chocky123 Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I really need some advice. This is going to be a long post and I apologise for that but I am totally lost. Just over a year ago I got talking to a guy in the UK (I live in Sydney) and we do some work together. We started to exchange emails on a regular basis and really had a great deal in common. The emails were lengthy, filled with information about our lives and past and fun. We met up in October when I was in the UK on business. Had a great time together, emails continued to flow and conversation and texting took over. Talking nearly everyday for hours. He did some things that made me think this was turning into a relationship. In February this year I arrived back in the UK for a 6 month secondment to our UK company. We met up initially for a few days, as friends. Nothing happened and I was devastated. I told him I had feelings, he ran away. We started talking again and texting but nothing like it was before. We met up on around 6 occasions over the six months. Dinner, lunch, days out. Had a great time. He gave me a romantic personal birthday gift I did the same to him. Again nothing happened between us. He never made the effort to catch up, I always did. A few weeks before I was due to leave the country contact became more frequent, more like It was before. He literally texted me all the way to the airport, phoned when I got there and I was on the phone to him for over 2 hours literally until I sat in my seat on the plane. When I got back to Sydney he texted, skyped called me for 2 – 3 hours a day. Emailed me and literally asks what I am doing when I am doing it. Here is the thing. I am going back to the UK in October for a month. I will be staying closer to him this time. Also we have set a date to go away for a few days together (as friends). This time he hasn’t mentioned the usual we are friends we need single rooms. He has literally been the one making all the contact and we talk for hours. I will not make any mention of a relationship as he will run a mile. He tells me I should go on line and start dating. He said he will look at on line dating when he is ready for a relationship. My question here is, is this guy interested in me? He calls daily, sometimes twice a day. He asks me what I am doing. Teases me about things, teases me about my life. Phones just to check I am OK. If he can’t get me on skype I get a text, an email and 7 or 8 missed skype calls in a row checking if Im Ok as he can’t get hold of me. Why would a man suggest I start dating? Would you call someone on the other side of the world everyday if there was no interest? Would you talk for 2 hours a day with someone you have no interest in? Would you go away as friends with someone you had no interest in? Why when I was in the same country for 6 months has he suddenly done this? How do I handle it? Many thanks and I really do need proper advice. No he is with no one else. He has had no one else in his life since he met me. We have never been intimate We are like we are in a relationship without the relationship!! Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Just based on the info you're giving, he is definitely interested but possibly afraid of a relationship considering you're his first real interest (hence his strange suggestions about OLD and "running a mile" when a relationship is mentioned). Before I had my first relationship I was worried about "how it would be" and yes, I was ridiculous to overthink something like that but it's something I always wanted to exceed in. Basically, when you go on your trip, take it easy. Might just take a few more days/weeks of being together in a relaxed setting for him to realize that a relationship could be a very natural thing. If you have doubts, talk about it with him! And don't be afraid of how you talk about it. Be frank. He should be mature enough to handle at least chatting about you guys' future without running off. Link to post Share on other sites
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