steph Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 why is it that when guys get around their friends they feel they need to be a dick to their girlfriend? this question has been puzzling me for a while and no one that i have talked to knows why guys get like this. if you have an answer for me please tell me what you think. thanks a bunch steph Link to post Share on other sites
nycesq Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 I do not think that this is true, generally speaking. Men get bad raps from these types of generalizations, unless you are talking about 14 year old boys who go out in groups. In fact, it usually says something that a man will invite his girlfriend out with his friends....it means that you are important enough to meet them. What is the issue really? When you say that he is being a "dick" do you mean that he is belittling you or in any other way making you feel bad in front of his friends? Or is it rather that he does not pay as much attention to you when you are out with his friends? If it is the former, he probably is a dick. But that does not mean all guys are like that. If it is the latter, you can not expect to go out in a group of people and have him focus on you only. If you feel left out, engage some of his friends in conversation. Your boyfriend will probably appreciate that you care enough to get to know his friends better. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 Younger guys, or more immature ones, have a tendency to want to show their butts in front of their guy friends. It's a very immature, primitive, infantile, masculine thing that only some guys do. By some corrupt reasoning, which I have never been able to understand, more lower class sort of guys feel it's cool to act disrespectful and push their girlfriends around in front of the guys...sort of asserting themselves in a very morbid way. The good news is when your little boy grows up, he will treat you...or your successors...with much more respect around his friends. More than likely you won't be around him then...so you won't get to see this happen. You'll have long since found a more mature, considerate guy. The question has been puzzling me a very long time as well. I never did that sort of thing. My answer here is strictly speculation based on observing it a number of times. Link to post Share on other sites
steph Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 Younger guys, or more immature ones, have a tendency to want to show their butts in front of their guy friends. It's a very immature, primitive, infantile, masculine thing that only some guys do. By some corrupt reasoning, which I have never been able to understand, more lower class sort of guys feel it's cool to act disrespectful and push their girlfriends around in front of the guys...sort of asserting themselves in a very morbid way. The good news is when your little boy grows up, he will treat you...or your successors...with much more respect around his friends. More than likely you won't be around him then...so you won't get to see this happen. You'll have long since found a more mature, considerate guy. thanks tony! Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 I know exactly what you are talking about. I have seen a few of my boyfriends do the exact same thing you are talking about. They act one way around you and another way around their friends. They instantly turn into idiots when they are around other males. I have seen other males do this to their girlfriends as well. why is it that when guys get around their friends they feel they need to be a dick to their girlfriend? this question has been puzzling me for a while and no one that i have talked to knows why guys get like this. if you have an answer for me please tell me what you think. thanks a bunch steph Link to post Share on other sites
MegaB Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 They are immature boys who want to appear tough and not "whipped" in front of their male friends. The more mature they get, they'll realize how stupid and meaningless their actions are (hopefully) but until then...so that would be a good measurement of figuring out whether the person is mature enough to be in a sound relationship. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 I have figured out why they do it and have come to the same conclusion you have. Unfortunately, from what I can see some men don't grow out of it or not until they are much older. I think that will be one of my new relationship tests. See how the guy acts around his friends. Believe me in the last six months since my last relationship ended, I have thought about a lot of things. They are immature boys who want to appear tough and not "whipped" in front of their male friends. The more mature they get, they'll realize how stupid and meaningless their actions are (hopefully) but until then...so that would be a good measurement of figuring out whether the person is mature enough to be in a sound relationship. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MegaB Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 Weee~~ You're here! Keep on posting! Link to post Share on other sites
amelia Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 Steph- I completely understand what you are saying. I have experienced the same thing with almost every guy that I have dated. After much observation on this quirkiness of guys, this is what I have concluded. Most guys, not all but most, feel some need to put up a front when they are around their boys. A lot of guys seem as though they were raised with the idea put in their head that they aren't supposed to get "mushy" about their girl and that they aren't supposed to put up with any bulls***. So, although your guy may be an angel when he's with you and may worship the ground that you walk on, he doesn't want his friends to know that he's such a sweet guy. Other guys will make fun of him and give him #####--at least that's what he thinks. As obnoxious as it may seem and as hurt as it may make you, it is the way a lot of guys are. If it really a problem and you can't deal with it, you have basically three options. One, talk to him about in when it's just the two of you. Never start a fight when he's with his friends because I guarantee that you will not win or accomplish what you want. Two, don't hang out with him and his friends. Allow him to be with you and then to have time when he's with just his friends. Three, break up with him. This is a pretty extreme resort to have to take but a friend of mine finally did have to do it because she couldn't take the way he treated her anymore. Well, I hope that things get better for you...just remember that no one, male or female, has the right to treat you with disrespect (unless you disrespect them) and that you do not have to tolerate it--bottom line! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 I am not too crazy over that relationship web so I have started coming in here more. Weee~~ You're here! Keep on posting! Link to post Share on other sites
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