93TheHitStick Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 So i know for a fact that my girlfriend of over a year has a crush on he cousin. This all started like a couple of months ago. She went to some wedding with her family. I wasn't invited. But after the wedding she was showing me pics. Most of the pics were of her hugged up on some super buff dude. I asked who he was and she was like "oh thats my cousin" i thought it was weird because shes told me about all her cousins and never mentioned him. But i just changed the subject and forgot about it. Fastforward to this past friday. Me and her were supposed to hangout. She ignored me all day. Then texted me at night time saying she was hanging out with her sister. Then saturday came around. We were hanging out before i had to work. We were watching troy. And the brad pitt butt scene comes on. Shes like "wow look at that butt" and then right after that shes like "guess what my cousin told me? He told me that him and his ex broke up cuz she stole cash from him. Thats so crazy right" I feel like disrespected. First of all i feel as if brad pitts butt is what made her think about her cousin... so like wtf shes obviously been checking this guy out. Second of all when did she even hangout with this guy for him to tell her all this? And why would she be so excited about it? SO i just got up and left. She texted me all day. Called me. Showed up at my job at lunch time asking why i was mad. I told her why i was mad and she confirmed my suspicions. I never accuse her of stuff like that cuz shes usually really faithful. But i can tell when shes telling the truth. And when i asked her if she liked him she looked scared for a second then she was like "omg are you serious? Wtf? No I would never" and thats just not how she talks at all. If i accused her of liking any other guy she woulda been like "haha." and started talking about something else. But she started panicking so thats all i really need to know. I went back to work and i haven't spoken with her since. Shes been texting me non stop. Asking why im mad. Telling me to stop. All that. But i can just tell she likes him. If she didn't like him she wouldn't be trying so hard to make me not angry with her. If she feels that i'm mad for no reason SHE GETS MAD TOO. She doesn't beg me to forgive her when she didn't even do anything. What do you think i should do? I dont want to try to control her. And if thats what she wants then she can have him. But if shes gonna be going after other guys i feel like i should get other girls.
BeholdtheMan Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 But if shes gonna be going after other guys i feel like i should get other girls. Ding ding ding! I think you answered your own question Her behaviour would annoy the fu** out of me, probably enough for me to leave her. I'd end it and move on. It sets both of you free. You're free to find a girl who doesn't drool over her own cousin, she's free to risk having potentially retarded children with a close relative. Everyone wins
hppr Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 My girlfriend had a thing for her cousin too. Whenever he has a party she wants to go, she's always huggy huggy with him, they danced together at this club (final straw). Eventually I told her that her crush on her cousin is ****ing gross and I don't want to hear about it anymore. It's okay to have those feelings and not know what to do with them when you are 11 but you are 25 years old and that behavior with a FAMILY MEMBER is unacceptable, not to mention disgusting. Don't know if that was the right thing to say or not but she hasn't mentioned him in awhile and she's not blowing up his Facebook page anymore. So something must have hit a nerve.
gaius Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Most women care enough about what other people think not to bang their cousin, even if they're attracted to him. If she's so into super buff dudes why don't you just hit the gym?
Author 93TheHitStick Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Most women care enough about what other people think not to bang their cousin, even if they're attracted to him. If she's so into super buff dudes why don't you just hit the gym? I workout daily. But i don't want to be a bodybuilder. Being able to lift a bunch of weight has no practical use in my day to day life. And i'm already 6'5 i don't need to look any more intimidating. I don't even know if that guy is really her cousin. I have my doubts because like i said she never mentioned him until a couple months ago. And he could be her "cousin" by marriage. Also i know she was dancing with him. I guess i'll just start ignoring her and talking to other girls.
Woop1337 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) We are human and we have flaws. Even if you have those kind of feelings, you don't express that to your significant other. You just asking for trouble. Self control and discipline are lost nowadays. From what you described, I don't think your gf is unfaithful. She's just guilty of having a "big mouth". Edited September 22, 2013 by Woop1337
MalachiX Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 So...she makes one comment about Brad Pitt's butt and then mentions her cousin so you freak out? Sounds like you've got some serious insecurity issues. If you're really that paranoid then you two should probably break up because it doesn't sound like you can handle her getting attention from ANY other guy (even if he's family). BTW, if she's planning on banging her cousin, she probably WOULDN'T mention that he's single to you 5
Author 93TheHitStick Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 So...she makes one comment about Brad Pitt's butt and then mentions her cousin so you freak out? Sounds like you've got some serious insecurity issues. If you're really that paranoid then you two should probably break up because it doesn't sound like you can handle her getting attention from ANY other guy (even if he's family). BTW, if she's planning on banging her cousin, she probably WOULDN'T mention that he's single to you I don't have any body image issues. I realize that girls like muscley dudes more but i've lost a lot of weight to get where i am. And i'm much happier being fit then trying to look like hulk hogan. In my opinion its the people who spend all there time lifting weights who have the issues. And i can't handle her getting attention? Shes kind of a flirt. She stares at guys constantly. I don't care as long as i know its innocent. She mentioned dancing with her cousin all night at a wedding while she was drunk. Showed me pictures of him posing while she was hugging all over him. And i didn't get mad. What made me mad is that she would choose to bring him up right after making a comment about brad pitt and a day after she ditched me to "hang with her sister" And you know what i still wasn't really mad at her. But i then when i asked her and she reacted how she did that sealed the deal. You can say that i'm overreacting but i know her well. And i can tell when shes lying and when shes not. And if she does like him (which she obviously does) where are we supposed to go from here? I'm supposed to be happy with her being his date to every family function because i'm not invited? I mean if that is fair then why shouldn't i be able to hangout with other girls?
