Such thing as over-respect?

[Tamin]

I've been getting reacquainted with a child-hood crush and there's a mutual attraction. He flirted with me in the beginning but the more we've talked, we've had a spiritual connection and a nice friendship growing.

 

Every now and then, (when he's been drinking) he'll flirt again and say stuff like "one day you're not gonna catch me on a good day when I'm being a gentleman". And I just laugh it off.

 

However, when I flirt (not the same day that he has) or make "suggestive" comments, he doesn't respond. In fact, I sent a text message hinting that I have nice pics to share (just to see what he would say) and I haven't heard from him in a week. This is not the first time this has happened.

 

Is it possible that he has too much respect for me? We both came from a religious background and I feel like when he's with me, he's not the same as he is with girls on the street.

[sunrise24]

There's no such thing as too much respect.

 

Every now and then, (when he's been drinking) he'll flirt again and say stuff like "one day you're not gonna catch me on a good day when I'm being a gentleman".

I know this very well; the last woman I was in love with flirted with me extensively, but only when she drank. Otherwise, there was virtually no reciprocity from her.

Alcohol has interesting ways of modifying behavior to make people appear to be somebody they're not.

 

When you can flirt with each other (it's a two-way street) without alcohol or excessive stress/distractions, you'll know it's authentic.

 

However, when I flirt (not the same day that he has) or make "suggestive" comments, he doesn't respond. In fact, I sent a text message hinting that I have nice pics to share (just to see what he would say) and I haven't heard from him in a week. This is not the first time this has happened.

... I feel like when he's with me, he's not the same as he is with girls on the street.

Behavior like this typically points to ego-driven games; proceed with some vigilance, as this relationship is looking dangerously one-sided.

 

 

Let us know if you have any further questions.

Edited September 21, 2013 by sunrise24

[Tamin]

Thanks for your insight! We have spoken since then and he was frank this time. He said that I'm not in the same class as the girls he's messed with or usually messes with. He said that I'm a queen and that he can't treat me like one of these b*tches on the street and that he refuses to do me wrong. He wants me to think long and hard about being with him because although he has progressed, he's not done changing around his lifestyle.

 

While that's great, it's unfortunate that he's not ready to be with me. We'll be friends for now because we enjoy each others company a great deal.