My BF doesn't care about me like I do about him.

[Blondejab]

So I don't know what to do...

My SO is becoming angry with me and Picking fights all the time. He never wants to talk on the phone, and God forbid if he gets Company when he is on the phone cause then he hangs ups, because he would rather hang with them then Talk to me. I used to think he was cheating on me, cause of things I found in his room, and the Fact that I Found a Used condom in his waste Basket. We fought alot about his cheating(although he swaers that he never Did), but he is in a band, and Lots of girls like guys in bands, and guys are all the same, only as faithful as the situation allows.

 

I love my BF, he does alot of nice things for me, but I can't help but think he is doing it because he feels guilty. He told me the other day he still talks to this girl who was his friend for years b4 I met him. My GF tells me that he was with her alot for a long time, I asked him, and he said it was just to help her out(cause she has like 2 or 3 kids, and her husband had left her.) He said they Kissed a long time ago, before he met me and before she was married. He said the instant they Kissed he knew she was not for him, but he still talked to her all the time. Now he says he talks to her every couple months, even though I tell him how much it hurts that he would talk to someone he had feelings for, once he met me. He begged and begged for me to meet her, but I was not gonna meet some Girl that my BF once had feelings for, I am still mad at him for that.

 

Now he tells me that he will take her call, and he is worried because her Husband is starting to cheat on her. WTF? why sghould he even care. Since he told me about this girl Calling, I Stopped sleeping with him(it's hard to shoot him down everynight.) But he deserves it.

 

the other thing that drives me nuts is his love for his band, Sometimes it seems like he loves it more than me. He argues that it's not true because one time b4 a really big show, I was in trouble and he left practice and pissed everyone off, but he didn't care cause He was worried about me! That's bull****, cause if he really Cared he would quit that stupid band Like i have hinted at. My GF tells me I am gonna drive him away what do you all think??

[MelWell]

I am in a band, and i left my ex for more reasons than just one - first off, i didn't love him anymore, second off, he wanted me to quit my band.

 

not sure how serious he is about the band, but that's what i want to do - and anyone who isn't willing to support it is gonna get the boot.

 

you'll definitely shoo him away if you make him quit the band. and things with the other girl are a bit suspicious... if you found a used condom - why are you still with this guy??

[SoleMate]

Two choices:

 

1) Put up with being second best

 

2) Leave him, get your head straight, then look for a man who will treat you right (there are plenty if you look in the right places)

 

Don't even bother interrogating your current bf or trying to change him. Both are futile activities. Take it from me.

 

And before your next relationship, decide in advance whether you will accept a bf in a band. Some people have bad things to say about musicians as partners in a relationship. They do have lots more opportunity for casual sexual encounters than average, and lots of encouragement and role models in their fellow band members.

[relention]

Hey

 

I feel that its working two ways. Firstly hte used condom, thats a big issue, and what was his excuses? Although it could of been a friends??? maybe they just used his bed? It can happen after all. alot of guys dont like talking on phones, thats another thing, my boyfriend is the same and it pisses me off but theres feck all you can really do about it! I really dont see a problem when it comes to him and his old friend. People that used to go out were close and alot remain good friends as they were ONCE close. He is with you now, and NOT HER! He wants you to meet her etc, and I really think that you should as it would help you and maybe not worry or be so paranoid. The only concern I have is again the condom, it does sound abit fishy, but woouldnt a guy get rid of it quickly? you are really wrong to tell him to quit his band, some people have passions, and if you really love your boyfriend you should want him to enjoy himself and do well. Dont take what he loves doing so much away from him (again i can relate as my boyfriend is the same with music) I hope you get this sorted out but I really do think you are being unreasonable about his FRIEND.

 

Again get the condom situation sorted out

 

Good Luck

[wiki]

I was in a similar situation to you. And I realised I have to move on, ZIP up my feelings and emotions and deal with them - it's hard yet you need to.

 

learn to deal with the situation and your feelings and MOVE ON AND UP Don't lower your standards for anyone

 

Your more worthy of that, and do some soul searching and find out what you need and want. Even incoraprate the life you wish to lead.

