secondfailure Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You go along just trying ot figure things out... Then bam! Something happens.. STBXW called this morning and wanted to get her name off of the credit card. She is just so business like right now... Today is one of those days where I feel like I cant function...... Maybe I should not answer her calls right now. But that wont solve the problem... As ;long as she is calling about business, I guess I need to man up and deal with it... I know this battle will be long and hard but I must get up off the canvas and keep fighting.... Everyone please trell me I will be okay becaseu right now I dont know how I am going to make it.... Link to post Share on other sites
littlejaz Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 I know just how you feel. You go along for days even weeks doing just fine, then all of a sudden wham you are right back in the dumps. Sometimes it happens to me for no reason at all. I have been lucky with NC, but it still hits me some days. But rest assured it does get better. Those days get fewer and farther apart. Try to communicate by texting or email. I think it is easier than hearing their voice. Keep your answers short and to the point. Take care of yourself. Do things for you. Have some fun, get a hobby. Don't sit around waiting for the bad days to end. Keeping yourself otherwise occupied, it helps ward off the bad days. Lastly, keep posting here. There are some great people here with some excellent advise. Just reading others' posts has helped me a great deal. Good luck! Stay strong! You will get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Moniq Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You will be ok. My STBXH is in town and he passed by last night to see the kids. Last time he was here I cried to him, felt depressed and couldn't function. He was cold, just business, like your wife. I could not wait for him to leave.. Last night I was so cool, calm and collected. I didn't even look at him much. He spoke to me and I just didn't care to listen to him.... I only pretended. I changed so much since last time he was here that I surprised myself. I didn't shed a tear, even after he left. He spent a good hour and half at my house with the kids. You will one day see your wife and not feel the same. Something, someday will change and that's when you'll notice you are moving on. I still have crappy days but the punch in the gut feeling Is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author secondfailure Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 LJ..Thank you. I just want the pain to end but I know it is a process. Istill wrestle with guilt asking could I have done more or said something nice instead of being mean and disrespectful... I know days will get better. I have been through this before.. sigh... Link to post Share on other sites
Author secondfailure Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 Thank you Moniq. Then I work at home alot so just being in a house we once shared can be hell at times. But I guess becasue we dont have any kids, once I move forward I will be in a lot better shape then people who have kids and must co-exisits.. Link to post Share on other sites
Moniq Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 I know the feeling about being in a home you once shared. I moved back to Miami to the house that we had first bought when we were stationed here. As I was setting up house I saw the holes in the wall from where we had picture frames, shelves etc and I would just cry because we put all that up together. This whole house has OUR memories. But I read that the best thing to do is to change it up. Start with one room, my case the bathroom, im going to make it really girly and make it mine. I still haven't done it but that is my plan. Make room for you. Change things and maybe that would make you feel better, even changing the color of the wall. Just a thought. Feel better. My week is long since my ex will be in town for a few days and he'll be over my house again tonight. Yay me. But I got this!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author secondfailure Posted September 18, 2013 Author Share Posted September 18, 2013 I think about my dad who is having surgery tomorrow to remove a cancerous spot on his lungs and I say to myself I cold be him dealing with that instead of dealing with heartbreak from the ending of amarriage. Can anyone tell me how to stop feeling guilty????? Can everyone please pray for my dad.. This to shall pass.... Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 secondfailure- I pray for your dad. And yes, this too shall pass. As someone else said in a different thread to you, don't beat yourself up. The agony of your situation is finite, even though you can't see that yet. Learn from the past, don't dwell on it to torture yourself. Ultimately, if you see yourself as a good person, continue to do good things. Whether or not your STBXW sees that or not is unimportant. Find out who YOU are. I went through the whole agonizing mill that you went through, I'm guessing. In the process of being alone, I learned a lot about myself. I changed. It was like walking through fire-- but like anything that goes through fire, it's purified. The imperfections are burnt off. Get a grip on your own mind and soul, look within, and gather strength from different things that are separate from the idea of marriage. I too never fathomed myself being divorced. It was alien, horrible, repulsive to my way of thinking. But it happened. And oddly enough, I'm a restored man now. It will happen to you too, if you work through the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
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