I am not indifferent

[BetrayedH]

What online story? Also why did she tell you he was more dominant in bed?

 

This one... Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion

 

The dominant thing was an answer to a question I had asked in the very early days; I don't remember what I asked.

 

PS. My apologies to the mods if I am violating the TOS with my link. It's been posted here before without infraction but I feel hesitation regardless. Feel free to delete the post if you see fit.

[peruano99]

This one... Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion

 

The dominant thing was an answer to a question I had asked in the very early days; I don't remember what I asked.

 

PS. My apologies to the mods if I am violating the TOS with my link. It's been posted here before without infraction but I feel hesitation regardless. Feel free to delete the post if you see fit.

 

Why is she calling you a cuckold when you weren't aware of her affair. Erm didn't she get checked for STD's since they weren't using protection? what about pregnancy?

Edited November 9, 2013 by peruano99

[BetrayedH]

Why is she calling you a cuckold when you weren't aware of her affair.

 

The true definition of a cuckold is a man with an unfaithful wife. Regardless, it was the OM that directed her to the site. I think there must have been something exciting about disrespecting me that was a turn-on.

[peruano99]

The true definition of a cuckold is a man with an unfaithful wife. Regardless, it was the OM that directed her to the site. I think there must have been something exciting about disrespecting me that was a turn-on.

 

Did she have a STD or pregnancy check since she had unprotected sex?

 

 

Also she disrespected you by saying he was bigger and made him finish inside her.

[BetrayedH]

Why is she calling you a cuckold when you weren't aware of her affair. Erm didn't she get checked for STD's since they weren't using protection? what about pregnancy?

 

She said she had an STD test during the A and it came back ok (although I never saw the results). She was unable to get pregnant at that point and thought the risk of STDs was minimal since the OM, his wife, my wife, and myself were all clean. In my view, it's highly unlikely that she was his first affair and so I got lucky not to contract an STD.

[BetrayedH]

Also she disrespected you by saying he was bigger and made him finish inside her.

 

I am aware of exactly how offensive the post was. But the thing that upset me the most was that the kids were in the next room. If they had just opened their door, she couldn't have been fast enough to hide what was happening.

[peruano99]

I am aware of exactly how offensive the post was. But the thing that upset me the most was that the kids were in the next room. If they had just opened their door, she couldn't have been fast enough to hide what was happening.

 

Well I am glad you aren't with her anymore. She probably had other affairs and wasn't a good faithful woman. Did you find a good woman after you divorced? Did your ex wife ever said you were better than the other guy? Also mind blown how she didn't use protection on her first sex with the guy.

Edited November 9, 2013 by peruano99

[BetrayedH]

Well I am glad you aren't with her anymore. She probably had other affairs and wasn't a good faithful woman. Did you find a good woman after you divorced? Did your ex wife ever said you were better than the other guy? Also mind blown how she didn't use protection on her first sex with the guy.

 

I've had a steady girlfriend (sounds funny to say that since we're both in our forties) for a while now. We're doing well.

 

My wife maintained fond thoughts of her OM throughout our failed reconciliation. I didn't ask about who was better. I know that affair sex is typically off the charts; there are a lot of reasons for that and I no longer consider it a reflection of me at all. Mature love is different. I can assure you that my current GF has had no complaints. I also expect that relationship to evolve but I am making efforts to keep a spark there.

[peruano99]

I've had a steady girlfriend (sounds funny to say that since we're both in our forties) for a while now. We're doing well.

 

My wife maintained fond thoughts of her OM throughout our failed reconciliation. I didn't ask about who was better. I know that affair sex is typically off the charts; there are a lot of reasons for that and I no longer consider it a reflection of me at all. Mature love is different. I can assure you that my current GF has had no complaints. I also expect that relationship to evolve but I am making efforts to keep a spark there.

 

What do you mean she had thoughts of the other guy? how do you know?

