Test to see where my heart is/was

[secondfailure]

Last night a lady I have known for years came over to my house and we watched a movie together. She even layed in my lap while we were watching the movie. All I could think about was this was normally movie night with my family... As you all know my wife and I have been talking about separating since January and she moved out 3 weeks ago. I have known this lady who came over for a few years.. All I do is beat myself up about how when my wife asked should she say and I said no because she feared for her sons safety becasue of my perceived temper (I have never been to jail or anything close. I am just an old school person). Then when I thought about it I told her lets stay together and work like hell to work it out.. On of my good friends has told me to open my heart and mind to a potentail person who could be in my life. She is my age and has an adult son who is out of the house. Me and my ex had knock down drag out fights over her kids and her lack of being a partner..

 

Man, what is wrong with me. And let me say I have told this lady where I am in my life and I am not lookng for anything at this point so if that is what she is looking for she needs to bail... What is wrong with me....

 

This forum gives great advice and I need to here what is wrong with me.

 

1. How do I stop beating my self up? I know it takes two to wreck a marriage

 

2. I have started to realize she is not coming back so I am starting to learn to move forward

 

3. Is it wrong to have a friend to just talk to when I have told her I am not looking for anything???

Edited September 21, 2013 by secondfailure

[2.50 a gallon]

1. With time I suspect that you will see the light, in that you did the right thing by saying no. The inner conflict comes from the fact that you are now alone

 

2. I would like to say, that every day that passes, things get a little better, but the truth is sometimes we back slide, a one step forward and two steps back thing, so will say, that week by week things get a little better

 

3. Most others on this board, disagree with me, but for myself, I think as long as the other person is aware of your situation, that such contacts with the opposite sex, help you regain your self esteem and confidence.

I myself, was at the bottom of a dark pit of hopelessness, when a pretty face looked down at me and asked me if I wanted to come out and play. The change within me was almost instantaneous, as I quickly found myself flying with the eagles

[secondfailure]

1. With time I suspect that you will see the light, in that you did the right thing by saying no. The inner conflict comes from the fact that you are now alone

 

2. I would like to say, that every day that passes, things get a little better, but the truth is sometimes we back slide, a one step forward and two steps back thing, so will say, that week by week things get a little better

 

3. Most others on this board, disagree with me, but for myself, I think as long as the other person is aware of your situation, that such contacts with the opposite sex, help you regain your self esteem and confidence.

I myself, was at the bottom of a dark pit of hopelessness, when a pretty face looked down at me and asked me if I wanted to come out and play. The change within me was almost instantaneous, as I quickly found myself flying with the eagles

 

2.20, I agree with totally.. It did boost my confidence and to make me realize that I am a person who could be loved.. It is just I feel kind of guilty about it. But like my bro in law told me thois morning. My ex is not pining over me. But for some reason when I try and put teh car in drive, it sems like it stays in neutral...