Blondie Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 I posted here right before newsyears about problems with my husband, I did not go out with him on newsyears eve. because I asked him what he was expecting from me and he said he wanted me to be all like luvvy dovey with him in front of his new friends (who are in love ? she is married 34 and he is 23 )Whatever,and if other things happen we would take it from then he also said if we get trashed we could get a room ??, so I said no way I am not going to pretend,If you wanted to just go as friends and companion thats one thing , but as lovers when we are seperated and have not been lovers for over two years, I mean really #-) So I said you are welcome to stay here with the kids and I ,I had decided to have my niece's and nephrew over to spend the night with my kids ( alittle news years party for them ) H e said he was commited to go with them ,............ COMMITED HE SAID ! what about the commitment to us his family which he says means more to him then anything !!! Whew, ok get a grip....well, he went out I had a great time with the kids ,and he came in the middle of the morning 3:30 am saying he had a horrible time. HAHA he also came because he knew he couldn't go where he is staying (with parents) because they would be very upset with him . User and Loser ? oh yeah ! So he realizes that he screwed up again , because when given a choice he always think of himself first! and that is why our marriage is almost over . We are still married at this point only because I am giving him a chance to change and prove it ,I know change takes time , he was one way for so long I am giving him the opportunity to learn as he goes , the only problem is , waiting for something that just may never happen . anywho, that is where I am right now ,also he is finally taking responsibility for the bills thank god! Thanks to you all for your advive :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 ( Didn't you post your problem here under a diffirent name?) Don't let up. Keep standing your ground, and insist that he pay the bills. Also, keep you distance from him until he does, don't let him get any emotional "leverage" on you. Don't let him manipulate you by telling you things you want to hear, but not acting on them. When people like that start to get desperate they make promises they can't keep to try to win someone over. And you number one priority is still to get a job for yourself so you won't have to rely on him for money as much. You need to have some way of looking after yourself financially or he'll continue to 'blackmail' you. Don't give up, please. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 you sound like you have your head screwed on. it is so refreshing to hear someone say they "may be waiting for something that just may never happen". too many people pin their hopes on what their heart desires, and end up getting their hearts broken by not looking at things from a realistic perspective. smart move to not get your hopes up, and smart move to stand your ground. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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