Did I make a mistake

[blueicedreams]

Hi everyone,

 

I would really like some reponse from this PLEASE. I am attracted to an former co-worker. I am also in a long term relationship. Although the co-worker and I don't work together anymore we still talk on a regular basis. We flirt all the time and seem to be very curious about each other sexually. We always hint we will get together but don't. He said he wants to take me out a couple of times but never has actually planned anything.

 

I find myself thinking about him often and wondering if he can "save" me from my relationship. I find myself thinking he's interested and then the next day thinking he's not interested. This weekend I suddenly text message him to stop calling me. I fill really like crap for doing this. We talked the day before all friendly and then the next day I text him this message without any explanation.

 

I just having a hard time in life right now in general. Everything in life seems really hard right now and I thought it would be easier if I could sort some other things out without having to deal with if he is interested or not. Anyway, I feel like I lost a friend and a mentor. He probably thinks I'm this crazy psycho(not the look I was going for).

 

I wish I could tell him the reason behind my decision but I don't want to get hurt and scare the hell out of him all in the same day.

I feel that if he was interested it would of happened already. Do you think there are guys out there that will love a girl so much they wouldn't stop till they have her, even if she is in a relationship? Just curious.

 

Anyway, if I work thru this and decide I just want to be friends...do you think he will still want to be my friend. I haven't known him for very long, but I feel like he is an amazing friend.

[Pocky]

I find myself thinking about him often and wondering if he can "save" me from my relationship.

 

Why don't you save yourself? Don't you think it'd be better for you to end the relationship you're in now before finding someone else? Why do you need his interest in you as a motive for leaving your, obviously unhappy, relationship?

[alphamale]

Most men who say they are going to ask you out repeatedly and then never end up asking you out are not interested or are just playing with your mind.

 

It is sorta the same as when some woman flirts with a man just to get attention and really has no interesst in him romantically.

[overseas2004]

I had the same thing happen to me or rather let me say its been happening since August. I had a boyfriend when I met this co-worker who floored me completely. I broke up with the boyfriend amicably. But the co-worker knew I had a boyfriend and I never had an opportunity to mention the fact that I didn't have a bf. He just flirted with me and never actually planned dates.

 

well I ended up with the coworker in bed last friday. Only to find out that he didnt care that I had a bf. He has a gf.

 

So if I guy doesnt make plans with you even if you have a bf... watch out.

[bluetuesday]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork

Lol, watch out? I hate girls and boys who do this crap. AMerican and Western Europe, land of h0s and gigah0s.

 

 

i've never heard of a gigaho.

 

this guy isn't necessarily messing with you in my opinion.

 

maybe he's sniffing you out to see if you want to date him. or maybe he's just after a shag.

 

guys are weird. anything's possible.

 

but what HE wants isn't the only issue. i suspect you wouldn't have texted him saying to leave you alone if this didn't reflect your true feelings. so you're curious about what he'd be like in the sack. it doesn't mean you think he'd be a good boyfriend for you, more likely you're just looking for a way out of your current situation.

 

pocky's dead right though. don't wait for a guy to save you, ever. he's a guy, not a life preserver. if you need to get out of your relationship don't make some other guy your excuse. muster your strength and do it alone.

[blueicedreams]

Ok. I really didn't mean to say I was looking for someone to rescue me. What I wanted was for someone who was obviously flirting with me the find me attractive. What I wanted was him to think about me. I didn't want him to call me anymore if he was going to flirt and not do anything about it, but now I find myself missing the friendship and his mentorship. I 'm new to the field of mortgage/real estate...he's been in the business for years. I am unemployed and think I not only messed up a friendship but also an insider's knowledge of the industry. I guess he just wasn't in to me. My friend's say that an aggressive girl like me will never meet an aggressive man. They say I only attract weak men. My friends said if I would of set a date and time then we would of been ok. I just didn't won't to be a ho with my friend...instead I came off psycho. Opps. Even though I wanted him sooo bad, it wouldn't be worth it if I came off as a ho. Of course he hasn't called.

Damn the PMS and Long Island Ice Teas.

[Devildog]

Originally posted by blueicedreams

Do you think there are guys out there that will love a girl so much they wouldn't stop till they have her, even if she is in a relationship? Just curious.

 

In my experience absolutely. I have had to deal with the same guy twice in my current relationship with my wife. The first time was when we first started dating. He had just broken up with a long time girlfriend and started calling my then girlfriend and stopping by her parents house to visit her. He swore that he "just wanted to be friends and knew and understood she was in a relationship and would never do anything to interfere with that." Two weeks later he tried to kiss her. She told him to take a hike and not call her anymore.

 

Fast forward 8 years and he got married early this year and was getting a divorce three months later. Who does he turn to for friendship and moral support? My wife. He would stop by my house after I left for work to visit her. And again he swore that he "just wanted to be friends and knew and understood she was married and would never do anything to interfere with that." Sounds familiar doesn't it? My wife and I are currently separated and this issue has a lot to do with that. I don't know if we will get divorced or not. And even though he knew it was causing serious problems with our marriage he never once backed off. Not until the whole town turned against him and his family's business started to suffer anyway.

 

So yes, some people won't take no for an answer irregardless of if the object of their desire is in a relationship or not. They are called selfish homewreckers and usually no one likes them.