[Steen719]

Hi BH/Kidd - I always call you Kidd in my mind when I read your stuff..LOL

Not sure how I missed this thread when you posted, but I'm not as active on here as I used to be, so I guess that must be it.

We are about in the same time frame for discovery. I think my divorce was much faster - more than 2 years now. You know how awful things were for me. Swear this is true - about 3 months or so ago, I realized I just didn't care what the XH said to me at any time anymore. Can you believe it? Still trying to make me think I need to go back to him! (and his family does this, too) Not ever, ever, ever doing that. My son finishes college in May 2014, I don't have to see XH, so it makes it that much easier for me. Anywaaaaay - so I just sort of think to myself one day, "who gives a crap what he is saying - blah blah blah" and I sort of achieved some level of indifference. It felt so good.

 

Guess what happened? I know that you know, I said I never wanted to be with anyone else. I thought I would make my life, go ahead with my financial disaster and come out on the other end alright. I came away from the mess, quit caring about him and have a new interest . Right when I was ready for it.

 

I can't explain it. Freedom from caring about him first and then what I needed. I have some things to be thankful for and I know you feel the same after what you went through. I think you will get there, particularly after the kids are older. The NO contact helped me.

 

You are a great guy; I have always admired your desire and willingness to help others through this crap and I guess half of us women probably have a crush on you ! I hope only good things come your way.

[BetrayedH]

What do you mean she had thoughts of the other guy? how do you know?

 

On the few occasions where I had something to say about the man, she got defensive. As well, it was clear that it was both an emotional affair and a PA for her. I knew she felt love for him.

[peruano99]

On the few occasions where I had something to say about the man, she got defensive. As well, it was clear that it was both an emotional affair and a PA for her. I knew she felt love for him.

 

Why would she protect him in front of you? If you two were in the process of reconciliation back then, she shouldn't have said that...was that when you were telling her you were going to aware his wife?

[BetrayedH]

Hi BH/Kidd - I always call you Kidd in my mind when I read your stuff..LOL

Not sure how I missed this thread when you posted, but I'm not as active on here as I used to be, so I guess that must be it.

We are about in the same time frame for discovery. I think my divorce was much faster - more than 2 years now. You know how awful things were for me. Swear this is true - about 3 months or so ago, I realized I just didn't care what the XH said to me at any time anymore. Can you believe it? Still trying to make me think I need to go back to him! (and his family does this, too) Not ever, ever, ever doing that. My son finishes college in May 2014, I don't have to see XH, so it makes it that much easier for me. Anywaaaaay - so I just sort of think to myself one day, "who gives a crap what he is saying - blah blah blah" and I sort of achieved some level of indifference. It felt so good.

 

Guess what happened? I know that you know, I said I never wanted to be with anyone else. I thought I would make my life, go ahead with my financial disaster and come out on the other end alright. I came away from the mess, quit caring about him and have a new interest . Right when I was ready for it.

 

I can't explain it. Freedom from caring about him first and then what I needed. I have some things to be thankful for and I know you feel the same after what you went through. I think you will get there, particularly after the kids are older. The NO contact helped me.

 

You are a great guy; I have always admired your desire and willingness to help others through this crap and I guess half of us women probably have a crush on you ! I hope only good things come your way.

 

Great to hear from you, Steen. And a new romantic interest to boot!

 

Hard to explain how jealous I am of those that can have NC. It's hard to explain but it hardly has anything to do with anything she did or does. I'd just like to move on with my life. But with the kids at different schools and both in extracurriculars, there's something that comes up pretty much daily. With my youngest being only 7, that's a lot of years of this. But it is what it is.

 

I'm just glad to hear you're well. But you better quit flirting with me; you know, boundaries and all that. You did put a smile on my face, though. I'm a sucker for external validation.

[BetrayedH]

Why would she protect him in front of you? If you two were in the process of reconciliation back then, she shouldn't have said that...was that when you were telling her you were going to aware his wife?

 

She never thought of him as a bad guy, just someone else unhappy in their marriage that she shouldn't have been with. And yes, that was before I exposed to OMW but I doubt her feelings ever changed.

