LDR and her guy friends

[Guest]

OK, I have been dating a girl for 6 months now. We dated for a couple months before she went back to college which is long distance for us. Now, I knew when we first started dating she mentioned she had a lot of guy friends and I have a few friends that are girls so I didn't think it would be much of a deal. I mean, as long as we have trust and dont do anything to hurt that trust.

 

So, shes back at college, I am done with college and a few years older. So, all the time now it seems she is doing this that and the other with people. Now, Ive sorted out her close guy friends.....one shes knowing for a long time and what not. But it seems the list is endless and keeps growing. I mean, you here cory, mike, dave,...over and over so you get a feel that these are people she hangs with. But then new ones pop up all the time and I realize these are guys that she is meeting and hanging out with. Then she tells me the other night that she went and had dinner with a friend, lets call him john. So, I say, John, whos he. "Oh, just a friend of mine,..... we dont get to talk much so I just like to catch up with people and see how they are. She describes herself as a people person and just likes keeping in touch. I ask her if there was anything between them at any point and she say yes. About a year ago at the start of last years college but it just didnt work out and she didn't like him that much. Then there is other guys that come up. New guys....people she just met and we will talk on the phone and say something about how funny this guy is and when I say ,.....hmm, this is a new guy....and she senses my concern..... She says, him and her just hit it off like old friends and hes just one of those people you talk with. . . not romantic like she assures. In this particular case I remember the day she told me about him she was overly excited about meeting him. She met him at some study abroad club and she meets a lot of out of country people there and get excited though about them,....this guy more so though.

 

So, Im just wondering.........should I be jealous?

[spacedyevest]

Honestly I goto college, and know of a few girls just like your girlfriend. They don't have a lot of girlfriends but find it more comfortable talking with guys. The best thing to do from my experience is to give her space. Don't be upset when asking questions about guys and where she's going and what she's doing. Show concern, but don't be too oppressive. It's out of you're control, and you just have to trust she's going to do the right thing . having a lot of guy friends is not that weird of a thing.

[guest]

So, I should bring it up though then. I think what bugs me is that she is aware that some of these guys have more then friend ideas about her but she sees nothing wrong with hanging out with them if she knows her intentions are good. I just know I wouldnt invest much time hanging out with a female if I knew she was interested in me\ for one....because I wouldn't want to put unnecessary doubt in the persons head I was with and for two.........I would not want to have my emotions played with. I mean, IF i were the other guys that wanted more from her and by agreeing to meet with them and have coffee, ect. it seems you are feeding false hopes. I know if I say this she will say she just didn't seem like its a big deal or she was doing anything wrong because she knows her intentions are friends based.

[guest]

Hmm, my post didnt work I guess. I was trying to say that I understand what you are saying. I just feel that she realizes that some of these guys have intentions that are more then friendly. She realizes this in some cases but says because she dont that she dont feel she is doing anything wrong. I just think if it were me I would not hang out with girls that I knew liked me for more because one.....I wouldnt want to put these doubts in the head of the girl i liked and two,......I dont want to give false hopes to people that have no chance if this indeed the case. Well, its a tuff line to walk between being honestly worried and not looking over protective or jealous all the time. I dont want to drive her away with this kind of behavior because I think I may have in some situations caused cheating by being so questioning. I mean, this is always the after thought. Well,.......anyone else have some advice.