MalachiX Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I don't have any body image issues. I realize that girls like muscley dudes more but i've lost a lot of weight to get where i am. And i'm much happier being fit then trying to look like hulk hogan. In my opinion its the people who spend all there time lifting weights who have the issues. I'm not trying to be a dick or put you on the defensive. That said, it's kinda odd you quoted me and then wrote a paragraph insisting you don't have body image issues even though I never said anything about body image issues. I said I thought you were sounding insecure. And i can't handle her getting attention? Shes kind of a flirt. She stares at guys constantly. I don't care as long as i know its innocent. She mentioned dancing with her cousin all night at a wedding while she was drunk. Showed me pictures of him posing while she was hugging all over him. And i didn't get mad. except you kinda did based on your previous post. Besides, IT'S HER COUSIN! Are you guys in a 3rd world country or Kentucky? What made me mad is that she would choose to bring him up right after making a comment about brad pitt and a day after she ditched me to "hang with her sister" Yeah, I read the post. Your response of not talking to her, getting mad, still sounds like a huge overreaction no matter how many times you explain it (just my opinion of course). My EX used to make comments that she thought Jon Stewart and Antonio Bandaras were sexy (odd combo huh?). I wasn't thrilled by it but I didn't get pissed off at her. She also had guy friends (ones that weren't blood relations) and I didn't let this freak me out either. If you can't trust someone not to cheat on your then you're not ready to be in a relationship. And you know what i still wasn't really mad at her. But i then when i asked her and she reacted how she did that sealed the deal. You can say that i'm overreacting but i know her well. And i can tell when shes lying and when shes not. You're right, I don't know her. I just know what you wrote and it sounds incredibly paranoid. What sealed the deal is that she denied having feelings for her cousin too strongly and you think that's suspicious. it didn't occur to you that she reacted differently than if you had accused her of liking another guy because you were also accusing her of INCEST? If a girl I was with asked me if I liked a random woman, I'd probably laugh it off and say no. If she asked me if I wanted to sleep with one of my female cousins, I'd be like "WTF! Where did that come from?!?" And if she does like him (which she obviously does) where are we supposed to go from here? I'm supposed to be happy with her being his date to every family function because i'm not invited? I mean if that is fair then why shouldn't i be able to hangout with other girls? HE'S HER COUSIN DUDE!!! Do you seriously not understand how that makes him different from just a random guy? I love my female cousins. I'm often quite affectionate with them because, in some ways, they're like sisters. That doesn't mean I'm going to bang them!!! Jesus. 2
madjac74 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 You are acting like a jealous boyfriend and that is almost as annoying as her being flirty with her cousin. I think for both of your sakes you should end the relationship and do some growing up.
Author 93TheHitStick Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 I'm not trying to be a dick or put you on the defensive. That said, it's kinda odd you quoted me and then wrote a paragraph insisting you don't have body image issues even though I never said anything about body image issues. I said I thought you were sounding insecure. Based on the topic of the thread and its contents i would assume any "insecurity" issues you were talking about would relate to body image. except you kinda did based on your previous post. Besides, IT'S HER COUSIN! Are you guys in a 3rd world country or Kentucky? You may call my reaction "anger" but i run hot. So when i'm in a situation that i don't like i remove myself. In my opinion if i removing myself from the situation isn't the same thing as losing my temper. Yeah, I read the post. Your response of not talking to her, getting mad, still sounds like a huge overreaction no matter how many times you explain it (just my opinion of course). My EX used to make comments that she thought Jon Stewart and Antonio Bandaras were sexy (odd combo huh?). I wasn't thrilled by it but I didn't get pissed off at her. She also had guy friends (ones that weren't blood relations) and I didn't let this freak me out either. If you can't trust someone not to cheat on your then you're not ready to be in a relationship. You seem to be under the impression that i'm some kinda super jealous guy. That isn't the case. My girlfriend has the freedom to do whatever she likes. My girlfriend has guy friends. Guys hit on her every where she goes. She goes out to parties and she dances with other guys. I don't care as long as shes honest about it. You're right, I don't know her. I just know what you wrote and it sounds incredibly paranoid. What sealed the deal is that she denied having feelings for her cousin too strongly and you think that's suspicious. it didn't occur to you that she reacted differently than if you had accused her of liking another guy because you were also accusing her of INCEST? If a girl I was with asked me if I liked a random woman, I'd probably laugh it off and say no. If she asked me if I wanted to sleep with one of my female cousins, I'd be like "WTF! Where did that come from?!?" You don't know her. So yes that is what sealed the deal. Nobody accused her of incest. I asked her if she had a crush on her cousin. From her response i could tell she was lying. I'm not gonna sit here and break down every single one of her mannerisms for you but it was more then what she said. It was also how she said it. And more then that it was her reaction after the event. She was texting me non stop acting apologetic. She doesn't act like that for no reason. HE'S HER COUSIN DUDE!!! Do you seriously not understand how that makes him different from just a random guy? First of all she has a huge family. Half of her "cousins" probably aren't related to her in anyway. And a quarter of them are distant relative. I know or know of all her actual cousins. This guy i have never seen or heard of before. So for all i know THATS NOT HER COUSIN. I love my female cousins. I'm often quite affectionate with them because, in some ways, they're like sisters. That doesn't mean I'm going to bang them!!! I don't know any of my cousins so i cant speak from experience. But i have had a girlfriend who had sex with her cousin in the past. And i have friends that have told me they slept with there cousins. Obviously if you grew up with this person you will see them as family. But not everyone grows up with there cousins. And not everyone cares. And also in my girlfriends culture it isn't uncommon for cousins to marry. Her cousins parents set up an arranged marriage with her other cousin. And the fact that this dude can be in pictures with her parents while i haven't even met them tells me all i need to know Jesus. Yea i'm dumping her.
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