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[Out West 50]

Found some receipts from WH work travel. There are quite a few rental car receipts where the mileage is in excess of where he was supposed to go. Example, from airport to office to meet client, hotel for the evening and back to clients office in the morning and then back to airport, which should be about 50 miles.

 

 

Well, low and behold the rental car receipt shows he drove 238 miles, and this is not the 1st time where excessive miles have shown up on the receipts and he always, always comes up with an excuse.

 

Now keep in mind, he has not confessed to anything over the past 5 years that I have had the “feeling” that our marriage was not quite right. He has denied, denied, denied everything.

Anyways, when I ask him about the mileage on the rental car, he said well the person who checked the car in when he returned it obviously made a mistake.

 

That’s just like the people at the airport coffee shops who show there are 2 guests when he orders a coffee and a muffin and his reply is they punch the orders into the computer so fast they just hit buttons.

I don’t have concrete proof, other than his expense receipts and his actions. There are remnants of text messages in a folder on his phone, most of them from dates he was traveling, but I cannot see the messages, only the dates of the texts and some other numbers that don’t make sense. 

 

Now here’s another thing, he was traveling a few weeks back, taking the red eye from the west coast to the east coast. The Saturday before he was to depart on Monday evening, he kept walking past his desk where his phone was looking at the phone, almost like he was looking for an expected text, etc. When I asked him what he was doing, he made excuses that he was getting chap stick, trying to see if he had any emails (On Saturday evening?????), but he usually uses his IPad or IPhone to check emails , not his BB.

 

As far as the suspected AP, I think it is someone who is in the airline industry, because of the different cities that he travels to and the receipts.

 

I have looked at cc statements and bank statements, so I know he is not paying for anyone to meet him there, nor is he paying for his companionship.

Am I nuts or paranoid as he often tells me?

[pteromom]

You sound paranoid.

 

Adding up his mileage? Checking his receipts? This stuff is wack-a-doo.

 

You say you have a "feeling" something isn't right in your marriage. So you need to explore that (in your head, not by checking receipts.)

 

Do you have a history of unfaithful partners?

Do you have a history of jealousy?

Did you grow up with an unfaithful parent?

 

If yes, some of your "feeling" may just be fear of trusting him.

 

If no, it may be that your gut is telling you something is wrong. But spending your time adding up his mileage is crazy. If it is true that he is a liar and a cheater, he will ALWAYS have an excuse, so you are wasting your time. You need to let go of this behavior - for yourself - and either decide to trust him or not.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Those sound like some seriously glaring red flags to me. Once or twice maybe you could accept his explanation but it seems very unusual that he repeatedly can't explain how people are charging him twice for stuff, wouldn't you notice when you returned a car that they were charging you for 200 extra miles? Or you were paying double for a coffee and muffin?

 

You'd think that he would he paying cash for these things, or hiding his receipts better.

[Realist3]

Nothing there based on the evidence you have.

[dichotomy]

I will play devils advocate. So lets say he has been cheating, you tipped his hand with questions on minor inconsistencies and usual information. This would force him more underground. Some will not like this - but you need to go deeper to make sure. Most spouses who feel something is up - are proven right. You know him better than any of us. This may mean computer spy software, VARs, or finally a PI firm.

[Realist3]

I'm not suggesting he isn't cheating, but based on what she has so far there is nothing to confront him with.

 

As we all know the OP's biggest mistake is coming at him with these little bits a pieces of not much.

[Out West 50]

There is more than just the receipts. I have caught him in many many many lies.

 

There is also more than just the "extra" mileage on the rental cars. I guess I should have maybe included all that stuff as well, sorry..... but it would almost be a book.

 

He has to use his corporate credit card when he is on a business related trip for any expenses.

[Realist3]

I'm sure you do have more, but if what you listed was the most compelling evidence you have, it is not very compelling. Maybe you have a more substantial circumstantial case.

[Jonah]

I see enough evidence in your post to indicate an immediate need for marriage counseling.