Swinging perverts

[Lucia]

We all know what marriage is about. So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery? Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm? Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right. What do you people think about it?

[Merin]

Originally posted by Lucia

We all know what marriage is about. So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery? Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm? Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right. What do you people think about it?

 

I think to each his own..

 

IF both parties are all about it.. then all them.

Personally.. I couldn't be down for it.

[JackieQ]

guess if it works for someone...it's their life. between 2/3/4 etc consenting adults etc etc.

 

But, I guess I think it would be hard to maintain some sort of trust in that kind of relationship. Just me.

 

jackieq

[Dakini]

Originally posted by Lucia

We all know what marriage is about.

 

Really? It seems to be many different things for many different people, and is interpreted differently by different religions, states, etc.

 

 

Originally posted by Lucia

So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery?

 

Have you ever swung? Been to a swingers club? I have, and I have engaged in swinging. Swingers are generally some of the nicest, most open, NON-JUDGEMENTAL, people you will ever have the privilege to meet.

 

Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm? Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right.

 

 

Well, as Merin said, to each his own. It may be dirty and sinful to you, but to many people (who may not share your moral and religious views) its not. Don't knock it before you try it.

[marie337]

It is definitely not something that I'm interested in at this point in my life. But, I have been around and associated with people in the lifestyle and for the most part they are normal everyday people. I think it is great that a married couple can be comfortable enough with each other and with themselves to allow other people into their marriage. If both people in the marriage are completely, 100% okay with it, then I say more power to them. I'm just not secure enough with myself to let my husband be with someone else.

[honey2005]

I'm a pretty moral person, Lucia, like you seem to be, but I know that they are MY morals. Other people may not have the same ones as me and that's fine. I know that swinging is not for me. I'm a one man kind of girl and I'd die of jealousy if my bf/husband was with another woman. That is just me though. I don't look down on someone else because of what they like to do. Their marriage/sex life is NONE of my business. I don't think you should get so worked up over what other people do. It's their lives, not yours. Just live yours the way you want to and let them do the same.

[johan]

Damn them ALL!!

 

Oh wait, God will take care of that. Never mind. Guess I'll just mind my own business. Sometimes I get distracted by all the evil-doers, because I have no sins of my own to worry about.

[moimeme]

evil-doers

 

Move to strike that non-word from the English language forever. Seconder?

[johan]

Do I hear censorship?

 

I move to keep it, because you have to use terms the audience understands if you want to connect with them. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind seeing "axius of eevul" go away.

[Merin]

Originally posted by johan

Damn them ALL!!

 

Oh wait, God will take care of that. Never mind. Guess I'll just mind my own business. Sometimes I get distracted by all the evil-doers, because I have no sins of my own to worry about.

 

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by Lucia

 

Swinging perverts

I wouldn't want to be around swinging perverts. I wouldn't want to be around religious fanatic perverts either. I wouldn't want to be around any perverts for that matter.

 

So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery?

For the most part, swingers don't indulge in adultry. They have sex with other people as do their spouses but it's done out in the open. I'm sure there are some that don't know about it but that's known as cheating, not swinging.

 

Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm?

Well, the way I look at it you have 2 choices. You can accept the fact that some people don't live their lives exactly the way you do, get over it and continue living your life the way you want. Or, you and a bunch of your like-minded friends can go picket a swing club.

 

Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right.

You have every right to feel that way.

 

 

What do you people think about it?

See previous comments.

[moimeme]

you have to use terms the audience understands if you want to connect with them.

 

The dictionary is already full of perfectly adequate words.

[jmargel]

Originally posted by Lucia

We all know what marriage is about. So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery? Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm? Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right. What do you people think about it?

 

Swinging is NOT cheating. In all actuality, swingers have the most trust in their spouse than any one who is not into swinging. Couples who get into this are ones who are secure within' themselves and their mate. While swinging, if either spouse is uncomfortable with any situation, they stop.

 

There is soft swinging and hard swinging. In all reality alot of the times a couple goes to a swingers place, nothing happens, its just a way to get comfortable with the surroundings at first.

 

You say this is perversity, but this has been going on for centuries. It was common back in the roman and egyptian times that this was done. Like others, each to their own.

 

adultery

 

n : extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations;

 

One might say as long as it does not interfere with marriage relations then there is no harm.

 

There is a difference between love and sex and as long as both spouses agree to the strict ground rules that are laid out by each other before venturing into something like this, it may be a positive thing in their marriage.

[The_Analyzer]

Since we all have opinons about it, heres mine. Swinging is cheating and it is adultry. People think that if their spouse or s/o doesn't know what the other one is doing then its considered cheating or adultry. However its the same thing, its just that its consentual. Be it that they are secure in their realtionship or not they do it because bascially its their way of being with others without having to go behind their spouses back. Like I said its consentual adultry.

 

 

_________________________

 

"Don't argue with me, you wont win."

[Debster]

While, I have never and will not swing. I don't have anything against people that do and I have met some people who do swing. Whatever floats their boat in their bedroom and between consenting adults is well... their choice. But, I do disagree with a section of jmargel's post.

