts and energies that are so simply brought on by memories. But make your mind your friend and take control of your life once again. Hope to hear some good new from you real soon. Stats make him jealous, make him crave you, make him burn… That feels so good… Always ANGEL Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 HEY where is everyone.. i hope that u r all great.. updates will be nice thought... Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 STATSGIRL how have u been lately???? i truly hope that all is well.. hope to hear from u real soon Link to post Share on other sites
statsgirl Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Hi exotic, It 's been six months now, but bc i work with him, there is still a level of engagement between us. He emailed me a few times about wanting to see me, and emailed him back about how i wish that could happen, but too much damage has been done by him and it is too late. He started sending me erotic emails talking about the things we used to do together. It made me remember how it used to feel which made me feel more angry now bc i know he isn 't sincere. I finally asked him what is he offering me. He was finally honest and said that he wants to f**k once in a while, but is willing to give me everything that i want that goes with it. I told him to drop dead!! I am not gonna be a booty call that gets tossed aside. He' ll have sex with me and then go call his new gf when he is done with me. I told him that I hope he sees just how disgusting that is one day. I remembered then that he still had a key to my house. I told him to bring it to me at work bc he didn 't deserve t to have it. I told him I could find a stranger to have a one night stand with who would treat me with more respect. I feel disgusted with him. That was the final straw for me bc it superseded any doubts or feelings of missing him so much. Now that his true feelings are clear, I see him for the low life that he has become. I told him never to contact me again. The games are over and I will not respond to anything he has to say. For the first time since this all broke down so long ago, I finally feel like I don 't want him anymore. This is the feeling I was waiting for. I finally feel free to move on. He actually helped me get there treating me so badly. One thing I will not do is hook up with someone who cares about someone else and who is just using me. Since he made that clear, I see the whole truth now, and I know with all my heart now, that I don 't want him anymore!! Thank God!! How r u doing??? Do you have contact with FWB, or are you doing better with moving as well?? It was nice to hear from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted April 2, 2005 Author Share Posted April 2, 2005 stats i am so proud of u.. i admire ur strenght and i am truly happy that u have finally found ur way and u r free! wow .. u've learnt and grown alot and i can't wait to hear about all the good things that r gonna come ur way.. keep me posted.. i've been okay.. it's been almost 3 months for me.. and even though we see each other at parties and clubs, on the road and at the mall.. we don't talk at all.. i'm still a little hurt and still a little broken.. but i'm getting there.. u've been an inspiration for me and now i'm so hopeful because of u.. thank u and good luck always Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 hey every 1 HE'S BACK!!! Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 In reply to the orignal post: Damn you should write a book about this! Just keep his name out of it But seriously I feel your pain. I've been going through the same thing with my f buddy-the ups & downs-thinking that someday he'll come around-but I'm thinking if it hasn't already after a year, then it never will turn into a REAL relationship. Yah I had fun, but it's emotionally draining, and I'm ready to move on. Hopefully you too will find someone who truly loves you, not just for your sex. Good Luck girl Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 hey every 1 HE'S BACK!!! wait whatta mean he's back? I thought you gave up on him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 well the events of christmas brought us back together - he's changed ALOT however not enough. we talk and hang out sometimes.. i'm keepin my feelings under control - kind of. some days it's all good and other days all i want is him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 welcome back heartache! Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 welcome back heartache! Don't we know it....!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Oh yes! And she seems so happy that he is back!!!!!!!!! YIKES! Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 u guys r rite.. i can hear the warning bells.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 thank god for that! Get out now before you take 100 steps back! Link to post Share on other sites
LakeGirl Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 You need to meet other guys. Start chatting on the internet, you'd be surprised how easy it is to get to know someone. www.mate1.com is a great start Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Hi Statsgirl and Exotic Angel and the many other posters on here. This thread is why I registered here. I feel the things you are going through and if I can help you I will. I have my own story of having a FWB, but my story is from a Males point of view. It was the woman who wanted FWB, not me. I just went along with it because it was what she wanted, and hey men are supposed to be able to handle no strings sex aren't they? I've heard that FWB relationships stem from having met 'commitment phobe' people. I definately think that if you feel anyhting for that person there is no way you can't get hurt. FWB don't work. If you like them enough to have sex with them then you are bound to feel a bond that will hurt because you have only 'half a relationship' or less Well its still ongoing or is it I don't know but the worst pain starts from here. My post is on the FWB index its quite long but please have a look. Link to post Share on other sites
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