[Mr Spock]

Bascially, what you are is a temporary vagina for him. A place to make his little deposits until he finds a girl that he REALLY cares for (hey, sorry, he's just not that into you) and then he'll dump you faster than a day old diaper. A woman he will have a REAL relationship with.

 

You deserver better, you deserve someone that will make you feel GOOD instead of horrible. This person is out there, but it's not him. I think that you're clinging to him, which is silly, you'll NEVER be a strong independant women that guys flock to if you allow them to treat you like sh*t.

 

Buck up, and move on. Stop calling him. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

[morrigan]

He sounds like a certified member of the Players' Guild. He also doesn't want to make the time to be with you. End it with him and save yourself a lot of heartache, and also the potential of receiving an STD from him. Make a clean break--don't contact him anymore.

 

As far as musicians, there are decent, regular guys among them, but a number of them take full advantage of the sex and drugs they are offered while on tour. And with many of the dedicated ones, I agree you are always going to be a second priority--their music comes first. They'll either be jamming, practicing, recording, promoting, performing locally, or on tour. They'll work when they're not busy with their band, and most of their money will go back into their music. They may love you, but they love their music as much. Accept it or don't date that kind of individual.

[Blondejab]

Thank you for all the Responses, it made me feel alot better tht you all think he is wrong. I told him last night that I worte here looking for advice, and he said "cool, Maybe you'll find what it is you need to find." WTF? who does he think he is? Does he mean i need help? We got into a fight last night about alot of things Namely that B he talks to. He told me it hurt him that I told him to stop talking to her, and that he doesn't Agree about withholding Sex as a form of punishment because she Called. He went off on me because I told him that I felt threatened by this stupid Girl who already has a Husband why does she need to talk to my MAN? He said that I shouldnt feel threatened, because all he talks to her about is that her Husband is the father of her childern and all that stuff...the Children that's another thingg that pisses me off. He is Godfather to a her Kids, (i really can't remembeer if she has 2 or 3.) He used to talk about Her Kids constantly. If I have to hear one more story about when the Kid was a baby I am gonna Flip out, I don't care if the Kid can walk he's not mine. So I told him I didn't care, now he doesn't talk about them THANK GOD. right?

 

For those of you Asking, he said the Used Condom was from when he"rubbed one out." as he puts it. I can vouch for this one because he uis a Disgusting Pervert who Plays withhimself at least once a day. and he uses condoms to to keep it less messy. it do0esn't effect our sex life for he has an insatiable Drive, but ui think it's disgusting, and it makes it worse he told me(i don't believe him cause I'm not that great looking) he does thinking about me, and him. I was mad when i wrote that yesterday So i didn't explain that one...

When he first moved in his house I found on the Floor this headband. the Day b4 when we were at the Place it was not there, the next day i tiried calling and Calling MY BF to chat, cause I was Bored and he never answered.He Finally Calls me back and said"he fell alseep." Well We go to his new Apartment and there is this head Band laying right in the Middle of his room. I asked him about it, and he casual glanced at it and then Said "never seen it b4." and then dropped it. I think that he had some girl over when He wasn't answering the phone, I told him IO thought that and he cried because he said he could Never cheat on me, He says that it happened to him and he would never do it to me bcause he loves me...I am thinking about going and seeing an old friend of mine...do u think I have the Right.

[morrigan]

Blondejab, do you really want this man and all the uneccessary drama in your life? This is one roller coaster I wouldn't get back on.

 

He's still got a torch for this married woman; with his music as another priority, that puts you third on his list of importance. Besides the fact that strange articles of clothing turn up on his floor (unless he's in a hairmetal band and wears headbands regularly!!)

 

Break up with him, and then find someone better.

