He talks about his Ex and she still calls!!! HELP!

[CindyLooHoo]

[font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color]So.. My situation is very confusing, Ive been seeing a guy for 3 months now .. At least 2/3 times a week.. Ive been staying over every weekend since the first month, We go out together have a great time.. I knew he had an ex who moved away during the summer.. Recently she started calling again .. She is ONLY an ex because she moved away. He started gradually talking about her more.. And showing pictures.. Then he confessed to me that she had called and told him she would be visiting for Xmas Vacation .. She has a boyfriend but would be coming home "alone" .. Im not sure why he told me this .. Was this a hint? For me to be prepared to be dumped when she arrives back home? Why would he sacrafice it all for someone who is only on vacation.. And she has started calling more.. Every weekend now.. Im very very confused .. HELP!

[morrigan]

She is ONLY an ex because she moved away. He started gradually talking about her more.. And showing pictures.

 

Sorry to say, but that is a red flag waving in front of you. Add in the continual phone calls and the upcoming visit, and it basically is a situation I wouldn't stick around for.

 

He may be a nice guy, but he clearly is not over this ex girlfriend. Feel sorry for this girl's new boyfriend, but I wouldn't keep dating someone who is carrying a torch for someone else.

[Mary3]

Its over !! :

 

Start visualizing yourself alone...

 

When the bf is NOT over the X : You Lose.....

 

Start accepting it now.....because sad to say some ppl get involved in relationships when they still have feelings for someone. You lose ....feel sorry for them both and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

[heckno]

I agree, it's over.

 

I was in the same situation, and it's a lose lose. Just trust your gut, and don't mess with this situation. What a pain in the ass it will end up being if you do.

[Hurt]

trust one thing, your gut! If there are unsettled issues with the ex, you will get hurt! get out while you can, read my story!

[roxyblack]

I am in the same situation...somewhat... My boyfriend is in the navy and is currently stationed in San Diego, Ca. He is from New York. His ex-girlfriend of about 2 years still calls him on the phone and sends him cd's and stuff. Whenever she calls he never says he is with me (his girlfriend) and when he asks about her b/f she acts as if there is nothing serious going on between them. Anyway, they broke up because of the distance. She thought it would be too difficult for them to stay together when on opposite sides of the country.

 

This is the thing though, for the New Years holiday weekend he asked me to go back home with him to meet his family and I know his ex will surely be there. Do you think that if he still had feelings for his ex he would have asked me to go back home with him? How should I act when I meet her? Should I kill her with kindness or just act snobbish?

 

any comments would be appreciated...thanks!

[rachael]

have you tried telling him this bothers you ? but i do agree with every1 else an x - allways wins especially under those conditions.

why aint her bf coming with her ?

[rachael]

roxyblack i think you should be yourself and he wouldnt be asking you home if there were anything to hide.

i would feel uncomftable but you are with him and make that piont proven when you are there.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by roxyblack

How should I act when I meet her? Should I kill her with kindness or just act snobbish?

 

Just be yourself as much as you can - and treat her no differently than you would any other stranger. He may very well have feelings for her: fond memories and the friendly basis of their relationship - but that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to resume the relationship. Acting poorly toward her in any way will backfire on you if your boyfriend still has friendly feelings toward her.

[emopunk]

I have a problem with my girlfriend's exes. I can handle her talking about them (its hardly ever in a good light.) She has a problem with my exes, but asks about them from time to time, so I can talk about them. But make no mistake, I have absolutely no contact with them and have made it clear that I don't care to hear from them anymore. She has done the same.

 

Exes are nothing but trouble for everyone. Either for you or him. She's trouble for you if he's not over her. She's trouble for him because if it continues, you leave him.

 

What's that saying... Friends can grow into lovers, but lovers can never go back to being friends. That's true because whoever you end up with after, will never be okay being around that person knowing the kind of relationship that existed.

 

That being said, be yourself. Though I would most certainly talk to him about this before you meet her. Let him know how it feels.

[jimtash]

My ex broke up with me to get back together with her ex and even moved 600 miles to be with him even though what we had was great so yes, I know what it feels like to get the short end of the stick. But my question is since she broke it off with me so quickly for him, what will she feel like down the road about me? Last week she called and left a message for me wondering how I am doing so she still hasn't forgotten about me yet. And I spoke to her friend the other day and she says that they aren't exactly getting along so well so maybe she's regretting her decision to move away and be with him, I just don't know. But the way I was treated by her speaks volumes and I really don't feel I deserved to be tossed aside for basically nothing, so if I had to do it all over again I don't think I would. I just couldn't compete no matter how good the relationship was.