Babolat Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I have none. My only going out friend just moved to Africa. Last night I went out with 2 guy friends out of which one tried to get me to go home with him Waaaaay OT here, can I guy be a "friend" if he tries to take you home? Will you continue to do friend things with him knowing he has other interestes in you? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Going against the grain here, but... I don't think you should approach. By all means flirt - eg, the asking for a light thing - but that's it. Men love the idea of being hit on by women, but the reality is that you might end up dating someone who is just flattered, doesn't quite know how to say 'no' if he's not that into you, doesn't want to say 'no' anyway because this hardly ever happens to him, and ends up halfheartedly dating you for a few weeks. If you're not totally ugly and at least 'average', as someone said most guys will at least play out the above scenario. Because men dont have to deal with that ALL the time right? God forbid a woman ever have to deal with the same worries we have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 This is rich. So my personality isn't sh*tty but I'm a stuck up snob who isn't actually all that attractive? If I had to guess I'd sat your mad because you can't get an attractive woman yourself. People are allowed to have standards buddy, and if you can't accept that, then that's your problem. And your whole argument that women like me mustn't be as attractive as we think we are falls flat because I've had more than one LTR with men I found very attractive. If I would have went out with the guy that I wasn't attracted to (beyond the physical) I never would have met my current partner or the partner before that. If I never had a boyfriend or a meaningful relationship than maybe your argument would hold up. BTW who has the personality issue when its you that is name calling and insulting others with a different view than you? You do realize that you just accused me of lobbing insults in an attempt to take the higher ground then lobbed insults of your own right? Obviously I struck a nerve & am closer to the truth than you can handle. Thank you for proving all of my points. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I get you. I have men tell me that they go and try to start a conversation with girls, and the girls are so stuck up and they do not have good enough social skills to just say " hey, I'm ____, how are you?" Like seriously. A lot of girls just stand there and either ignore the poor guy, or they will barely talk or just turn the other way. These are perfectly cute guys too..... It is such a horrible personality to have, when you cannot even smile and be friendly to some guy who approaches you. It is not hard to be friendly. Every time i've ended up with a number from a bar it was when they approached me & they were in their early to mid 30's. I'm 41. They usually want kids & marriage which just isn't going to happen with me so it goes nowhere. I don't bother approaching much in bars anyways because i usually only see women in the upper 40's or early 30's when out anyways. However the younger guys I work with do approach & man, it's brutal watching them try to talk to someone who rudely just acts like they aren't even there. Some chick who is your typical college student with a small frame but sporting the freshman 15 (for the 2nd consecutive yr) and who thinks she's all that & a bag of chips because every guy in the place is tripping over themselves to buy her a drink. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I seem to always be approached by men I have zero interest in. They are either a lot older or clearly out of shape or few that are attractive were not intelligent or we had few things in common. I used to stand there a waste a lot of time talking to these men but now I quickly say "Sorry I have to go" and move on. I wish it was more socially acceptable for women to approach. Even if I got a lot of rejections, at least I am not being hassled and I am getting exactly what I want. Well, every innovator broke the rules... but if you do, you better to be ready for all the rejections you're going to get from guys who are hung up on the rules. On the other side of the coin, if you're brave enough to break the no-approach rule and not give a crap whether others are hung up on it or not, you're going to have to do some breaking through to nab the keepers. I mean, hell, I wouldn't be intimidated if a woman as good-looking as you approached me... but whether we're each other's type is something else again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bigcitydreamer Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 You do realize that you just accused me of lobbing insults in an attempt to take the higher ground then lobbed insults of your own right? Obviously I struck a nerve & am closer to the truth than you can handle. Thank you for proving all of my points. Not sure how anything I said proves ANY of your points. And yeah it strikes a nerve when someone argues the way you do. Your dead set in your ways and you refuse to see any other perspective other than your own. Have you ever been hit on by someone you weren't attracted to? If so were you an ignorant a**hole who was rude to the poor woman that approached you? No of course not. You just nicely chatted and that was it. Being hit on by someone your not into does NOT make you a bad person. Discussing this happening once again does NOT make you shallow or stuck up. It happens to us all, some people more than others like all things in life! Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I don't think we can all get along, but I am sure we can all agree this is the most EPIC!!!! beer commercial ever. Most EPIC beer commercial EVER - YouTube If I was to brew beer, that is how I would do it. Run that stuff through as much WIN as possible. I mean, that wasn't just a Delorean, it was a Monster truck Delorean!! Every drop of that beer has seen all of The Great Bruce Lee's movies and has cascaded down a pyramid of 1st place trophies. Just amazing stuff, love it! Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 Not sure how anything I said proves ANY of your points. And yeah it strikes a nerve when someone argues the way you do. Your dead set in your ways and you refuse to see any other perspective other than your own. Have you ever been hit on by someone you weren't attracted to? If so were you an ignorant a**hole who was rude to the poor woman that approached you? No of course not. You just nicely chatted and that was it. Being hit on by someone your not into does NOT make you a bad person. Discussing this happening once again does NOT make you shallow or stuck up. It happens to us all, some people more than others like all things in life! Of course unattractive women hit on me. But I bang them also because honestly, I believe every woman should experience the awesomeness that is me. Twice. And once more in the morning. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 Waaaaay OT here, can I guy be a "friend" if he tries to take you home? Will you continue to do friend things with him knowing he has other interestes in you? I just saw this now. NO, I am pretty upset with him. I am disgusted to be honest. I also felt he was sabotaging me all night. I haven't spoken to him since and I don't intend to. Link to post Share on other sites
Highness Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 This happens to me too whenever I'm out, HOWEVER - I would never respect a man who didn't have the balls to approach me. I believe this to be the same thing of you. The problem is I spend so much of the night rejecting guys (and I am more blatant than you - sometimes I am downright mean because if I haven't given signals, its irritating that they would attempt an approach when I'm trying to be available to someone else). Unfortunately if a 'nice' guy is watching and waiting to approach and he sees me brush off enough guys, he will think I'm a bitch and lose interest. I sometimes end up sitting next to the guy I like and broaching convo myself - far from ideal but I usually start with, 'god this place is full of fugs', in a self deprecating manner. If they laugh, the it's on, and they do the work from there. Yes its not everyone's cup of tea but it has worked with medium success for me so far.... Just a thought, anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
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