[Soul Doubt]

I am Blonde Jab BoyFriend...She found this page because of me, I am the man she is talking about...Ill clear a few things up 1. I am holding no torch for my friend that Blonde is so worried about. I am her husbands friend for one things, Through out the course of their marriage, I have been a ear fro both of them. I told them both to get back together the first time they seperated. I was single when I did this...I had my oppurtunity I DECIDED i wasn't feeling it. I DECIDED that I want my own kids my own life. As for Blonde being a temopery Vagina I think you so elegantly pu it, did she mention I have asked her to marry me several times. \

 

2. I Am in a band(and I do love it, unless you've played in a band I don't expect you to understand), i was in a band when I met Blonde, I was upfront with her how important it was for me., she said that she understood. Then down the Line she says it's not good that I am in this band. Well I am not sure how to deal with this, and Now I know despite what you've said, that you don't want to be part of this...oh well I am sorry to hear that I guess you just would've been a bit more honest about it.

3. I didn't know where it came from, and when i found out I didn't tell you because you didn't want to know, but here goes. EFREE the guy who used to live in My house,, still had a key that worked for the first two weeks we were moving in...he cheats on his girl constantly and you know that...I'll leave it at that.

[savethedrama4allama]

Originally posted by Blondejab

and guys are all the same, only as faithful as the situation allows.

 

 

This is not true. This is taking responsibility away from men (where it belongs) and putting it on other women. Men are not life support systems for their junk, they have hearts and minds. There are plenty of men who don't cheat no matter what is available to them.

[Blondejab]

Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama

This is not true. This is taking responsibility away from men (where it belongs) and putting it on other women. Men are not life support systems for their junk, they have hearts and minds. There are plenty of men who don't cheat no matter what is available to them.

 

They are all the same, Soul Doubt is no different, I mean look at how Immature he is coming on here and saying that he is right and I am wrong..but I am used to it I am always wrong. He needs to grow up.

[HokeyReligions]

I have not read all of the responses -- only the first 5 or 6, so pardon if others have said the same thing. I got a totally different sense when I read your post.

 

Originally posted by Blondejab

So I don't know what to do...

My SO is becoming angry with me and Picking fights all the time.

It takes two to fight.

 

 

He never wants to talk on the phone, and God forbid if he gets Company when he is on the phone cause then he hangs ups, because he would rather hang with them then Talk to me.

Unless he has said that you come before all else, then yes -- I'd expect someone to end a phone call to talk to the people standing in front of him. I presume he knew other people and had friends before he met you.

 

 

I used to think he was cheating on me, cause of things I found in his room, and the Fact that I Found a Used condom in his waste Basket. We fought alot about his cheating(although he swaers that he never Did), but he is in a band, and Lots of girls like guys in bands, and guys are all the same, only as faithful as the situation allows.

 

Poor you, if you believe that last statement! If you do then I doubt if you will ever find contentment and confidence in a relationship. Men use condoms alone. NEAT men dispose of them when they are finished!

 

If he told you he didn't cheat on you, why didn't you believe him? Are the trust issues yours alone - or has he cheated on you in the past?

 

I love my BF, he does alot of nice things for me, but I can't help but think he is doing it because he feels guilty.

Yes, you CAN help thinking that anything he does for you is done out of guilt. It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues and no matter what anyone else says or does for you, those issues are YOURS to address.

 

He told me the other day he still talks to this girl who was his friend for years b4 I met him. My GF tells me that he was with her alot for a long time, I asked him, and he said it was just to help her out(cause she has like 2 or 3 kids, and her husband had left her.) He said they Kissed a long time ago, before he met me and before she was married. He said the instant they Kissed he knew she was not for him, but he still talked to her all the time. Now he says he talks to her every couple months, even though I tell him how much it hurts that he would talk to someone he had feelings for, once he met me. He begged and begged for me to meet her, but I was not gonna meet some Girl that my BF once had feelings for, I am still mad at him for that.

 

Refer to the self-esteem issues. BEFORE he met you. Key word here. Did you demand that he give up all friends from BEFORE he met you? So what if they kissed? It was BEFORE he met you and he has told you that nothing is between them now. Whatever your GF told you about him is a rumor. If you don't trust this guy, why are you with him? In his shoes I would not want to be with someone who questions every step I take, ESPECIALLY based on some second-party rumor. Cripe, he has been upfront with you about talking to this other girl every so often. He invited you to meet her -- If you want to be mad, fine -- but I don't think he deserves your anger.

