Jamison Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi all, I have a question and was wondering what others thought. What do others think about someones husband sending emails to a woman he works with? Meaning the emails are things such as dirty jokes, sometimes dirty pics, (not porn) but for example: I got a email from my friend who is a woman about bush campain it was a woman from the waist down naked. It said no more bush. Her you know what was shaved. I sent it to my husband, because I usually send him things I get. However he is sending this kinda of stuff to this woman he works with. I find that kind of inapproirate. I don't know much about her except she is married and has 2 kids. I also know that one of his friends said she was a bed hopper there where they work before she got married. What do others think about him sending her emails such as that? I could understand him sending it to his buddies like his men buddies for a good laugh, but another woman? Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 I might could understand it a little better if you and your husband were friends with her and her husband. Meaning sometimes we share dirty jokes or pics like that with our friends we feel comfortable with. Most of the time too friends know what their boundaries are as far as what they should send or not. However, since this is someone you don't know much about, then I would think it might be a little inappropirate. Does he send this kind of stuff to his men buddies or just this woman? _____________________________ "Don't argue with me, you wont win." Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 He needs to stop that on a purely professional basis, if not a personal one. Do you know how quickly he could get reamed for sexual harassment by doing that?? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 hey jamison.. personally i would keep a close watch on that ****.. you don't send dirty things to a woman when you are married that is a big no no!! i wouldn't let this slide keep your eyes and ears open with this .. is this the only time you notice this or this is a repetetive thing!! good luck hope i helped some.. oh yeah get one of them keyloggers or spycam to see where and what he is doing.. : Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Hello all thanks for the replys. Binturong, not sure what you're meaning by sexual harrassment. He sends her those emails from our home computer to her home computer not at work. Maybe I misunderstood what you were meaning. Anyway lilmoma, thanks for your reply. I have thought about the keylogger but not sure if I want to do that. Thanks again for the replys. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 I must be the odd one out here. I personally don't think it is that bad. Mind you, I have a dirty sense of humour. I wouldn't have a problem if my husband forwarded a dirty joke to a friend from work - male or female. I also wouldn't appreciate it if my husband told me what I could and could not send to a friend. IMO, it is a trust/respect issue. I think you might be reading a bit too much into this and I definitely think a key logger is blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 I don't think that is very professional of him at all, but it wouldn't worry me that he sent it to a female coworker instead of a male one. Its not like its his bush in the picture. My boyfriend's female friends send him (and me) dirty stuff all the time. (Okay- not quite that dirty.) Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Does he send her anything else? Does he send long messages where he's sharing his thoughts with her? Does he call her on the phone on weekends? Does he spend time with her? Does he go to lunch with her every day? If all he is doing is forwarding over spam mail I don't think it's a big deal. We have several coworkers in the office that have something more than the general professional relationship and we share dirty pictures amongst us. We all have the same sense of humor, but that's all it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Thanks for the replys. Pocky, as far as I know he sends her the spam emails we all get sometimes. To my knowledge she has never replyed back on any of the things he has sent her. I think what bothers me is her track record. She was a bed hopper before she got married and likes the men. Even though shes married she goes out to clubs with men friends etc. Not my husband but others at work. I have heard shes easy access if you know what I mean. I guess by my husband sending her those things almost appears to me like he is incenuating something to her. Maybe I am over reacting, but thanks for the replys. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Has you husband given you any reason to question whether or not he's be faithful? Link to post Share on other sites
Joyce Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 The bottom line is that you are not comfortable with it. Talk to your husband about it. Explain to him that it worries you. I am sure that he will stop sending jokes to her if he knows that it bothers you. Don't make a huge deal out of it and don't come across like you are accusing him of anything. Just casually talk to him. Communication is very important. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 If this woman is such a good friend of his then why don't you & yer hubby invite her and her hubby out for a nite on the town? If they decline the offer (your hubby or her) then that may be a mild cause for concern. You meeting this woman in person and getting to know her may answer some questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Pocky, no he hasn't really given me a reason the think hes not been faithful. However there was a time a few months ago, where he was making alot of false accusations against me for no reason. Not sure why or where all that came from. I asked him then why he felt the need to acuse me of things I had not done, he bowed his head and looked at the floor and told me he didn't know why. Link to post Share on other sites
Honesty Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 It's not that big of a deal. Yeah it's not professional of him but it's not bad. If he were sending naked pics of himself that would be differwnt Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 alphamale, actually thats a good idea. I may suggest that and see what he thinks and his reaction. If we all did go out I may be able to pick up how they are acting around each other too. I met her one time recently. Me and the kids went to eat with him for lunch one afternoon. She was there but sitting with other co-workers. I asked my husband if he wanted us to all sit with his buddies he said no lets just you, me and the kids sit togther. Which was fine by me. When she got up to leave and pay for her lunch, she stopped by our table. My husband introduced us. He said, insert (Her name) this is insert (my name) and insert (kids names). He didn't introduce me as his wife he said just my name and the kids names. Guess he figured she probably knew who we were. Most of the time though if I introduce my husband to someone I say this is my husband (insert name). Not just his name. Oh well, I'll mention it to him and see about us getting together. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Jamison, you said he worked with her, so I assumed it was a work thing. HOWEVER, sexual harassment that occurs outside of the workplace is still sexual harassment and could make her feel uncomfortable at work too and that could get him in trouble. On the topic of him sending her emails, I agree with the others. If it bothers you, then say something about it. It shouldn't matter that she bed hops as long as you trust your husband. A woman can throw herself at a man all she wants, but he's always got the option of saying no (although if that were the case, he really should remove himself from the situation anyway). Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Hi thanks for the replys. I just saw where my husband sent her a email of monkeys in a zoo. One monkey was giving another monkey a BJ. 2 or 3 pics of it from different angles. He didn't send it to any of his men buddies, just her. Thanks for the replys. Link to post Share on other sites
doityourself Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 hey jamison, i think this type of stuff is very inappropiate to send to a women that you work with.. first of all he is a married man and she is married as well something like that could make her think he is insinuating something and she might think he want her to do that.. i think you should have a talk with your h and tell him this is wrong !! Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 jamison - you don't have enough to go on here. i personally think there's nothing wrong with the content of the 'no bush' email you mentioned (although the monkey hummer sounds a tad freaky). but then i have a curious sense of humour. what your hubby and this woman find funny is beside the point though. it bothers you and if he knows that, it should be enough to make him think twice. it IS a matter of trust. if you trust him there is nothing in what he's doing to raise a red flag for me. if you don't trust him, there's another reason why - not this. at worst he's unprofessional but unless you're also his boss that's not your concern. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamison Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 This isn't done at work its done at home. NO I'm not his boss but I am his wife and what goes on in my house is my concern just as if it would be his if I were doing what he is doing by sending emails such as that. Anyway thanks for the input. Just hope she doesn't get the wrong idea by my husband sending her a email of animals getting BJ's. I'm sure it was just all in fun. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
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