I am not indifferent

[compulsivedancer]

These threads made me open my eyes and made me realize I don't want to get married.

 

Get married, just make sure you're really on the same page. Do the premarital counseling and make sure it means something. Get Not Just Friends and read it together. Keep the lines of communication open and make sure you're both getting what you need - sexually AND emotionally.

[compulsivedancer]

At some point, LS transitioned from me taking from it to a position of giving back. Thank goodness. Maybe that's in store for you, too.

 

I'd like to, but frankly, it's exhausting. So many arguments, so many people with the same stories. Very very depressing stuff. And pages and pages of posts to wade through (truth be told, if a thread is longer than three pages, I don't usually touch it). I also find that it pulls at my worldview (which tends toward optimistic, but becomes easily depressed when I'm overwhelmed) - there is so rarely happy stuff on here!

 

I'm not sure how you keep doing it, but I know that it helps people. I keep an eye out and try to answer the right questions when they come up - but those are few and far between.

[Steen719]

I'd like to, but frankly, it's exhausting. So many arguments, so many people with the same stories. Very very depressing stuff. And pages and pages of posts to wade through (truth be told, if a thread is longer than three pages, I don't usually touch it). I also find that it pulls at my worldview (which tends toward optimistic, but becomes easily depressed when I'm overwhelmed) - there is so rarely happy stuff on here!

 

I'm not sure how you keep doing it, but I know that it helps people. I keep an eye out and try to answer the right questions when they come up - but those are few and far between.

 

I think that being happier, not in so much angst after so much pain and being able to show others that there is hope means a lot to so many, either side, maybe. I can't really say for WS, but as a BS, I felt that way. I thanked Steadfast because early on in my journey, he was one who showed me that there would be life after the pain I felt. It was unimaginable to me that I would be there, but his own journey to more peace and happiness and the fact that he shared it was a hope for me and at that time, any little sign that I would feel better was worth its weight in gold. Most posters may not know they make you feel better; I had many who did and you know what? They are, for the most part, still on here, helping others. Some take breaks, but most come back.

 

So, you may not know it, but I bet you are helping someone who just can't tell you. This mess makes us all nuts! But, after thinking about this, I wish I had thanked more people who spent their time and efforts being supportive when some days, it was all I had.

[compulsivedancer]

Fortunately, my ex is pretty rarely a point of conversation for us. There was a lot more in the beginning and I'm surprised it wasn't more of a problem. But hell, my story really is book-worthy so she was graceful. If anything is a challenge (maybe not the right word) for us today, it's LS. She asks what's up in LSland almost nightly so I give her a daily update. She hears a lot of trainwreck stories and fears that it's too much negativity. It's hard to convey that a lot of good comes out of it, too.

 

Honestly, there's more frustration with her ex than mine these days. But trust me, I hear you. I was nervous about it for quite a while.

 

After saying all that, is it time for you to take a LS break?

[harrybrown]

Sometimes I just can not believe how mean and coldhearted some people can be.

 

Sorry your ex treated you so lousy.

 

I triggered just readying her post.

 

Hope you will be well in the future and thanks for all your help for others.

 

I do hope someday there will be some kind of karma for all of this.

[peruano99]

Was the wife of that other guy hispanic as well?

[compulsivedancer]

Was the wife of that other guy hispanic as well?

 

Why are you so stuck on the racial/ethnic status here? WTF does it matter?

[BetrayedH]

Why are you so stuck on the racial/ethnic status here? WTF does it matter?

 

No kidding, peru. You're kinda weirding me out. What gives?

[peruano99]

Just asking since you said she was religious. Usually hispanic people are very religious.

[dreamingoftigers]

He looked like the love child of George Costanza and Kramer.

 

He had the long, sproingy hair of Kramer but the central baldness of Costanza, so his hair looked like a sort of "open volcano" on his head.

 

And yes, he had glasses, and mannerisms of Gustavo Fring.

He liked to wear blue corduroy overalls and chew peach-flavored tobacco.

 

His calm nature helped him be selected as an altar boy in the Catholic Church in Vallejo, California. His father was a prominent Mexican landowner that manufactured corduroy overalls and other work-related items. He settled in Vallejo and married a Peruvian woman in 1937. During World War Two his business flourished and was very successful into the mid-eighties when it was bought out as a subsidiary for Nike, which they later discontinued and sort off for parts.

