After 7 years and 8 months, I told mm I'm done!

[BrokenPrincess]

You love him. Fine. You'll probably love him forever and he'll hold a special place in your heart but that doesn't mean he should be in your life. He makes you feel bad too, and loving him, putting him first before your own needs has done damage.

 

T/j: thanks WWIU...this really struck a chord with me today too

[happy stillmore]

Canuck,

 

I know this is the hardest thing to do. It is scary to feel like you are going to lose your best friend. But, you have to see he is not your best friend to knowingly cause you this pain. If he truly loved you, he would not allow one more day, one more night go by without being free to love you. He should be honest with himself, his wife and to you. Where his heart lies is his truth. He must choose the path his heart takes and be honest with everyone. It sounds like he does not have the courage to make this decision on his own so he is waiting it out to see what decisions are made for him. (My xMM was this way.)

 

You don't have the power to have him make the choice, but you do have the power over your life. You decide who is in your life, how you are treated, how you react to things. You have to decide to not accept this situation as it is hurting you. One day, it clicked with me. I realized this situation was hurting me. The sadness of not being able to fully share my life with my best friend became my reality. I had to accept it wasn't changing as his actions were telling me so. When I realized he was not backing up his words with his actions, I had to end it in order to show myself how much I respect and love myself. My inner self knew this was the right thing to do. I knowingly am loving myself by doing the right thing for me. That in itself is a gift. My gift to me is to love myself. I have felt empowered by this decision. I no longer will do things to cause hurt to myself and that includes not settling in all aspects of my life. We are both worth the best of what life has to offer, not settling for seconds or less.

 

Don't look at this relationship as a loss. You have gained a lot of insight of your self. You have also gained wisdom. For me, I no longer accept things at face value. Words have to be backed up by actions. You will be empowered by the strength you did not know you had. This will be the hardest thing to do, to end a relationship you dearly loved but you will realize you love yourself more. That is an awesome thing to see.

 

Just remind yourself when you are in doubt, Actions speak louder than words. That is the truth. Really, it is what is it is. His actions have already told you what you should do. Be strong, girlfriend.

Edited October 10, 2013 by happy stillmore

[Dog Woman]

I'm saying I don't know what I want. I know I love him and that's all I know.

 

I still love my exMM and wish we could have been together as a proper couple but he didn't want to leave his wife. Eventually I decided I have to make a life for myself and live without him as I was no longer prepared to be the OW in his life. It has been hard letting go of him, but I had to do it for me. He still contacts me, still wants to meet up, still wants us to sleep together but I just keep saying no and tonight I told him that if he has decided he wants to stay married then he needs to focus on his wife and be faithful to her from now on and that there is more to a marriage and a relationship than sex. I'm not bothered if he does or does not try and contact me again. I'm just getting on with my life and actually it's quite nice to be on my own - I can be my own person and do my own thing.

[canuckprincess]

Sorry I've been MIA but I promised my mm I wouldn't post in here till the dust settles. Not to worry everything is wonderful in our little world.

[WakingUp]

I PM'd you... been worried for you.

 

Glad you came back, just to say you are OK.

 

Best wishes ((( )))