loveofhorses1970 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Day 1 starting tomorrow for me. I had an outpatient surgery today. I hadn't deleted his cell number from my phone. My friend whom drove me to and from the surgical center sent out two texts to all my contacts as an update. He was included in both texts. No response. That cements it for me ...this is over. I still wake up thinking about him. I still go to sleep thinking about him. I still find myself looking at my cell for texts, missed calls, and checking Facebook for updates. All this has to stop. It isn't helpful for anyone, especially for me. I think the scariest part of NC is "will he/she forget me"? I don't think anyone every truly forgets someone when they had a relationship with them. But many men seem to project a confident exterior that certainly makes a woman think otherwise. Thoughts seem to pop up at anytime, for no particular reason. My hope is I can begin to channel those thoughts into prayer for his peace and release, as well as peace and release for myself. So, here's to tomorrow...Day 1 NC...and praying for the strength for sticking with it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoelBarish Posted October 10, 2013 Author Share Posted October 10, 2013 I'm not sure how many days of NC it is for me now. I haven't texted her, spoke to her, snooped on her or reached out to her in any way for 22 days. However, last Friday night I saw her in a restaurant (she wasn't alone) and she turned around and walked out once she saw me without anything being said between us. So does that count as contact? If so then I am on day 6 (again). I still check my phone but not nearly as much as I used to. It used to be my #1 priority to look at it if I had been away from my phone for any length of time. But now I'm starting to realize there isn't going to be any texts from her and checking my phone has become less of a priority. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveofhorses1970 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Joel, I don't think her walking into a restaurant where you were at originally breaks NC. It probably feels like it though because it stirs up feelings/anxieties. <3 stand strong <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoelBarish Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Joel, I don't think her walking into a restaurant where you were at originally breaks NC. It probably feels like it though because it stirs up feelings/anxieties. <3 stand strong <3 Yeah it was unbelievably horrible. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I wouldn't consider it breaking NC either except that it feels just as awful. Link to post Share on other sites
maturityassets Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 2 months.... Would have been over 5 if I didn't break it for some lame excuse two months ago... I'm only human:o 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AnnaAnna Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Day 1 starting tomorrow for me. I had an outpatient surgery today. I hadn't deleted his cell number from my phone. My friend whom drove me to and from the surgical center sent out two texts to all my contacts as an update. He was included in both texts. No response. That cements it for me ...this is over. I still wake up thinking about him. I still go to sleep thinking about him. I still find myself looking at my cell for texts, missed calls, and checking Facebook for updates. All this has to stop. It isn't helpful for anyone, especially for me. I think the scariest part of NC is "will he/she forget me"? I don't think anyone every truly forgets someone when they had a relationship with them. But many men seem to project a confident exterior that certainly makes a woman think otherwise. Thoughts seem to pop up at anytime, for no particular reason. My hope is I can begin to channel those thoughts into prayer for his peace and release, as well as peace and release for myself. So, here's to tomorrow...Day 1 NC...and praying for the strength for sticking with it I hope you feel better! Stay strong, first week will be the hardest. Make sure you have people around you all the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveofhorses1970 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I can only imagine how badly that feels. I hope it passes soon for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnnaAnna Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 13 days today. Seems like forever! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sealyons Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 13 days today. Seems like forever! ex and i don't have communication but I do have communication with a common friend (closer to ex, considered as "ex's sister), just talking about stuff. ex is sometimes brought in but i just dished it out and pretend i didnt see/hear it. is this considered NC? Link to post Share on other sites
loveofhorses1970 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Not sure if that is considered breaking NC or not. I have a friend that tells me things about my ex. I mentioned it to my "mentor" friend and she said "tell her that if she loves you, she won't discuss him with you". She's right. It's not an intentional hurtful thing, but it plants thoughts in my head. Link to post Share on other sites
LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Starting over with NC again today. The longest we have been able to go so far has been 5 days. I just wish we could get to a point where there weren't financial things that needed to be discussed. I guess when all the dust settles the NC will be initiated. I also guess it's not realistic to think I can do NC until then. Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforbalance Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Day 34 today. In many ways I have moved on, but the last few days have been rough. I think it is because I've physically seen her in the last few days, as we work in the same place and I have had to be in the room she works in several times. It is so much easier when you don't see or communicate with them at all. I haven't communicated in any way for these 34 days, but have seen her 2 or 3 times, and that is a setback in itself. As for the advice in these forums, I completely agree, GO NO CONTACT ASAP!!! I wouldn't be nearly as far as I have come without it. Do whatever you have to do to stay NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Marine0311 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 about 120 days no contact and it feels weird. went through a very depressed stage the first week until i found out she was dating someone new. it then turned to anger and hate for her for a few weeks. at 120 something days i still love her, but i feel as if we ever met each other again wed be like strangers. ive accepted the relationship is over for good and i can say i feel much better not hanging on to false hope shell come back. still think of her everyday, but more in the sense that my whole relationship must have been a dream and all i have are these faint memories that fade more and more everyday. i think my memories of her are a sign im really moving on. another thing no contact has done for me is really help me evaluate myself and the relationship without intense feelings making my judgement biased. i can clearly see the reason for the breakup how i pushed her with jealousy and being controlling. i also am starting to get a taste of my old self back, the man i was proud to be, but let a girl change me. all you guys struggling, youll be fine. i am doing fine. just stay no contact and youll soon start to look at your relationship from a different view and realize maybe it wasnt all you thought it was. good luck everyone Link to post Share on other sites
gothicrose Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Well I've been acting crazy so this is only day 2 of nc despite the fact he finished with me back in may...although he was kind of messing me around quite a lot and I was prolonging the contact. AND this nc only came about because he had to finally tell me he wants nothing more to do with me....ever. Ah well, lesson learned and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
fuglinnfonix Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 We'll it's been 7 months NC on my behalf... that is..I have never initiated contact with her..in any way....really proud of it and I can hold my head high......she has though called my twice, texted me and sent me facebook messages and the last time it was around mid july. Then I said to her she was not going to step over my boundaries - she flipped. I don't care...she handed me the wedding ring....so I'm moving on and ignoring her...and something tells me she is not liking it...though I'm not sure. I saw that she viewed my profile page on linkedin one month ago. NC works. (Not that I'm hoping to get her back....but it makes me feel good knowing that I set her some strict boundaries...showing her that I'm moving on and being independent...getting my life back on track....and that kind of let's me get the upper-hand...give's me self-confidence and makes me feel good about myself.......if you get my drift....because we all wan't what we can't get ..right? Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 121 since Break up 98 since Moving out 88 since breadcrumbs email Received ("I love you and wish for you only the best. And safe travels!") 83 No Contact - since replying to breadcrumbs message ("I feel I never truly knew you, what I do know now I want nothing to do with, don't know what we were trying to do all those months, relieved to be away from you + your family, r/s was at best sham at worse nasty nightmare so ffff off, and forget about me and good luck with your life you ffffer") Yup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 edit: double clicked, double posted. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 You know, I realized days ago that I had stopped counting and had forgotten to count and didn't really care enough to count. For me, somehow, there is a way in which my ex and everything that transpired between him and I is truly in the past and will never be resurrected again. There is no point in counting, because it would only (for me, right now, this is NOT to say that those who still need to should stop, I needed to count for quite awhile and that is perfectly okay) for me, prolong the connection to the past that I need to now sever. I think there is a milestone that is beautiful, when you realize that you have forgotten to count the last several days and you really don't care to. I hope all of you reach that point as soon as possible for each of you! Link to post Share on other sites
greenfairie Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Five months to be exact. He sent me a message less than two months ago, I didn't reply. FELT SOOOO DAMN GOOD!!!!! Seriously…. life transforming, i got a major perspective shift that I needed.. I LOVE NC!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greenfairie Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 When I first started doing the NC thing, I counted every single day. I mean, every damn day. I'd be like Yay! Day 1! Day 17! Finally day 43! I think I seriously stopped around 40-60 days…. I haven't counted so now I just count the months by fingers I'll keep doing that til I lose all fingers and toes haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Still-I-Rise Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Day 12 and for the first time today I realized just why people suggest NC. I was going out of my mind because my husband enjoys hurting me and the children and I was still having trouble accepting just how bad a person he'd become. (He kept telling me he was not a good guy and that it was best he was out of our lives.) I did not believe him but he showed me himself again on November 1st and from looking back I guess it was what I needed to catapult me into a successful period of NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoelBarish Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 Day 1 Relapses happen I guess. At least I am no longer in pain. I think once you get past the painful part of the breakup and time goes by and if you see your ex again you might have more perspective and you can more easily see the flaws in the person as well as in the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Angry bird Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Ugh, I'm back...Day 2. This time accepting things as they are...not fighting it or wanting to change him/it. I need to really heal, without the fairy tale of reuniting and some day being together. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTooWell Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 32 days NC. No lurking social media or anything. 29 days since I've had his number blocked. 20 days since he called me from a friends phone on my birthday (hung up without talking to him, but still) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
moki Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Almost two months (: And I'm feeling happy most of the time hehe 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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