 

I think you're trying to make sense of irrational thought patterns and behaviors.

[Steen719]

Great to hear from you, Steen. And a new romantic interest to boot!

 

Hard to explain how jealous I am of those that can have NC. It's hard to explain but it hardly has anything to do with anything she did or does. I'd just like to move on with my life. But with the kids at different schools and both in extracurriculars, there's something that comes up pretty much daily. With my youngest being only 7, that's a lot of years of this. But it is what it is.

 

I'm just glad to hear you're well. But you better quit flirting with me; you know, boundaries and all that. You did put a smile on my face, though. I'm a sucker for external validation.

 

Hey, it is harmless. You are younger than me and far away! LOL..but you know if you weren't young enough to be my MUCH younger brother or MUCH older nephew - well, then! Oh well - sigh!! I'll leave it be....:D:D:lmao:

[BetrayedH]

Hey, it is harmless. You are younger than me and far away! LOL..but you know if you weren't young enough to be my MUCH younger brother or MUCH older nephew - well, then! Oh well - sigh!! I'll leave it be....:D:D:lmao:

 

Oh I was just joking around, too.

 

And as I recall, you're only a few hours from here. And I kinda like older women. Hmmm.

 

(BH slinks away to read the EA section of Not Just Friends.)

[Steen719]

Oh I was just joking around, too.

 

And as I recall, you're only a few hours from here. And I kinda like older women. Hmmm.

 

(BH slinks away to read the EA section of Not Just Friends.)

 

Really threw my head back and laughed! :love: I need that section, too! OK, I'll be good!

[peruano99]

She never thought of him as a bad guy, just someone else unhappy in their marriage that she shouldn't have been with. And yes, that was before I exposed to OMW but I doubt her feelings ever changed.

 

I think you're trying to make sense of irrational thought patterns and behaviors.

 

Reading your dilemma with your wife gave me a headache. You were so patient with her that you gave her a second chance. A lot of men wouldn't have been so forgiving.

[compulsivedancer]

This one... Hot Wife Blog - hotwife and cuckold husband fetish discussion

 

The dominant thing was an answer to a question I had asked in the very early days; I don't remember what I asked.

 

PS. My apologies to the mods if I am violating the TOS with my link. It's been posted here before without infraction but I feel hesitation regardless. Feel free to delete the post if you see fit.

 

Betrayed, I can't believe she didn't take it down! Was it one post or a whole series of posts? How did you discover it? Also, did she write this while you were trying to reconcile or during the A?

 

I've wanted to ask before, but it was never relevant to the thread. It seems to me that by never taking it down, she is still disrespecting you.

 

I'm sorry if this is all in your earlier thread....I have tried to read it but had a hard time making it through.

Edited November 9, 2013 by compulsivedancer

[Steadfast]

Kidd, I had not seen this link. I will not ask how you became aware of it. I don't care. Yet, clearly, your reaction is understandable.

 

I'm also not sure how much good it'll do to rehash this old garbage. Suffice to say (and forgotten by abusive cheaters) is that you could have done and posted the very same thing at her expense. In terms of your current situation and/or state of mind, know that in a very real way you suffered clinical abuse. No matter which form it is inflicted, abuse is a devastating horror to overcome. It is no surprise that lingering issues prevail, but -indeed- it's quite a display of compassion and strength on your part to not only battle this, but to reach out to others in the helpful way you do.

 

There is little one can do, IMO, for those who gain satisfaction at the expense of another. Those who inflict cruelty will suffer greatly.

 

Much insight you will gain from this as time passes. Much wisdom will be earned. Because you're committed to overcoming it, the battle against evildoing towards the innocent will be bolstered and the wicked exposed.

 

Continue to live day by day. You need no validation, but I do encourage you to seek balance. As part of the answer and not part of the problem, you become a positive in a world filled with fear, anger and dejection.

