NumberZero Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 This is a bit of a doozie. We have been friends since I was 19 and I am 25 now. She helped through my break up last year. She is currently in a different country right now visiting her mom and well we had been texting each other every day and we decided to see if we would move to something more when she got back and had been planning a date. We had been flirting constantly during this time as well. Well she went to another part of that country for afew days and met this guy. Apparently she had an instant connection with him. They aren't dating but she is feeling strong emotions towards him. She is not even sure she will date him. She was scared to tell me but told me since she did not want to lie to me. The problem was I fell pretty hard for during these months. She knows that too and she is really apologetic since she was not expecting it. Sigh I am assuming I should just move on and hope for the best but anything else you can recommend in this situation? I did mention I might not be as talkative the next little bit to get my head clear. Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise24 Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Here's what it sounds like (in the form of a mathematical inequality): x > y < z x = your feelings for her y = her feelings for you z = her feelings for the new guy Assuming this new guy reciprocates the "instant connection" she was describing, she will naturally gravitate toward him as opposed to you, romantically speaking; she was not only scared of being dishonest, but of breaking your heart as well. However, I have a few questions which may shed further insight as to how you can handle this situation: What are your regular living/work situations?How often does she visit her mom?How is her relationship with her mom? Does this guy live in the same area as her mom (or at least reasonably close)? (if so, that could strengthen her incentive to pursue her relationship with that guy)Is she ready for a romantic relationship at all? In the meantime, it will help to continue getting to know more about her situation with that guy, provided you can sufficiently control your emotions; otherwise, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak and an unsustainable friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 You've still got her trust and friendship. That's most important. Take it easy from here, and like Sunrise24 said, see if you can get more info on what's going on between her and that guy she met. "provided you can sufficiently control your emotions" is the kicker though. Stay strong, you don't want to go overboard if you find out things are progressing between them. On the other hand, you can always think positively; what they have might just be a spark but nothing more. Sounds like you've got the potential to make things work in your favor. Just be prepared for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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