 

He often felt alienated because of his Peruvian heritage and was determined to marry a Mexican woman to "make the family as close to pure as possible. He met his wife while studying abroad in Germany. She was a scholarship student who resembled Elvira. The Mexican Elvira.

 

He father was a leader of what has come to be known as Los Zetos, a drug cartel. After her father's violent death in 1979, the OM no longer had to ask permission for her hand in marriage as her father had been the last living make relative. She was not a target of the cartel nor a player after those events.

 

Her mother, Eva, came to live with the newly married couple as a last refuge. That's when the trouble started.

 

You see, the OM had really focused on the fact the his wife's family has been Mexucan and powerful to remake his image. He was also a quietly religious man who just loved his overalls.

 

His mother-in-laws influence on his wife seeped through more and more. The mother-in-law taught her more of the spiritual arts that she had learned whilst travelling and educating herself among the elders in her former community. She taught her daughter both Voodoo and Santa Ria.

 

The OM was distraught by this and even though he was assured of the "innocent curiosity" of his wife, it never settled well with him. Finally after one very heated argument his wife told him that "if he could not accept the practices of the ancients that came from his native Mexico, that he would never be able to understand what it meant to be a true Mexican after all."

 

She simply told him, "You, sir, are a MexiCANT."

 

With that, the OM realized his defeat. He simultaneously gave up on his marriage and being a Mexican.

 

His whole life he had been alienated from others.

It was simply too much to bear.

 

One day while surfing online, he came across Hotwife.com.

 

It emboldened him! It was something to strive for! Clearly he couldn't impress his wife anymore or be accepted as a true Mexican but maybe, just maybe he could cheat on some guy's couch!

 

Then he did. It was tragic of course for both families.

Now, he sits alone in his basement trying to dream to new goals.

 

For a bit he was doing rock and roll covers where he would change the words to be more personalized.

 

He did have two (almost) hit songs.

"Life as a Hybrid" (sung to the tune of Tom Cochrane's "Life is a Highway") peaked at #672 of the billboard record chart after he bought 23 copies abd donated then to his son's school where they were banned for "racially insensitive lyrics" (ironically)

 

The other remained titleless but was sung to the tune of Midnight Oil's "beds are burning"

Most notably the lyrics:

"How can we meet when your husband's lurking? How can we cheat when your couch is burning?"

 

It peaked at #483 when some people bought it instead of Midnight Oil's single by mistake.

 

OM's music career ended when Midnight Oil sued for infringement.

 

If only OM had known that his blue overalls were the real reason for being alienated from everyone. That, and his teeth were terrible because of the peach-flavored tobacco.

 

That's everything that anyone would need to know about BetrayedH's ex-wife's OM.

Abd for that mental image: you're welcome.

[96nole]

Just asking since you said she was religious. Usually hispanic people are very religious.

That's just a stereotype. Besides, just because someone may be religious, doesn't mean they won't do bad things. I know of a few "religious" people that cheated and found a way to use God as a way to support their cheating.

[peruano99]

I'm not stereotyping since I am hispanic myself so I know.

[96nole]

It's still a stereotype. I know many hispanics that are not religious at all.

[BetrayedH]

OMG. DoT, that's my nominee for post of the year. I will be laughing all day.

 

Peru, the other BS was a nice lady that didn't deserve what happened to her. Frankly, I'd rather not discuss further details about her out of respect for her privacy.

[dreamingoftigers]

OMG. DoT, that's my nominee for post of the year. I will be laughing all day.

 

Peru, the other BS was a nice lady that didn't deserve what happened to her. Frankly, I'd rather not discuss further details about her out of respect for her privacy.

 

That and she might be a little touchy about the Elvira reference. Yeesh, absolute proof that guys notice breasts long before they'll notice the girl has a mullet.

[peruano99]

What do you guys think of this " revenge" the guy gave to his cheating girlfriend?

 

[Steen719]

That and she might be a little touchy about the Elvira reference. Yeesh, absolute proof that guys notice breasts long before they'll notice the girl has a mullet.

 

LOL:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Ain't that just the truth, now?