 

Celebrate the fact that you're still standing. The pain of remembering these things will fade after it has served its usefulness. Stay the course kidd!

[compulsivedancer]

Betrayed, I can't believe she didn't take it down! Was it one post or a whole series of posts? How did you discover it? Also, did she write this while you were trying to reconcile or during the A?

 

I've wanted to ask before, but it was never relevant to the thread. It seems to me that by never taking it down, she is still disrespecting you.

 

I'm sorry if this is all in your earlier thread....I have tried to read it but had a hard time making it through.

 

Steadfast is right. I'm sorry. It's not useful to dwell on it. One of the frustrating things that I've already experienced on LS, as short of a time as I've been here, is having to go back time and again and reexplain all of the background of the story. It wears you out to rehash it, and I imagine it can be quite painful.

 

You'll get there sooner or later. It sucks that you can't go NC, and you always have to have the salt rubbed in the wound, so to speak.

 

Best wishes!

Edited November 10, 2013 by compulsivedancer

[BetrayedH]

Reading your dilemma with your wife gave me a headache. You were so patient with her that you gave her a second chance. A lot of men wouldn't have been so forgiving.

 

Yeah, so much for that idea.

[BetrayedH]

Betrayed, I can't believe she didn't take it down! Was it one post or a whole series of posts? How did you discover it? Also, did she write this while you were trying to reconcile or during the A?

 

I've wanted to ask before, but it was never relevant to the thread. It seems to me that by never taking it down, she is still disrespecting you.

 

I'm sorry if this is all in your earlier thread....I have tried to read it but had a hard time making it through.

 

I didn't find it until 8 months into our reconciliation. She wrote it during the A and didn't disclose it. The killer for me (besides the kids being in the house) was that she'd told me he'd never been in the house. The number of times she cried while saying she'd never lie again - ugh.

 

As far as I know it was the only post but I saw in the email that she was writing another. That one was probably about the threesome they had with a prostitute (another thing I suspected and she lied about).

 

No idea if she ever tried to take the post down. She'd likely have to ask the webmaster and they could certainly decline.

 

Ah, what a nice trip down memory lane.

[BetrayedH]

Kidd, I had not seen this link. I will not ask how you became aware of it. I don't care. Yet, clearly, your reaction is understandable.

 

I'm also not sure how much good it'll do to rehash this old garbage. Suffice to say (and forgotten by abusive cheaters) is that you could have done and posted the very same thing at her expense. In terms of your current situation and/or state of mind, know that in a very real way you suffered clinical abuse. No matter which form it is inflicted, abuse is a devastating horror to overcome. It is no surprise that lingering issues prevail, but -indeed- it's quite a display of compassion and strength on your part to not only battle this, but to reach out to others in the helpful way you do.

 

There is little one can do, IMO, for those who gain satisfaction at the expense of another. Those who inflict cruelty will suffer greatly.

 

Much insight you will gain from this as time passes. Much wisdom will be earned. Because you're committed to overcoming it, the battle against evildoing towards the innocent will be bolstered and the wicked exposed.

 

Continue to live day by day. You need no validation, but I do encourage you to seek balance. As part of the answer and not part of the problem, you become a positive in a world filled with fear, anger and dejection.

 

Celebrate the fact that you're still standing. The pain of remembering these things will fade after it has served its usefulness. Stay the course kidd!

 

Great post, Steadfast.

[BetrayedH]

Steadfast is right. I'm sorry. It's not useful to dwell on it. One of the frustrating things that I've already experienced on LS, as short of a time as I've been here, is having to go back time and again and reexplain all of the background of the story. It wears you out to rehash it, and I imagine it can be quite painful.

 

You'll get there sooner or later. It sucks that you can't go NC, and you always have to have the salt rubbed in the wound, so to speak.

 

Best wishes!

 

Fortunately, it's much more of an intellectual exercise for me than being painful. Not sure that my story itself helps many people. But from time to time I read a thread where someone says that their wife had an EA but they don't think she would have physically cheated on them. Yeah, right.