JoelBarish Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Yeah...I know.. It's just I blocked him once already and then he texted me and bothered me about me blocking him, so I unblocked him and everything was fine up until now... I came home from the gym and felt fantastic... Until I went onto my blog... He began reposting a majority of all my posts and liking them, etc... I'm so upset right now. And I'm hurt on top of that. My dad tried consoling me..he said "well as far as I see it, he's still a boy. He's no man" Which helped, but still...I'm just tired. Im tired of him already. Can you disable comments on your blog? The NC has to start somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 Can you disable comments on your blog? The NC has to start somewhere. Yeah, I just did some research on the blog I go on. If I "ignore" him, he won't be able to see anything I post (unless he actually goes onto my blog page), and I won't get any notifications or messages from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Yeah, I just did some research on the blog I go on. If I "ignore" him, he won't be able to see anything I post (unless he actually goes onto my blog page), and I won't get any notifications or messages from him. But he could still post anonymously? Or by creating a new account? I just know all this second hand contact can't be good for your healing. My mother told me the other day that she saw my ex driving on the other side of town. I immediately started wondering "why is she in that part of town? Is she seeing someone in that area?" So you see even second-hand contact can mess with your mind... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 But he could still post anonymously? Or by creating a new account? I just know all this second hand contact can't be good for your healing. My mother told me the other day that she saw my ex driving on the other side of town. I immediately started wondering "why is she in that part of town? Is she seeing someone in that area?" So you see even second-hand contact can mess with your mind... No, he wouldn't even be able to post anonymously anymore...and I don't think he'd go that far to creating a new account...he has a new "Girlfriend" already...so.. I honestly think he still follows me and reblogs what I post, just to make me feel like this. Purposely. And he posts their conversations, just so he makes sure I see them. I don't give any attention to them, and ignore them best i can without making a reaction, but...yeah I've blocked him..if he bothers me about it..I'm not even going to reply to him. I'm sorry your mom told you this...it makes you think all sorts of crazy thoughts huh? Ask your mom to refrain from giving you any information on your ex...tell everyone you know...it'll help you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Wow I haven't been on here in a couple of days x/ (school mostly...) but! I do feel quite better as the days go by (: I still fluctuate between sadness and anger, and a part of me still wants to tell him everything on my mind and how I feel, but for the most part I've been feeling better each day. I was able to go to a party my best friend was having yesterday..I haven't had that much fun in a long time haha so it was nice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Wow I haven't been on here in a couple of days x/ (school mostly...) but! I do feel quite better as the days go by (: I still fluctuate between sadness and anger, and a part of me still wants to tell him everything on my mind and how I feel, but for the most part I've been feeling better each day. I was able to go to a party my best friend was having yesterday..I haven't had that much fun in a long time haha so it was nice. So glad to hear that you are feeling better and enjoyed the party! As for the feelings, they will pass. Just push through them, post here, and stay busy. You're doing great! M. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 So glad to hear that you are feeling better and enjoyed the party! As for the feelings, they will pass. Just push through them, post here, and stay busy. You're doing great! M. Thank you M. I hope all is well for you. I'm trying my best...when I get sad or upset, LS is my outlet, trying to help people and give them advice helps me feel better..I've also been going to the gym and I try and remind myself that I'm going to meet a handsome, respectful, loving man in the future.. It's difficult..but I'm trying. It probably didn't help that I drank liquor at this party too.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Alcohol is definitely a big no no! I think the reason why getting over a relationship is so difficult in today's day in age is that a lot of people's identity becomes based on the person they are with. and without them, they lose that identity. When I was still going to my counselor last semester, she said that this is around the age where we figure out who we are. I'd say she was spot on with that. A lot of people here say that you need to be 100% indifferent to be "over" them. but I don't think you need to be "over them" to have moved on. I think you've basically moved on. Your worst days are obviously behind you, and just because you miss the relationship doesn't mean you aren't moving in the right direction. I don't think you feel this way, but I figured I'd reassure you. I'd like to see how other people can have a BU with a significant other and stay single for a significant amount of time. I'd love to get inside their head and know how they think/feel. I've seen couples in the past all around me get together and break up. It seems like neither person is affected emotionally though. Relationships are like an addiction to a drug, and once that drug is gone, we need the high again. I've actually read that it affects a similar part of the brain lol. Keep doing your thing RR! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 Alcohol is definitely a big no no! I think the reason why getting over a relationship is so difficult in today's day in age is that a lot of people's identity becomes based on the person they are with. and without them, they lose that identity. When I was still going to my counselor last semester, she said that this is around the age where we figure out who we are. I'd say she was spot on with that. A lot of people here say that you need to be 100% indifferent to be "over" them. but I don't think you need to be "over them" to have moved on. I think you've basically moved on. Your worst days are obviously behind you, and just because you miss the relationship doesn't mean you aren't moving in the right direction. I don't think you feel this way, but I figured I'd reassure you. I'd like to see how other people can have a BU with a significant other and stay single for a significant amount of time. I'd love to get inside their head and know how they think/feel. I've seen couples in the past all around me get together and break up. It seems like neither person is affected emotionally though. Relationships are like an addiction to a drug, and once that drug is gone, we need the high again. I've actually read that it affects a similar part of the brain lol. Keep doing your thing RR! Thanks NA ((: it's nice to see you again! Haha And what you say has so much truth to it...I see it everyday as you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 All I can say is, is that I wish I was as far along as you are! I know it still must be hard, but you really seem to be coping well, despite your Ex's antics! Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Wow I haven't been on here in a couple of days x/ (school mostly...) but! I do feel quite better as the days go by (: I still fluctuate between sadness and anger, and a part of me still wants to tell him everything on my mind and how I feel, but for the most part I've been feeling better each day. I was able to go to a party my best friend was having yesterday..I haven't had that much fun in a long time haha so it was nice. You are doing really well and that is great! I certainly don't want to be stuck in break up limbo forever. It's good to see you getting out of it and moving on with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 You are doing really well and that is great! I certainly don't want to be stuck in break up limbo forever. It's good to see you getting out of it and moving on with your life. Thanks J ((: thanks for the support. I've been feeling pretty great recently haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay so... My ex (the first one, the reason I came to LS in the first place, my first love, etc) were cool with each other now and talk occasionally, and the past two days we've been talking and he wants to do FWB with me... When he messaged me this...I laughed...like seriously? How about no. I'm cool with being friends with him and being cordial and all, but Fwb? Nope. Not uh. Doesn't work that way. I asked him why, and he was telling me about how he thinks it's the better option for himself instead of relationships because there's no stress and a whole lot more freedom.. And in my mind I'm like "didn't he recently break up with the girl he practically left me for?" yeah...idk this just spells disaster for me. Thoughts anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay so... My ex (the first one, the reason I came to LS in the first place, my first love, etc) were cool with each other now and talk occasionally, and the past two days we've been talking and he wants to do FWB with me... When he messaged me this...I laughed...like seriously? How about no. I'm cool with being friends with him and being cordial and all, but Fwb? Nope. Not uh. Doesn't work that way. I asked him why, and he was telling me about how he thinks it's the better option for himself instead of relationships because there's no stress and a whole lot more freedom.. And in my mind I'm like "didn't he recently break up with the girl he practically left me for?" yeah...idk this just spells disaster for me. Thoughts anyone? It would never work. There is too much emotional history. You're better off finding someone new without having to deal with the past while trying to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 It would never work. There is too much emotional history. You're better off finding someone new without having to deal with the past while trying to move on. Yeah true. It's already been a year since we've broken up, but I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't even like FWB anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I like your resolve! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Yeah true. It's already been a year since we've broken up, but I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't even like FWB anyway. I prefer real relationships with emotional involvement. Problem is, I must be like your ex because I seem really bad at actual relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I've always preferred relationship ships with emotional involvement and I realize FWB is a trend and has been, I could just never bring myself to do it...because I know I'd catch some feelings, and end up hurt in the end...especially if it was with someone I had a history with.. I dunno I talked to him some more about it yesterday and told him I couldn't because of the fact we have a history together, and he was saying it would be easier that way because it with someone you actually know as opposed to someone new and random... And I'm like...yeah true, but at the same time there were feelings and past emotions with one another...I'd feel like I'd catch feelings again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I also can't shake the feeling he's doing this not just because he doesn't want a committed relationship, but also to get over the girl he just left a couple months ago. While we were together a little over a year, I think they only lasted 7/8 months together...half the time we did, but still... A mutual friend had told me during the summer and I was shocked.. Asked this friend what happened and why...he didn't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I also told him I'm fine with being friends and cordial with one another because we were each others first loves, but having sex with one another just because and without commitment or an emotional bond..I can't do it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I also told him I'm fine with being friends and cordial with one another because we were each others first loves, but having sex with one another just because and without commitment or an emotional bond..I can't do it. Why did they have to do this to us???? Grr Casual relationships don't work for me because I want more than that! Emotional relationships don't work because I get my heart broken. So I guess I won't be having sex for a very long time since I don't want to risk getting hurt and I am very picky about dating since I've been hurt so much. I guess I will have to be a sexual camel from now on and learn to do without during long dry spells... I am just frustrated today. Hope you're doing well 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 Why did they have to do this to us???? Grr Casual relationships don't work for me because I want more than that! Emotional relationships don't work because I get my heart broken. So I guess I won't be having sex for a very long time since I don't want to risk getting hurt and I am very picky about dating since I've been hurt so much. I guess I will have to be a sexual camel from now on and learn to do without during long dry spells... I am just frustrated today. Hope you're doing well exactly! haha I feel the same way. Like I want that emotional bond and connection..not just sex...I mean...thats boring and it can become hurtful. And as for actual committed relationships as you can become hurt at least you have that emotional bond and security as opposed to a casual relationship where its just sex.. I know how you feel though because I'm the same way...I'm very picky when it comes to choosing a relationship partner and I also don't like the risk of getting hurt...Grr. frustration as it's finest, but don't worry J; you'll find the one you're suppose to be with in time for now just enjoy your single life and have fun! haha As for me....ugh, I also feel frustrated...A part of me didn't want to tell my ex no to FWB, but yet at the same time a part of me was telling me to say NO! and I went with that side...I guess it's just the right thing to do. For myself. I mean I loved this guy...and of course I'm still going to have some type of feelings towards him because of the fact he was my first love, so resorting to FWB with him...is just a downgrade, and kind of a shame because of what we used to have..I'd rather live having the good memories we spent together as a couple rather then have the memories of us just being FWB. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 My mother has a saying (out of many) that applies to this such proposition: "Either you're an idiot or you think I'm an idiot. Which one is it?" jk. Joke aside, you are in a great place and that is so good to see. Ah, the satisfaction of refusal. Good job, strong girl! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 If its not too alliterative to say... Rice, you rock!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 If its not too alliterative to say... Rice, you rock!!!! Ahaha thanks Anya! You're awesome (: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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