 

Now he tells me that he will take her call, and he is worried because her Husband is starting to cheat on her. WTF? why sghould he even care. Since he told me about this girl Calling, I Stopped sleeping with him(it's hard to shoot him down everynight.) But he deserves it.

Why shouldn't he take her call? She's an old friend who needs some advice. She is married and he is respecting that boundary. She is his friend and that is why he cares. You had an opportunity to make her your friend too.

 

You stopped sleeping with him in order to manipulate him. That is such a childish thing to do.

 

the other thing that drives me nuts is his love for his band, Sometimes it seems like he loves it more than me. He argues that it's not true because one time b4 a really big show, I was in trouble and he left practice and pissed everyone off, but he didn't care cause He was worried about me! That's bull****, cause if he really Cared he would quit that stupid band Like i have hinted at.

 

OH MY GOD!! You do NOT own him!!!! After reading this last paragraph, I hope the poor guy bolts away from you. You have yourself on quite a pedestal and honey, that fall off of it is going to hurt like hell. You can soften the landing by climbing down now and growing up. Relationships involved TWO people. You sure sound like you don't give a rats behind about HIS feelings, HIS needs, HIS HAPPINESS! All you are interested in, is him pleasing you. That is how this sounds to me.

 

My GF tells me I am gonna drive him away what do you all think??

Yes. I think so. I hope so---for his sake.

[Soul Doubt]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

I have not read all of the responses -- only the first 5 or 6, so pardon if others have said the same thing. I got a totally different sense when I read your post.

 

It takes two to fight.

 

 

Unless he has said that you come before all else, then yes -- I'd expect someone to end a phone call to talk to the people standing in front of him. I presume he knew other people and had friends before he met you.

 

 

 

 

Poor you, if you believe that last statement! If you do then I doubt if you will ever find contentment and confidence in a relationship. Men use condoms alone. NEAT men dispose of them when they are finished!

 

If he told you he didn't cheat on you, why didn't you believe him? Are the trust issues yours alone - or has he cheated on you in the past?

 

 

Yes, you CAN help thinking that anything he does for you is done out of guilt. It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues and no matter what anyone else says or does for you, those issues are YOURS to address.

 

 

 

Refer to the self-esteem issues. BEFORE he met you. Key word here. Did you demand that he give up all friends from BEFORE he met you? So what if they kissed? It was BEFORE he met you and he has told you that nothing is between them now. Whatever your GF told you about him is a rumor. If you don't trust this guy, why are you with him? In his shoes I would not want to be with someone who questions every step I take, ESPECIALLY based on some second-party rumor. Cripe, he has been upfront with you about talking to this other girl every so often. He invited you to meet her -- If you want to be mad, fine -- but I don't think he deserves your anger.

 

Why shouldn't he take her call? She's an old friend who needs some advice. She is married and he is respecting that boundary. She is his friend and that is why he cares. You had an opportunity to make her your friend too.

 

You stopped sleeping with him in order to manipulate him. That is such a childish thing to do.

 

 

 

OH MY GOD!! You do NOT own him!!!! After reading this last paragraph, I hope the poor guy bolts away from you. You have yourself on quite a pedestal and honey, that fall off of it is going to hurt like hell. You can soften the landing by climbing down now and growing up. Relationships involved TWO people. You sure sound like you don't give a rats behind about HIS feelings, HIS needs, HIS HAPPINESS! All you are interested in, is him pleasing you. That is how this sounds to me.

 

Yes. I think so. I hope so---for his sake.

 

Hokey thank you for standing up for me, Cause no one else here did, who is that in your avatar?

 

Blonde, I tol;d Im not going anywhere unless you tell me to, and I want no one else but you, that's why i am with you, you know as well As I do that If i didn't want to be you, I'd be ghost.

[relention]

im with you on this one hokey. im quite surprised at some peoples responses though

[NatoPMT]

I was pretty shocked at this thread too.

