The hardest part of changing.

[NGC1300]

No matter your personality, anyone you've been around for any length of time is going to a have a certain perception of you. These perceptions are largely static. You can change all you want, you can improve all you want, but those perceptions held by people are going to be nearly impossible to change.

 

For instance, if a guy comes across as a creepy loser amongst his peers, he'll never truly change anyone's perception of that, no matter how successfully he alters his personality.

 

If you come across insecure and timid, altering your personality will not change that perception. You will not be accepted or respected regardless of how much you change yourself.

 

If you come across as a withdrawn loner, attempting to be upbeat and social will simply further solidify perceptions of you being "weird". People may even conclude you're mentally ill.

 

This is the single hardest aspect of changing, because nothing will actually change in the eyes of others. You will continue to be perceived as your old self.

 

This isn't about caring what others think; it's simply the fact that you aren't likely to be treated any differently be people, because of the static nature of their perceptions.

[M30USA]

No matter your personality, anyone you've been around for any length of time is going to a have a certain perception of you. These perceptions are largely static. You can change all you want, you can improve all you want, but those perceptions held by people are going to be nearly impossible to change.

 

For instance, if a guy comes across as a creepy loser amongst his peers, he'll never truly change anyone's perception of that, no matter how successfully he alters his personality.

 

If you come across insecure and timid, altering your personality will not change that perception. You will not be accepted or respected regardless of how much you change yourself.

 

If you come across as a withdrawn loner, attempting to be upbeat and social will simply further solidify perceptions of you being "weird". People may even conclude you're mentally ill.

 

This is the single hardest aspect of changing, because nothing will actually change in the eyes of others. You will continue to be perceived as your old self.

 

This isn't about caring what others think; it's simply the fact that you aren't likely to be treated any differently be people, because of the static nature of their perceptions.

 

So then focus on becoming the best you can be within whatever personality type you are. Plenty of loners have earned respect. Plenty of "creeps" have succeeded by having large circles of influence--it's even suspected that narcissist types succeed more in business and competitive endeavors.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

No matter your personality, anyone you've been around for any length of time is going to a have a certain perception of you. These perceptions are largely static. You can change all you want, you can improve all you want, but those perceptions held by people are going to be nearly impossible to change.

 

For instance, if a guy comes across as a creepy loser amongst his peers, he'll never truly change anyone's perception of that, no matter how successfully he alters his personality.

 

If you come across insecure and timid, altering your personality will not change that perception. You will not be accepted or respected regardless of how much you change yourself.

 

If you come across as a withdrawn loner, attempting to be upbeat and social will simply further solidify perceptions of you being "weird". People may even conclude you're mentally ill.

 

This is the single hardest aspect of changing, because nothing will actually change in the eyes of others. You will continue to be perceived as your old self.

 

This isn't about caring what others think; it's simply the fact that you aren't likely to be treated any differently be people, because of the static nature of their perceptions.

 

I disagree. You can certainly change people's opinions of you. I've done it to others and have had others do it to me.

 

I remember there was this one guy in college that basically was the b*tch of the group. I was one of the people that was harder on him (though not nearly as bad as my girlfriend at the time).

 

Well, midway through college, this guy changed significantly and certainly earned my respect. And we became more equals after that time.

 

It should be noted that through this entire process (from beginning to end), I was at an extremely immature time of my life. So this would work on anybody.

[candie13]

You need to stop intellectualizing your fear of change and just go and do it. Live the change. The moment it takes place, it's real, it will be real for you and for the rest of th world.

[FitChick]

Move if you have to. Find new friends.

[mea_M]

Then let them perceive all they wish. You know who you are and that's all that matters. I recently had a not so kind neighbor of mine say something to the effect like everyone has an image. I just laughed at her. because that's ridiculous.

 

Mea:)

[Heart of the Desert]

The key is not believing the image others have cut out for you. Just keep on keeping on, one day they will notice a different person. Or not, but just because they believe you are someone you are not that does not make it true (until you start believing it that is). I have seen people change so drasticaly that people who knew them actual do not reccognize them. Why? because they were just seeing their image of the person and not the person themselves. Be true to you, some people will accept it some people will not. At least you will know where they stand.

Edited September 29, 2013 by Heart of the Desert