Need male's perspective - to decode his behavior

[britainfrog]

Hey, guys!

 

Hope you'd help me with this behavior that I'm not sure what it means or if I'm making a silly assumption based on emotions or perhaps overactive imagination.

 

We agreed to do the videophone (Facetime) tonight at around 8 pm (for me at 11 pm as we're 3 hours apart). Then I sent him a text, informing him that I was feeling little unwell but can still do facetime as planned, just be forewarned that I might use the loo more than once. Then he replied back, saying he's with his friend now, looking for new shoes. I was confused 'cuz he just finished his time with his daughter and knew that we had facetime date soon after. He said it was a last minute thing for the weekend he and his friend are going out of town for (btw, he didn't text me to inform me of that until I texted him as it was almost time for our facetime chat). I asked him what time we'd facetime and he said at around 9 or 9:30. Now it's past 9:30 and he hasn't texted me to let me know he's home and ready for facetime. I'm now feeling like I wanna forget about it and ignore his message if/when he texts me tonight after he's done helping with his friend. I'm not sure if I'd do NC for a couple of days or so as I'm away on vacation with friends now for the weekend.

 

The thing is he seems to spend a lot of time with his best friend for few months or so. With this shoe thing, I wondered why his best friend needed his help to find shoes. Btw, they're like over 40s and his best friend is single. Also this is not the first time I feel like I'm not important when he did that like postponing our facetime date or whatnot as he suddenly meets up with his best friend at the last minute...usually, he doesn't inform me for heads up (if we had plans already for facetime chats). It's been like that for the last few months or so. Before that, he used to let me know and keep me posted and always kept our facetime dates, never missed or cancelled. Btw, he's not gay or closeted gay if you're wondering 'cuz he never made me feel like less of a woman whenever we're together for the visits. Althou his best friend texted him few times regarding female problems he had or whatever during our visits to my annoyance...that's another story for another time.

 

We're in an odd relationship - we're still bf/gf but it's on hold...to focus on rebuilding friendship foundation (long story) for five months now (we've been together for more than 1.5 years). He contacts me daily (never missed a day).

 

What does this mean? What do I do?

 

Thanks in advance for your help and view/opinion!

 

Update: he still hasn't texted me since last night and I've not texted him either. It was the first time we missed a day in contact. What does it mean? Lost interested or one-track minded re: busy with his best friend?

 

Thanks again!

[Glutzembaum]

Let me warn you that I am quite direct. Also, that I have had a lot of interesting experiences with meeting people in the virtual world and meeting in person abroad, falling in love and all. I know enough to know that I know nothing... but still, one can take a guess, no?

 

All I have to say is that your messages left me with a simple message in my mind "she clearly knows." I mean YOU, you know that it's just not right. And all I can say is that when it doesn't look right, well it usually is not.

 

I have been in love with a woman from Spain (me Canada) since january and we would never dare skip a day without TELLING each other first. Ahead of the time. Makes sense, no? Very basic, no? How would someone who cares do otherwise?

 

I mean, skipping a talk with you to help a friend choosing shoes??? And not texting you about it AHEAD of time?

 

Good luck with this guy. I might be completely off-track, but I can't believe you're very high on his priority list... Let's hope I'm wrong.

[carhill]

Been around for 54 and male and have *never* heard of nor participated in/with a man helping another man choose shoes. Until today.

 

Behavior decoded. Either he and his best friend have a very unique relationship or 'best friend' is a code word for something else. If you've spent one on one time with his best friend, you'll likely be able to answer this. Any ideas?

[todreaminblue]

i have never heard a guy say do these shoes look alright on me never .....i havent ...i dont think it rings true......saying to each other...hey do you like this colour , do you think they look like they will be comfortable on me.........i think if his friend was single...like most single males...they would ask for assistance from the female store assistant.....and it wouldnt be because they needed help either, men normally can pick their own shoes........more likely a phone number...but i have a habit of beign wrong so....its just not something i have heard of before either..i could be wrong though...seems suspect to me...just be honest with him if he contacts you tell him how you feel...best wishes....deb

 

 

 

ok just read need males perspective....lol.....sorry female here now ill shut up ..........deb

[dichotomy]

Maybe, two guys might discuss a pair of athetic shoes ("hey those the new Air Jordans? where did you get them?), or hiking/work boots (hey those water proof or hold up in snow?) that is if they were both avid runners, basketball players, hikers or construction workers, of something.

 

Shoe shopping together? Thats strange.

 

And if a single man does not keep a chat time with a woman he is dating/seeing - it means he is not that into you.

[coolheadal]

Guys can go and buy shoes together no big deal! Give this time some space and let him entertain his friend. You need step back don't crowd him. Sure you have a time to chat with him on your facetime, but he decided to change things. Maybe this friend just came over or what?

 

You just don't know?

 

See what happens next? Then go from there. Don't even bother to nag him about the facetime.