 

Guys are all the same, only as faithful as the situation allows.

 

Blonde, this just isnt true. You will never find peace if you believe that every wrong done to you is done by every man. Its not ‘us & them’ – battle of the sexes. Each person is an individual and deserves to be treated as such without sweeping generalisations which only serve to damage yourself and are completely untrue. I have never ever been cheated on, do I now think that all men can be trusted? Opposite to you? No, I would only be with a man I can trust.

 

He argues that it's not true because one time b4 a really big show, I was in trouble and he left practice and pissed everyone off, but he didn't care cause He was worried about me! That's bull****, cause if he really Cared he would quit that stupid band Like i have hinted at

 

I don’t want to be disrespectful to you, but seriously Blonde, you are absolutely wrong in what you are saying. You should put some work into changing this attitude. He doesn’t have to do anything you say, and he shouldn’t have to prove his love for you by doing what you dictate. This isnt what love is about, its about finding someone you are compatible with and respecting them and loving who they are. Not finding someone you fancy and changing them to what you think they should be. He does something for you, and you dont believe he did it because he cares, what a kick in the teeth for him.

 

I Stopped sleeping with him(it's hard to shoot him down everynight.) But he deserves it.

 

Sex isnt a weapon you can use to get your own way, or should it be used as a punishment. Come on Blonde. If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to recognise that treating sex as anything other than what it actually is a dangerous, dangerous game to play. When you allow sex to happen, are you repaying him for his good behaviour? You are giving women a bad name here, it’s the opposite of prostitution, and if one woman is bad, we are all according to your thinking

 

He said that I shouldnt feel threatened, because all he talks to her about is that her Husband is the father of her childern and all that stuff...the Children that's another thingg that pisses me off. He is Godfather to a her Kids, (i really can't remembeer if she has 2 or 3.) He used to talk about Her Kids constantly. If I have to hear one more story about when the Kid was a baby I am gonna Flip out, I don't care if the Kid can walk he's not mine. So I told him I didn't care, now he doesn't talk about them THANK GOD. right?

 

I don’t need to reiterate what Hokey said.

 

I can vouch for this one because he uis a Disgusting Pervert who Plays withhimself at least once a day.

 

Do you really believe masturbation is for Disgusting Perverts? Or are you threatened of his sexual behaviour that doesn’t include you? No wonder hes knocking one out every day if you are withholding sex and he cant get you out of his head because he is attracted to you. But then you don’t believe that he really does find you attractive. This poor fella doesn’t stand a chance with you.

 

I am thinking about going and seeing an old friend of mine...do u think I have the Right

 

What do you mean by this comment? Do you mean an ex bf? You have no right whatsoever to do that. None. Not until you end this relationship, and quite frankly, if it does end I think you should be single to work out the right way to go about things before you put another poor boy through this.

 

They are all the same, Soul Doubt is no different, I mean look at how Immature he is coming on here and saying that he is right and I am wrong..but I am used to it I am always wrong. He needs to grow up.

 

You are wrong. However, I don’t believe he did say you were wrong in the way you mean, tit for tat, I believe he wanted to state his feelings for you and his reasons for the events that you are complaining about. I believe he has every right to answer to your accusations.

 

I would be suspicious of the condom & headband too, but if I didn’t get a satisfactory answer, or get to a point where we could agree I would leave him. I would do some soul searching and research about love, life and happiness, I don’t believe you should enter into a relationship with the type of opinions you are showing, unless you can find someone to agree with you. If you can find a man to agree with you, you may only make each other miserable.

 

There’s lots of people here that would be willing to talk to you if you post about what attitudes will help you and what will hinder you. BB

[LiLLilacGirl80]

if he really doesn't only wanna be with you, leave him! i dunno why he would try to defend the point that they were exes and still want to talk to her. you will find out sooner or later if she means anything much to him.