 

In all actuality, swingers have the most trust in their spouse than any one who is not into swinging. Couples who get into this are ones who are secure within' themselves and their mate. While swinging, if either spouse is uncomfortable with any situation, they stop.

 

First off, IMO trust has nothing to do with it. It has to do with a view on sex and their ability to separate sex from their emotions/relationship. I have also read posts on Loveshack (I think) and other forums about couples who get into swinging because one partner really wanted to and the other thought ok, let's give it a try. I have also read about one of the partners having an insecurity issue with it.

[SoleMate]

So what about all this "swingers" indulging in adultery? Are we supposed to accept this perversity as a norm?

This activity/perversion is a rare practice. As a wild guess, I'd say maybe 1% of American married couples swing - statistics anyone? So clearly it's not a "norm". As far as accepting it, I certainly find it distasteful, and I would really rather not hear about it. I was the semi-unwilling recipient of some secondhand confidences about a person's swinging lifestyle, and yes, I found it rather repugnant, and also kinda humorous in a sad way.

 

Well, I think it's dirty and sinful and not right. What do you people think about it?

"Dirty" == likely to transmit STDs? POssibly, but probably less than the less formal encounters that go on every day.

"Sinful" == per the Bible's definition? Yes, definitely, for women. The OT would permit men to "swing" with concubines, prostitutes, etc. The NT requires monogamy for both men and women.

"Not right" == for whom? It's clearly not right for you, or me, or 98% of the people out there. Standards do differ, but if you have a written moral code that we can refer to, then we can say if it is "not right".

 

I basically agree with you. To me, the whole idea is "icky" and also seems ridiculous. For me, sexual relations are a way to get close to my one and only partner, while also feeling good. I sure don't want any OTHER man making me feel good, nor do I want to consider that another woman may be making HIM feel good.

 

And I really don't want to hear swingers talking about their lifestule, either. Every now and then, there's an article in a magazine or somewhere about the upsides to this practice. I'm not convinced.

[savethedrama4allama]

1. I personally think this post is a hoax.

 

2. Jmargel needs to put a shirt on in his avatar.

 

3. If this post was a hoax, its not anymore because it got us talking. I do know some couples who swing. Its not for me. Sexual intimacy is probably the only thing that you do only with your partner. I don't want to share that experience. Its very special to me, and it connects us. However, to each their own. If all parties are willing, who am I to judge? With that said, I could not be involved with a man who used to swing or has a desire to swing that he will refrain from acting on while with me. Its just not my bag, and if its his, I don't want to keep him from it. He'll inevitably feel like he's missing something.

[tiki]

I don't dig it.

[Moose]

For the most part, swingers don't indulge in adultry. They have sex with other people as do their spouses but it's done out in the open. I'm sure there are some that don't know about it but that's known as cheating, not swinging.

 

Swinging is adultry. Anytime a man has sex with someone other than his wife or vice versa, it's adultry. But hey, that's just my belief.

 

I don't care if people want to do it, I feel sorry for the a$$ kickin' they'll eventually get, but hey, all you can do is warn them, right?

[jmargel]

2. Jmargel needs to put a shirt on in his avatar.

 

I'm wearing a tub-top.

[hotgurl]

yeah the llama's back!

 

I'm not into it but I have a good story. I was in a meeting with an outside vendor it was time to renew a contract at th end of the meeting he starts talking about his wife and said yeah she had a hard time adjusting tot he lifestyle and then babbled on for 1/2 hr about their swinging and I'm like wtf it's a business meeting. bad judgment

[JadeStar]

Been trying to get the husband to "swing" from the ceiling fan. I think he might do it. (grin) Just a swagin! (80's country song by John Anderson.)

[bluetuesday]

reeeally not my bag either.

 

i'm a one guy one girl girl. emotionally and physically.

 

sharing something as intimate as sex with someone i'm not emotionally bonded to is not something i could ever do or have ever done.

 

but i'm not living anyone else's life for them.

 

and technically, it is adultery to voluntarily sleep with someone other than your spouse. but putting a label on it is pointless. the term makes it intrinsically no better or worse.

[billswife]

I feel sorry for the a$$ kickin' they'll eventually get

From who? You? God?

 

My opinion: Sex does not equal love, but if you love someone, the sex you have will reflect that. What I mean is, if the couple is in love and agrees on the terms, then what's the problem?

 

Bottom line: Whether you think it is ok, or think it a sin, that doesn't really matter to me. You mind your business and I'll mind mine. Who the hell cares what OTHER married people are doing? As long as no one is being lied to, and everyone is an adult, it is nobody else's business.

 

What's the big deal? Are the swingers out recruiting like the Army or the Mormons or something?

[honey2005]

In all actuality, swingers have the most trust in their spouse than any one who is not into swinging.

 

I don't agree with that. I think you can have a ton of trust in relationship where you don't share your partner. You don't have to let your s/o sleep with someone else to have complete trust.