JAAVA Posted March 6, 1999 Share Posted March 6, 1999 Ok, I'm 18 and everyone says at this age love is confusing.... but now it's even more confusing because I'm in love with an older guy... 17 yrs older... he's not married, has no children, so that's not a problem but the age is... I wonder if he likes me or not and if he does, would he ever want to be with me? I don't know, I need help, could somebody pls help? Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted March 6, 1999 Share Posted March 6, 1999 Ok, I'm 18 and everyone says at this age love is confusing.... but now it's even more confusing because I'm in love with an older guy... 17 yrs older... he's not married, has no children, so that's not a problem but the age is... I wonder if he likes me or not and if he does, would he ever want to be with me? I don't know, I need help, could somebody pls help? Not only is it confusing, but "love" at 18 is still growing and developing, so it's not so likely to be found. 17 years is a HUGE difference at 18 and 35. Notice this man is old enough to be your father, and think about that for a second. Why would you be attracted to someone with father-like characteristics? Perhaps you have some unfinished emotional business from your past and you are trying to complete it through this relationship (which is essentially what everyone does in their relationships, it just varies in degree and reason). This isn't going to be a relationship that works. It's just inappropriate. You should be looking for relationships with your peers, and clearly he isn't one of those. I think it would be most helpful to step back from this all and reflect on what your internal motivations are. You don't want to get into a difficult situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Another older man's View Posted March 6, 1999 Share Posted March 6, 1999 Ok, I'm 18 and everyone says at this age love is confusing.... but now it's even more confusing because I'm in love with an older guy... 17 yrs older... he's not married, has no children, so that's not a problem but the age is... I wonder if he likes me or not and if he does, would he ever want to be with me? I don't know, I need help, could somebody pls help? One of the differences about dating a man 35 as compared to a 18-25 yr. old is usually the 35 will have much of his life together. Then could appreciate a younger woman. Also if BY chance you marry him, you will be 33 when he's 50 and still young enough to find a younger or more your age man. What this sounds like is he wants some great sex for awhile and when he meets another woman more to his tastes and age he will drop you and possibly HURT your precious feelings. I'm 37 and would love to have great sex with an 18 year old precious. I could teach her many things about LIFE and HOW to LOVE LIFE. You make the call here. Keep in mind if you date this guy you could keep yourself from meeting some great man nearer your age. 18-28 should be your limit. Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
JUSTAGUY Posted March 15, 1999 Share Posted March 15, 1999 Well, as much as my hormones make me want to say otherwise, this advice is correct. 35 is way too old for an 18 year old. I'm also a 35 year OLD man myself, and well...what would we have in common besides how our body parts might interract? You've got to talk to each other some of the time, and talking about the weather isn't enough. On the other hand, it's not easy dating guys that are close to you in age either, because all they want is...well, there's no mystery there. So...you've got to watch us closely no matter what age we are! After all, we guys are nothing but trouble! Not only is it confusing, but "love" at 18 is still growing and developing, so it's not so likely to be found. 17 years is a HUGE difference at 18 and 35. Notice this man is old enough to be your father, and think about that for a second. Why would you be attracted to someone with father-like characteristics? Perhaps you have some unfinished emotional business from your past and you are trying to complete it through this relationship (which is essentially what everyone does in their relationships, it just varies in degree and reason). This isn't going to be a relationship that works. It's just inappropriate. You should be looking for relationships with your peers, and clearly he isn't one of those. I think it would be most helpful to step back from this all and reflect on what your internal motivations are. You don't want to get into a difficult situation. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted March 15, 1999 Share Posted March 15, 1999 Well, as much as my hormones make me want to say otherwise, this advice is correct. 35 is way too old for an 18 year old. I'm also a 35 year OLD man myself, and well...what would we have in common besides how our body parts might interract? You've got to talk to each other some of the time, and talking about the weather isn't enough. On the other hand, it's not easy dating guys that are close to you in age either, because all they want is...well, there's no mystery there. So...you've got to watch us closely no matter what age we are! After all, we guys are nothing but trouble! Whoa Nelley! The answer to "Does age matter?" is quite simple: Does age matter to you? You've gotta ask yourself "why?" ... Why am I getting into this relationship? What attracted me to her? Is it the age? Or is the age merely a coincidence? And you have to be honest to yourself when answering that question. Most likely, if there's that big of an age gap where you simply can't question it, then age must be fundamental. That is bad. There are other issues involved then. Age shouldn't matter. That doesn't mean if it does, it's okay. That means that if it does matter, then you shouldn't pursue the relationship. Instead move past that by finding out a.) why age matters to you and b.) how to handle whatever it is that's bothering you about your peers. All men aren't out for one thing and one thing only. Keep your eyes and heart open. Best wishes, LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
Phil Posted April 4, 1999 Share Posted April 4, 1999 Hi, I'm in much the same situation, I'm 19 and in love with a woman who's 36. I met her on the internet and will soon meet, but I don't know what problems there might be and I'm very confused right now. I just want to be with someone I love. We've been talking on the net and by phone for 7 months now, and sent lots of pictures to each other. I thought she was 25 and alone but she's just told me that's she's in fact 36 and has 2 kids. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I wasn't mad at her, and we still love each other but she said as the adult she couldn't let this go on any longer and it was over. Well we stayed friends and now we're kinda back together again and we're still going to meet but we're not sure if it's as friends or partners. The age gap might be a problem, I don't know, and her kids are 16 and 12 so I don't know if they'll be any problem there either. Someone please help me, I REALLY could do with some advice here. Thanks, Phil Link to post Share on other sites
Flippzoid Posted April 26, 1999 Share Posted April 26, 1999 Hi, I'm in much the same situation, I'm 19 and in love with a woman who's 36. I met her on the internet and will soon meet, but I don't know what problems there might be and I'm very confused right now. I just want to be with someone I love. We've been talking on the net and by phone for 7 months now, and sent lots of pictures to each other. I thought she was 25 and alone but she's just told me that's she's in fact 36 and has 2 kids. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I wasn't mad at her, and we still love each other but she said as the adult she couldn't let this go on any longer and it was over. Well we stayed friends and now we're kinda back together again and we're still going to meet but we're not sure if it's as friends or partners. The age gap might be a problem, I don't know, and her kids are 16 and 12 so I don't know if they'll be any problem there either. Someone please help me, I REALLY could do with some advice here. Thanks, Phil In response to your question there could possibly be a problem when it comes to her children.Due to the fact that you're only 3 years older than one and only 7 years older than the other.But what's the matter with just meeting one another as friends first? It's not only about the girl that you've grown to care about she has two children.Sit back and ask yourself if you're going to ready for such a situation.When you both finally meet one another and decide to go on with another just make sure you can honestly ask yourself if you're ready to be in such a relashionship.You're a legal adult and if you can honestly say you can handle anything that comes at you than goforit!!!! Flippzoid Link to post Share on other sites
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