 

my ex, his ex brother-in-law, is friends with him. they are best friends. that totally ruined things for me and my ex and my trust in him. i couldn't stand the fact that his ex wife still had such good, sort of connections with him. that blew up my trust in him completely. if he wants to be that close to her, with her own brother, than it's best that i leave him alone. i know she's so pretty, he probably still loves her. if i was a guy i would never leave a beautiful woman like that, that's why i know he's not trustworthy.

 

if i hated my ex-husband, i wouldn't be talking to his sister.

[Soul Doubt]

This Is to Lilac and everyone else who didn't bother to read my girls post, but decided to past judgement on me anyhow. The woman my girl was speaking of is not an Ex of Mine...it s a girl whom i was friends with, we went to school together and are friends, I am godFather to her Childern(which in and of it's self is a big RELIGIOUS thing. I am not one to piss God off, so I wouldn't stand as Godfather to her sons, if I was f@#king her, or wanted to be with her. She is a MARRIED woman. And while yes her husband and her have had problems, I have been a constant reminder to both of them that they took Vowels, and they have a family that loves both of them. In Fact until he started to cheat, I looked at their family as one I would like my family(if she will ever marry me) to be.

 

If iw as after this girl, i wouldv'e been on that the second her husband walked out the door the first time, but instead, I went with him, to to remind him what he was walking away from IE 3 sons.

 

Now I told my girl when we first started Dating that My friend and I kissed once. Neither of us felt right about it, and neither of us wanted to ruin our friendship, because at the time of the kiss going down, both of us were in a place in life were a relationship would have been more destructive than anything else. And with this kiss there was no feeling, it was a kiss that neither of us put much stock in. We kissed decided to be friends instead, and moved on, and Frankly I would not have it any other way. After the kiss we grew close, almost like brother and sister(which I never had by the way) she met a guy, I spoke at their wedding I stood godfather to their Children. Her husband and i did lots of stuff together...we were friends, like one big happy Family, and now it's ruined because my girl is uptight about me talking to her...

 

So Like I said b4 and for all of you he just read this **** for gossip here it is, I love my girl, I will always love my girl, I have known temptation b4, But I iwill fall to no Whore, and unless my girl tells me she doesn't want to be with me, I am all hers.

[SoleMate]

OK, SoulDoubt, I understand your point. I do admire your straightforwardness in coming on LoveShack and doing your best to set the record straight. Can you address some of the specific issues that I found most troubling, i.e.:

 

* Picking fights

 

* Preferring other company to hers

 

* And that little detail of the used condom in your wastebasket?

 

Thanks.

[Soul Doubt]

Originally posted by SoleMate

OK, SoulDoubt, I understand your point. I do admire your straightforwardness in coming on LoveShack and doing your best to set the record straight. Can you address some of the specific issues that I found most troubling, i.e.:

 

* Picking fights

 

* Preferring other company to hers

 

* And that little detail of the used condom in your wastebasket?

 

Thanks.

not that it is anyones business but,

 

*picking fights??? She said I pick fights, and Ok I might, but it's not Plural it's just one Fight that I pick. And that has to do with my Family that wants this girl Around, and this girl who doesn't want to be around my Family. this cause a great deal of Heart ache, as I am sur you can understand. I am trying to be patient(spelling I know) with my girl, because I know she is not close with her family. And while we talk about having our own family(but she doesn't want to be married yet, just get started on the kids,but we are working on that too) I bring up that I need to know she wants to be a part of mine b4 I start a new one, because these people all of them are important to me. that's the Fight I pick.

 

*sigh this is a tough one, because I understand why she thinks that. But I am gonna go agaisnt my better judgement and say this...I do not prefer others company to my girls. this is how this fight goes. Blondjab tells me she has to go home because she has stuff to do all afternoon. I say OK. About an hour Later I get a Text message that says HI. Followed by a whatcha Doin? Can I Call? So I stopp what I am doing, which by the way is recording a song, Fixing up the Pad, anything I am doing I drop, and talk to her. but she doesn't want to talk about anything except what she is watching on TV. And If I talk to her for less than an Hour she gets mad, I can hear it he rvoice. Now if you were on the Phone(doesn't matter who your with) and someone comes to your door do you not get off the Phone and entertain your Guests? I mean i was always taught it was rude to gab on the Phone(especially if all your talking about is what the Nanny on NAnny 911 ias saying to the Children. )

 

My question is what happened to being busy all afternoon? I should also say it takes 45 minutes to get from my house to hers. I told her when we first started that I was not big on the Phone, I hate phones, i hate using them, I just totatly hate them, but I make an exception for her because she likes to gab on the phone.

