gf is still mad over minor cheating

[SimpsonK]

First off, stop with the "all I did" crap. What you did was enough.

 

Otherwise your gf should be able to go out, make out with a guy and tell you its all she did, therefore you should just suck it up.

 

Betrayal is betrayal.

If it was an honest mistake and she was really sorry about it then I would forgive, as long as that was it and she didn't do anything else.

If it's with a guy I don't know or one I'm not closed to, I don't confront him. If it's with one of my friends, then I'll probably punch him.

Sorry dude, 3 months is nothing. She has every right to still be upset about this. 3 months is still very raw. Even after a year I would understand if she is still pissed about this.

Then it's more serious than I thought initially. I'm really trying to make her feel happy again.

[SimpsonK]

Kissing in many ways is more intimate than sex.

Why is that?

I didn't share my body with the other girl nor did other sexual acts. And you can't get seriously infected from kissing.

 

BTW I'm not trying to downplay what I did but just asking what you stated. I would honestly be more devastated if my gf had sex with another man (or blew him) than kissed or got emotionally involved.

[SimpsonK]

If I were her' date=' I'd have dumped your ass the day you told me. Would that have been easier for you?[/quote']So telling her the following day wasn't right? I told her because I felt bad about it.

[crederer]

Why is that?

I didn't share my body with the other girl nor did other sexual acts. And you can't get seriously infected from kissing.

 

BTW I'm not trying to downplay what I did but just asking what you stated. I would honestly be more devastated if my gf had sex with another man (or blew him) than kissed or got emotionally involved.

 

Basically, I only kiss women I love. I have had sex with women and not kissed them. To me, kissing is more of an emotional expression than sex.

[SimpsonK]

Basically, I only kiss women I love. I have had sex with women and not kissed them. To me, kissing is more of an emotional expression than sex.

Wow then you're different than I am. I've only had sex with my gf as I was a complete virgin when we met while she only had sex with 2 other men (relationships) before me.

[CrystalCastles]

Why is that?

I didn't share my body with the other girl nor did other sexual acts. And you can't get seriously infected from kissing.

 

BTW I'm not trying to downplay what I did but just asking what you stated. I would honestly be more devastated if my gf had sex with another man (or blew him) than kissed or got emotionally involved.

 

It is irrelevant how you would feel if you were in her shoes. The situation is about her and her feelings, not you.

 

She is devastated from you kissing someone else. That's the point. And that you're acting like it's nbd. Stop.

[SimpsonK]

It is irrelevant how you would feel if you were in her shoes. The situation is about her and her feelings, not you.

 

She is devastated from you kissing someone else. That's the point. And that you're acting like it's nbd. Stop.

Yeah I understand and will help her trust me again. I get now.

[SimpsonK]

Why would you want to punch him? Its her that would have betrayed you and it was probably "an honest mistake"

If he's my friend and he knew very well I was in a relationship then he deserves that punch as that's not what what friends do; it's called the bro code.

 

Then I guess it's in our nature. Since we don't hit girls, we'll go after the guy and hit him instead.

Edited September 19, 2013 by SimpsonK

[The Way I Am]

Simpson, you're absolutely trying to downplay what you did. The closest you've come to remorseful is "I made a mistake that day, a stupid one." and "I get it."

 

But I don't think you actually do get it. Because after you made those claims to understand your mistake you gave this response:

 

If I were her' date=' I'd have dumped your ass the day you told me. Would that have been easier for you?[/quote']

 

So telling her the following day wasn't right? I told her because I felt bad about it.

 

If you really got it, you would see that the point It's Just Me was making is that you're lucky your gf is even still with you. You'd express some kind of remorse and understanding. You wouldn't be trying to still justify what you did by claiming that you did the "right" thing by telling her the next day.

 

Betraying your gf's trust wasn't right. The fact that you came clean the next day and didn't go as far as you could have makes it maybe a tiny, minuscule fraction better. But you still haven't gotten it through your head that you may as well consider this the same betrayal of trust as if you'd screwed the other girl. Until you actually treat this with the level of remorse you should, your gf will never let it go. I don't see how she could ever trust you not to betray her again when you make so little of it.

[johan]

"Minor cheating." While your actions might fall along some continuum between wrong and really wrong, people's sense of betrayal is generally either on or off. You either trust someone or you don't. You want her to feel only a little bit betrayed and to trust only a little bit less. You're being a lot naive.

[crederer]

Wow then you're different than I am. I've only had sex with my gf as I was a complete virgin when we met while she only had sex with 2 other men (relationships) before me.

 

 

You're failing to get the point. I understand we are different. Your girl on the other hand seems to feel similar to me on the subject. it's not about what you feel, it's about what she feels.