CHARLENE13 Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I have a lovely family,two kids and a husband to die for but I cheated on him and he found out. I am 32yrs and my husband is 50yrs which is not a problem becauseI love my husband but I fell like he has lost interest in our sex life and he's more into the kids,job,bills,apt etc.....! He's such a great father and love the kids so much and a provider to our family but he's not the lover/husband I want.He's all into the kids but not interested in me.I went on vacation over the Summer and met someone younger (25yrs) and who's so into me.He makes me feel loved and gives me the attention I want. The other guy loves me but cant travel to see me as yet,I am only focus on seeing this other guy and I feel in love with him,the other guy even broke up with his gf of 4.5 yrs for me.I am so confuse and dont know what to do? I don't want to end my marriage and then regret it,Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
lukas Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 There is no right answer that an outsider can give you in how to deal with this situation. The only answers you will find come from introspection and the change in your relationship dynamic. If it is true that your husband knows about your affair, then he needs to figure out how he wants to proceed from here and communicate that to you. You should also be examining whether you really want to stay with him, too. Be prepared though, as he may leave you because of the pain and grief you have caused him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ki11a_FTW Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Crazy. You guys have two kids, I wouldn't want them exposed to all of this. I'm not in your shoes, but if you really love your husband and your family, stay dedicated to them and no one else. If you are unhappy with that then take action, it may be for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Whatever happened to communication? Why didn't you just have a talk with your husband about your unhappiness with your marriage instead of running off and f***ing someone else? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Give your H a divorce. That way he can find a woman to honor and respect him. You? Well, you'll probably leave your kids and chase after the young guy. I hope you will learn as you go along and grow up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Misfortune Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 What happens if the young guy drops you once you reach the age where you have the same mindset as your husband? How did you know his relationship with his gf wasn't already over before you entered the scene? Maybe you're just a milf that he now has the pleasure of bragging about. It's all exciting until you drop your baggage on each other. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 Why'd you marry your husband? I don't believe in divorce unless there is abuse. That's the whole point you know? Stay together no matter what. it's not about staying together until you find someone you think will make you "happier". I think this has more to do with you than him. The fact that you married someone practically old enough to be your father points to some emotional issues, and now going for a much younger man accentuates it. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 Don't listen to this man. He thinks women are only good for screwing so he has some emotional issues and chauvinism issues himself. When did I ever say that? I said I like sex, that doesn't mean I think that's all women are good for. And even if I did say that, what does that have to do with the point I just made? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I have a lovely family,two kids and a husband to die for but I cheated on him and he found out. I am 32yrs and my husband is 50yrs which is not a problem becauseI love my husband but I fell like he has lost interest in our sex life and he's more into the kids,job,bills,apt etc.....! He's such a great father and love the kids so much and a provider to our family but he's not the lover/husband I want.He's all into the kids but not interested in me.I went on vacation over the Summer and met someone younger (25yrs) and who's so into me.He makes me feel loved and gives me the attention I want. The other guy loves me but cant travel to see me as yet,I am only focus on seeing this other guy and I feel in love with him,the other guy even broke up with his gf of 4.5 yrs for me.I am so confuse and dont know what to do? I don't want to end my marriage and then regret it,Please help! Just do your husband and family a favor and divorce him so they can move on without such an immature entitlement witch. The reason he is "into" kids, job and bills is because he is trying to provide a decent living for you and your family. That is what happens when you get married and have a family, unless you want to have kids and make sure they are homeless and uneducated. You try to provide for your children and your spouse if you can. Unless of course you forgot to read that memo.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I feel in love with him correction, you are in love with him. I don't want to end my marriage and then regret it,Please help! That last line says it all. That is the tragic part, having a regret at this point with so much already vested. I also suspect you don't want to end the marriage because of the consequences it will bring you. There is simply no easy way out of this at this point. I have no interest in lecturing you on morals or what you deserve or don't or whether to admit to your A or not and so on. You have two options but i truly believe you already know what you want. You either cut off the OM, learn to communicate to your H that you want wore sex and attention or leave him. I do not believe that once a relationship has kids that sex goes out the window or should diminish as a zero sum game of trade-offs of being a couple for the responsibilities of being a family. In my 15 years with 3 kids, it is hard work but we communicate no matter how weird our sexual desires become. Sometimes i know my desires will get laughed at but i suck it up and ask for them no matter her reaction and we have fun sharing each other’s desires. I find that it opens up my wife a little more sexually as she is the one I would honestly say is not as sexual via her upbringing she had. I go back to regret because that is already a conclusion, it is not a pending thought or emotion. That is going to be hardest for you to overcome and reverse frankly to fall back in love with your H and to stay with your family and not seek out another man who fulfills your sexual desires. It also is very clear that if this OM were closer to you, that he would be getting most of your attention as you admit to being in love with the OM. The only thing i would ask of you is that if or perhaps when you leave your H that you treat him right via all the assets you share and especially with the kids. Don’t make him pay twice for your mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 You were on vacation alone? Is that the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You've broken your marriage vows and your marriage is over, unless you can come clean with your husband and work it out. He sounds like he has been going all out for his family, and has done the right thing. Perhaps he should be set free, to find the woman who will love him for what he is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Good guys finish last. Again. Good guys need to be more careful as to who they choose, as they're looking for more in life than empty sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Good guys finish last. Again. They sure do...... Things like being responsible are apparently outdated notions. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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