 

* If you are a guy ull understand..but sometimes even when you are alone in bed you get the urge...So what a neater way to handle it then pull out a condom, Rub one off, throw the Ocndom away and drift off to la la land. I f i was cheating, She never would have found the Condom you know what I mean?

[SoleMate]

He...he...you and your girl made it our business when you posted here. Thanks for your clear and convincing answers (although I'm still having a hard time with the idea of a condom for masturbation and would love to hear some of our male frequent self-pleasurers comment on that plausibility of that). It does strike me that you gave reasonable, complete and prompt answers to my nosy questions, so I am guessing that you're probably fairly easy for your gf to talk to also. That's important.

 

So...not that you care what I think, but...now that we've heard from you both, I must confess that you sound like the more reasonable one. You're not the cheating, neglectful ogre that she portrayed. You're actually rather considerate and loyal (or you're shining me effectively). But it's clear that both of you have a lot of grief in this relationship. I think you might have put your finger on an important contributing cause when you mentioned her lack of self-love in another thread.

 

So, here is my easy plan to get your r/s in order:

 

* Insist that your gf meet with your godchild's mother and her husband (I know you tried, but this time you have to make it happen). The point is for them to get to know each other and reduce the "fear of the unknown" in your gf's mind. If your gf absolutely refuses, then I am afraid that you will have to choose between your gf and your godchild. It's a very cruel choice that she is putting in front of you

 

* Realize that you cannot be happy longterm with someone who tries repeatedly to separate you from your other important relationships, like your godchild, the child's mother, and your own FAMILY for goodness' sake. Let her know this

 

* Set some goals for your relationship - like building good interactions with each other's important people. Those people all around you can really be helpful in supporting and reinforcing your r/s with your gf, if you BOTH let them

 

* MOST IMPORTANT: Ask your gf to go for counseling and for a depression evaluation. Some of her behaviors are typical of depression

 

Just for the record, can you let us know what it is that ATTRACTS you about your gf? Because no offense, but I see a lot that would repel. So I'm guessing there are some powerful plusses there as well.

 

BTW - I'm with you on the "1 hour phone call to discuss/recap an idiot TV program". That would be a dealbreaker for me the first time it happened.

[Soul Doubt]

I can't Speak ffor the rest of the guys here about the Condom, but I did see someone say it b4 i did in the thread that started this all.

 

What attracks me to blondeJab? hmm this is an easy one. I could be shallow and say alot of things(which i will give me a second.) Like her blue eyes that seem to look right into me. they are light blue on the outside and get darker as tyou go towards the pupil.

 

On the Surface her body alone is neck snapping. And when we are out I know I am not alone in this belief. She has a body that Alot of women would strive for, as in Nice long smooth legs, hips that make my Groin Ache, and Ass that just goes on for Days, She has a nice little Flat belly, and beutiful Breasts.

But none(believe what you want) of that meant **** to me. i knew Blondjab not for her body but the kindness she was all showing people, especially her friends. She had compassion, and I dated som many that didn't . What also attracks me is that she comes froma bad Home life, and when we first started dating she spoke as if she could Overcome anything, and i was drwn to her strength, whic lately is non exsittent. She would let nothing get in the way of her being happy, but now...now the slightes thing makes her sad.(oh and you are right about Theropy. She wants to go, because she said that once a while back she was diagnosed as a Manic Depressive. ) She is still beutiful, and the Sex is jsut the best i ever had, I just want to work thru our Problems, because I think we can overcome them. I used to be like her, till I met her, and now it's like she lost all her passion because she gave it to me....