Affair with younger man.

[gaius]

I know of a couple men (and one woman) who squeeze in a little extra around work hours. Going a little early, lunchtime, maybe a later evening now and then.

 

They have the kind of jobs that require long hours and a lot of juggling, so it is easy for them.

 

They 'screen' their affair partners carefully... as in, no psychos... For sure, though, their spouses don't know. How do I know?? Because they approached me for that deal... and I suggested we call the wifey and they weren't keen on that.

 

I ended a friendship with a woman I met in my ballet class who insisted on sharing the details of her affair with me after I tried to get her to quit it... I told her I wasn't going to be an accomplice and if she mentions it to me once more, I'm telling her H.

 

I work with the other guys. Funny the things people share with you when you stay quiet and pretend not to be disgusted. They think you agree with them, I guess. Here's the other thing too... if the spouse is having all or most of their emotional needs met, then why would they have a reason to suspect??

 

These people I mention above... they are very attentive to their spouses. They don't want a divorce. They just want some on the side without asking or clearing it with their spouse...

 

Because that would mean their spouse would be able to go look for some action too, or they'd have to confront whatever it is in their relationship isn't working... so no, I don't believe their spouses know. Some people are just that trusting.

Most people I know have a pretty set routine that would make it hard to cheat without anyone noticing. They also don't have the financial freedom that would allow for easy cheating. Frequent hotel rooms, etc. My mom had to make up an excuse as to why she was sleeping over her boyfriends house at night when she was cheating on my step-father. I think we exist in two different worlds.

 

If these people you know can carry on affairs without any ripples hitting their official relationships then wow, impressive. No weird texts, no odd behavior after they just got back from sleeping with someone else, no decrease or increase in libido? No changes whatsoever? I don't think that's a skill most people can master. Which is probably why Jaycee's husband suspected something in the first place. She did something to make him.

[Pompeii]

The most hilarious part of this thread is the hypocritical advice and finger wagging given by a few self-acknowleged PUAs who would think nothing about flipping this dynamic if the situation were reversed. (ie 50 yr old man and 26 yr old woman). To them, that is 'normal'

.

 

PUAs? In this thread? Where? I see none?

 

If you're married, your married. You made a verbal commitment to stay in a monagamous relationship unless you both decide it is open. I seriously don't understand what's so hard to observe about that. If you're not getting your "needs" met, then I can understand it may be an alternative to look elsewhere. If your significant other isn't doing that and they forbid you to do so, then that is just unfair.