turnera Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 The good thing about a baby/toddler is that he/she doesn't really need any space yet. So you have a few years before you need to worry about a playroom or a yard. Heck, my DD23's favorite playroom until she was about 3 was on the floor, in the kitchen, playing with all the plastic storage containers. Loved those things! Take a little toy, put it in a bowl and snap the lid on, and watch the kid shake it, roll it, try to get the lid off to get to the toy...hours of fun, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
PerfectStorm Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I don't know what the question is but comparing your "stats" to his. Your girlfriends is NUTS and needs to kick rocks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 I am glad to hear you are taking your time to get married. It sounds like you found a really good woman. I know its hard to think about the xW and look back at the past but its also healthy to see how you have pulled yourself back up. You should be proud. Your life is moving in a great direction and now your about to have the joy of a child in your life. Its a wonderful experience. Good for you Clay Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 It is good to know some people know they deserve better when treated the way the OP was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 14, 2014 Author Share Posted August 14, 2014 so this morning i got a rather nasty email from the X She stated how the hell did my Gf get pregnant so fast i must have been seeing her during our marriage and that's the reason why I didn't wanted to work on us because I was cheating to and her affair was my exit out.She told me I should be ashamed of myself for leaving her homeless and broke putting all the blame on her for destroying this marriage while I was running around doing the same thing no telling how long my affair was going on.She ended her email by saying BTW hope your baster child dies before she give birth you doesn't deserve to be happy not after all the pain you put me through here's to hoping that bitch falls down some stairs. I guess hearing the news that i'm expecting a child and moving on made her start making up things so she could see it her way and yes I was seeing my girlfriend before my divorce was final but our marriage was already over at the time.my first reaction was to call her up and tear her apart but decide I wasn't going let her mind games get to me Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I wouldn't take it to seriously. Sounds like she still is hurting from her mistakes. Some people you will never be able to reason with or have a logical conversation with. My xW is one of those people. I am not sure I would respond but if you do I would just point out the facts. Her cheating is what ended your marriage. Had she not cheated you would still be married. She made her choice and it resulted in you having to make yours. I would wish her a better future and recommend she go into counseling. If your friends with her parents to I might share the email with them so maybe they can help her. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 so this morning i got a rather nasty email from the X She stated how the hell did my Gf get pregnant so fast i must have been seeing her during our marriage and that's the reason why I didn't wanted to work on us because I was cheating to and her affair was my exit out.She told me I should be ashamed of myself for leaving her homeless and broke putting all the blame on her for destroying this marriage while I was running around doing the same thing no telling how long my affair was going on.She ended her email by saying BTW hope your baster child dies before she give birth you doesn't deserve to be happy not after all the pain you put me through here's to hoping that bitch falls down some stairs. I guess hearing the news that i'm expecting a child and moving on made her start making up things so she could see it her way and yes I was seeing my girlfriend before my divorce was final but our marriage was already over at the time.my first reaction was to call her up and tear her apart but decide I wasn't going let her mind games get to me i would take that as victory... cheers to your new life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 I wouldn't take it to seriously. Sounds like she still is hurting from her mistakes. Some people you will never be able to reason with or have a logical conversation with. My xW is one of those people. I am not sure I would respond but if you do I would just point out the facts. Her cheating is what ended your marriage. Had she not cheated you would still be married. She made her choice and it resulted in you having to make yours. I would wish her a better future and recommend she go into counseling. If your friends with her parents to I might share the email with them so maybe they can help her. Clay She's probably hurting because she sees moving forward in life making a new start and find peace without her. Since our divorce I've decided no contact and it's going to stay that way. I'm not going to play at her level i know truth not once did i stray in our marriage and deep down she knows it.telling her parents would be a waste of time she probably got them seeing things her way so waste my energy.I hope one day she finds it in herself to seek help because she needs it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 i would take that as victory... cheers to your new life. thanks atreides :D:D:D:D:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I am really glad to hear your not going to contact her. I personally wouldn't either. I don't really have much of a choice with my xW. We have kids together. Sadly she is still just as bad as she was when we were married. Having a child is a wonderful experience and I would not let anything take away from that. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye2 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Since our divorce I've decided no contact and it's going to stay that way. I'm not going to play at her level i know truth not once did i stray in our marriage and deep down she knows it. Telling her parents would be a waste of time she probably got them seeing things her way so waste my energy. Your ex-wife and her mother are going to think what they what to think and there’s nothing you can do about it. If your life goes to $hit no one wants to think that their own actions caused it. It’s much better to have a villain. No matter how many facts you present to them you will be the bad guy because they need one. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Would it be too heartless to send her a birth announcement with a family picture attached? Guess I already know the answer. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Would it be too heartless to send her a birth announcement with a family picture attached? Guess I already know the answer. Sure would be tempting. It'd also be tempting to send that foul little email to her friends and family. But I'd imagine that either one would be equally unproductive. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 so this morning i got a rather nasty email from the X She stated how the hell did my Gf get pregnant so fast i must have been seeing her during our marriage and that's the reason why I didn't wanted to work on us because I was cheating to and her affair was my exit out.She told me I should be ashamed of myself for leaving her homeless and broke putting all the blame on her for destroying this marriage while I was running around doing the same thing no telling how long my affair was going on.She ended her email by saying BTW hope your baster child dies before she give birth you doesn't deserve to be happy not after all the pain you put me through here's to hoping that bitch falls down some stairs. I guess hearing the news that i'm expecting a child and moving on made her start making up things so she could see it her way and yes I was seeing my girlfriend before my divorce was final but our marriage was already over at the time.my first reaction was to call her up and tear her apart but decide I wasn't going let her mind games get to me Wow! What a sick lady! There's no fixing that. She has a lot of nerve! There would absolutely be no point talking to her. Ignore her completely. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Lol'ing about caddish wayward people believing that every other person on this planet has the same broken moral views like themselves. And if she really believes you've had an affair, she's going to tear herself to pieces. Looking forward for more nasty e-mails. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 ah, well it sucks.... it happened to my best friend. His wife cheated on him 3 times before he finally gave her up. The first was with his best friend of 12 years. He forgave her but not his best friend. It happens alot, it seems women cheat wit those in the circles of people they know rather than outside the known circle of people. You are not alone and there are a lot of great people on here who have been there as the betrayed spouse and the opposite whom have been the exact same as your wife. Your best friend should have been in my opinion the fail safe to stop something like that, that is why they are our wing man. I think women who love us, also love the things we love when it comes to those closest to us which likely share the most of us in life such as a best friend. I think that may be the hardest for you having been his best friend for so long. Sometimes we also do not see that our best friends are our worst enemy, such as the start out as such but something untold to us sets off jealousy and rage and starts the clock for something like what he did to you. I have seen it unfortunately As for your wife, that is your relationship to deal with, she strayed and betrayed.... if you do not have much together such as kids and assets, it is easier logically and legally to leave but your heart will have to catch up to your mind on that one. Not only women. Not only women. It's some kind of weird dynamic and effed up mindset that's for sure, but belielve me - I know a man with this sickness. He even explained it as his "propinquity" problem. Go figure. Look it up in Wikipedia. There are actually psychological theories based on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Would it be too heartless to send her a birth announcement with a family picture attached? Guess I already know the answer. it wouldn't be heartless at all if i were to send her birth announcement letting her know hey look! this could have been us,but i'm not in the business of payback even if she deserves it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Wow! What a sick lady! There's no fixing that. She has a lot of nerve! There would absolutely be no point talking to her. Ignore her completely. She is sick and ignoring is the best thing for me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Lol'ing about caddish wayward people believing that every other person on this planet has the same broken moral views like themselves. And if she really believes you've had an affair, she's going to tear herself to pieces. Looking forward for more nasty e-mails. i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy,placing some the blame on me Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye2 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy, placing some the blame on me Exactly. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own mind. From another website by C-man: “My own theory is that in some cases, the WS does not really know they are THAT unhappy until they start their EA. THEN, all of a sudden their marriage is the worst thing in the world. It's a way they justify their infidelity and lack of character. So it wasn't a case of talking about unhappiness prior to the affair. It was a case of my stbxw "discovering" that she was unhappy as a way to justify her affair. Even now, our marriage gets worse and worse in her memory. It's like nothing good ever happened. Our beautiful home (our second), with the paid off mortgage, our married friends who we used to hang out with, all of our vacations - all of our Anniversary weekends. All the good times, all the shared experiences were apparently all a charade.” Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leaving Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 My life couldn't be any better. I absolutely love being a father it's the happiest feeling being able to hold my son close I'm cherish these small moments for the rest of my life. Me and Sarah decided to get married the beginning of next year why wait I love this women and can't wait to spend the rest of our life together I'll be back later to give everyone a complete update later so much stuff has happened 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 i'm expecting more emails and i'm also assuming she's going to use the fact that she thinks i were cheating on her to justify her actions so she will not look like the bad guy,placing some the blame on me Prepare a timeline, done up nicely with clearly defined dates, showing when she started her affairs, when you broke up and separated, when you started dating your new lady, and when she conceived. Pass it around to any family or friends who are interested. That way you will provide them with tangible proof that your XWW was the one who bombed out the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Exactly. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own mind. From another website by C-man: “My own theory is that in some cases, the WS does not really know they are THAT unhappy until they start their EA. THEN, all of a sudden their marriage is the worst thing in the world. It's a way they justify their infidelity and lack of character. So it wasn't a case of talking about unhappiness prior to the affair. It was a case of my stbxw "discovering" that she was unhappy as a way to justify her affair. Even now, our marriage gets worse and worse in her memory. It's like nothing good ever happened. Our beautiful home (our second), with the paid off mortgage, our married friends who we used to hang out with, all of our vacations - all of our Anniversary weekends. All the good times, all the shared experiences were apparently all a charade.” My exWW did exactly the same thing. They all do. It is the only way they can live with themselves and their sh*tty decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Good for you Leaving. I am glad you have been able to move on and make a better life for you and your soon to be wife. I do have to agree being a dad sure does make your life so much better. Its good to hear from you. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Great news Leaving! Wishing you the very best for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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