[dreamingoftigers]

Fortunately, it's much more of an intellectual exercise for me than being painful. Not sure that my story itself helps many people. But from time to time I read a thread where someone says that their wife had an EA but they don't think she would have physically cheated on them. Yeah, right.

 

My Dad was caught be me phoning his hotel room after his staff member told me about the affair and where he was having it. I even asked her not to contact me anymore via Facebook. (I don't even know if they had blocking back then. I wasn't aware of it anyhow)

 

It was just fluke that I called when he was actually there abd he answered.

 

I'll never forget the sound of his voice. We've never talked about it.

It was completely a bizarre circumstance. I didn't tell my mother right away abd ironically she caught him independently the same day.

 

He had 30-40 stays in total at two different motels that could be tracked anyhow.

He tried to tell my mother it was an EA.

[peruano99]

I re-read your thread and I can't figure this thing out. You said your wife messaged the webmaster of that erotic story site and she said she will submit another story and that you were suspicious. That was before you exposed her? Also didn't you ever want to confront the other guy angrily?

[BetrayedH]

I re-read your thread and I can't figure this thing out. You said your wife messaged the webmaster of that erotic story site and she said she will submit another story and that you were suspicious. That was before you exposed her? Also didn't you ever want to confront the other guy angrily?

 

8 1/2 months into our reconciliation, I found an email trail. It was from an email account that belonged to my wife that she probably didn't know I knew about, let alone that I has the password to. The webmaster had responded to an initial email from my wife when she had submitted the first story and said she had a second story in the works. It doesn't appear that she ever submitted the second story but her first email was there in all its glory. I suspect the second story was going to be about the threesome.

 

As for confronting the OM, I did meet with him but had decided to keep my cool. I'm not a violent person. My wife had claimed the affair was over and I wanted to hear from the other half of that equation. He was remorseful and apologetic but then again, who wouldn't be? At the time, I could have exposed the affair to his wife. I eventually did so anyway.

 

Meeting with the affair partner is rarely productive. If you're violent, you go to jail. And using words to insult them is kinda pointless; they already "won" by virtue of ****in g your wife.

 

Some people manage to get some more "truth" from having such a meeting. Many times the affair partner just lies, telling a story concocted between them and the WS but every once in a while, a BS will learn something they didn't know. Sometimes the AP tells the truth. I wanted to gauge the man for myself. It proved to be a pointless exercise.

[Artie Lang]

Meeting with the affair partner is rarely productive. If you're violent, you go to jail. And using words to insult them is kinda pointless; they already "won" by virtue of ****in g your wife.

 

i get ya, BH.

 

some of these *********s are lucky they don't meet up with people of my disposition, because i just don't give a ****. i don't care about going to jail for a couple of days if i know this c0cksucker is gonna be pissing blood for a few days.

 

if i'm gonna do a two-year bit for kicking some a$$, you better believe he's gonna be walking with a limp for the rest of his life.

 

he's damn lucky you are not that kind of person.

Edited November 12, 2013 by Artie Lang

[BetrayedH]

i get ya, BH.

 

some of these *********s are lucky they don't meet up with people of my disposition, because i just don't give a ****. i don't care about going to jail for a couple of days if i know this c0cksucker is gonna be pissing blood for a few days.

 

if i'm gonna do a two-year bit for kicking some a$$, you better believe he's gonna be walking with a limp for the rest of his life.

 

he's damn lucky you are not that kind of person.

 

Yes, he was damn lucky. Dudes like me can snap though, you know? I was close.

[atreides]

i get ya, BH.

 

some of these *********s are lucky they don't meet up with people of my disposition, because i just don't give a ****. i don't care about going to jail for a couple of days if i know this c0cksucker is gonna be pissing blood for a few days.

 

if i'm gonna do a two-year bit for kicking some a$$, you better believe he's gonna be walking with a limp for the rest of his life.

 

 

love this post and ditto.

[peruano99]

You seem like a nice person, your ex wife probably felt regret she messed up such a long marriage with a good person like you.

[BetrayedH]

You seem like a nice person, your ex wife probably felt regret she messed up such a long marriage with a good person like you.

 

I appreciate the sentiment. I think she regrets how she did it and that she got caught but I don't think she regrets divorcing me. The personal rejection is the tough part for me to accept. She didn't even leave me for another man.