Trying To Move On

[Cinnimon]

This is probably going to sound crazy but here goes. I have been talking to a MM for three and a half years. When I say talking I mean text, phone and email. We have never met or been physical. We just starting talking as friends on a social media site and before long feelings became involved. I've alway known that being thousands of miles away from each other and him being married that nothing would ever become of us even though we had discussed it many times.

A few months ago things changed. He changed. He said that the guilt had been eating away at him. I told him I understand, I never felt good about the deception either. So our LDR became LC and even NC for awhile but then started back again slowly but has never gotten back to where it was before. I still have feelings for him and he for me but it has got to the point that it's just painful. We still talk and text everyday knowing it isn't going anywhere.I don't expect him to leave and he doesn't expect for me to stay. We will never even meet each other in person.

Here is my problem. I want to be able to move on but I can't let go of the feelings. I have been asked out on dates by single men but when it comes down to it, I just can't do it. I have been trying to move on for a few months now, but it just seems impossible. My friends (that know) keep telling me that the key to getting over him is to start seeing other people. How do I do that when I still have feelings for MM? Should I just stay to myself until I get over him? Anyone else been in this situation?

[Cinnimon]

You have an addictive personality.

 

 

Your situation is highly illogical, but you are addicted.

 

I'm sure you're right Pierre. Even so I am here, in pain, trying to figure it all out. I appreciate your input.

[legalgirl]

Been there done that! Just try the dates, one of those single guys may blow you away and help you find true happiness!!!

[Cinnimon]

I don't even know how to hold a conversation with anyone other than MM at this point. I feel lost and alone tonight. Single guy asked me out to dinner for Friday night and I said yes. I said yes because I keep thinking I need to get myself out of this place I feel stuck in.Now I feel nothing but anxiety. It feels ridicules to feel so tied to someone I've never met or physically been with. What in the world have I done to myself.

[hollyhillcourt]

First of all, do not beat yourself up. Counterproductive.

 

Second, go on dates. Your gf's are right. I promise you it works!!!

 

Go. Have fun. We are Lucky to be single!

 

My gf's and I instituted something called a 'distract pact' a few years ago and its specifically for getting over men.

 

Lean on your girls and get back out there!!!

[Cinnimon]

Thank you Holly. I'm trying.

[cif]

My friends (that know) keep telling me that the key to getting over him is to start seeing other people. How do I do that when I still have feelings for MM? Should I just stay to myself until I get over him? Anyone else been in this situation?

 

Your friends are right. You need to form *real* connections with other people. What you had with this MM is fantasy. If you wait around at home depriving yourself of real relationships you'll go insane.