I made out with my bf's friend on a truth or dare game

[Missy395]

This happened last week but I already feel bad. My female friends and bf's friend Joel aren't going to say anything.

 

Should I let this one go and not mention it? I don't want to bring this unneeded drama. I would let it slide if my bf did that.

[Misfortune]

You made out with someone else because you wanted to, not because of a game. Seems like everyone has agreed to lie to him and pretend to be people he can trust.

 

Why do people in (monogamous) relationships, put themselves in situations like these?

[ExpatInItaly]

What the heck were you thinking? Why did you do it?

 

Yes, I think you should tell him. There is no guarantee anyone will stay quiet about this, especially his friend. It's better that he hears it from you. Sure, they're telling you that they won't reveal it...but don't necessarily expect them to stick to that. Before you made out with his friend, would you really have "let it slide" if your boyfriend made out with your friend? I doubt that.

[Missy395]

You made out with someone else because you wanted to, not because of a game. Seems like everyone has agreed to lie to him and pretend to be people he can trust.

I know but if my friends rat me out they wouldn't be my friends anymore. Friends don't snitch on each other. In a way I do consider my female friends as part of my family.

Why do people in (monogamous) relationships, put themselves in situations like these?

But I feel bad already. I won't be talking to Joel anymore.

[Missy395]

What the heck were you thinking?

I don't know. I guess I got a bit carried away with the game and we were all kind of drunk

Why did you do it?

I dared one of my friends to do something embarassing and she dared me to made out with Joel. Like I said, we were all like kind of under influence and not really thinking too much at that moment.

Before you made out with his friend, would you really have "let it slide" if your boyfriend made out with your friend? I doubt that.

I guess I would have let it slide once but it would depend on the reason. If the kiss was going on for so long then it would be upsetting. If it was just in that moment and he was sorry then ok I would let it slide.

[The Way I Am]

I know but if my friends rat me out they wouldn't be my friends anymore. Friends don't snitch on each other.

 

And girlfriends/boyfriends don't make out with other people. Why do you get to break the rules but hold other people to a higher standard?

 

I guess I would have let it slide once but it would depend on the reason. If the kiss was going on for so long then it would be upsetting. If it was just in that moment and he was sorry then ok I would let it slide.

 

If this really is something you would let slide if you were on the other end, I don't see why there's a problem telling your bf. If he has the same relationship standards as you, he'll let it slide. If he doesn't, you two aren't right for each other anyway.

 

That is assuming you actually would "let it slide". I don't think you would. You're just trying to minimize what you did. If your bf did that, you'd be pissed, and you know he'll be pissed at you, which is why you don't want to tell him.

[TaraMaiden]

this can't be for real.....

 

Can it?

 

Seriously?

 

No, surely not.....

 

No girl would be so dumb as to leave herself open to.....

 

Really.....?

 

Ta-rolloling, maybe?

 

You're ridiculous.

 

Whether you're lying or not.

[veggirl]

this can't be for real.....

 

Can it?

 

Seriously?

 

No, surely not.....

 

No girl would be so dumb as to leave herself open to.....

 

Really.....?

 

Ta-rolloling, maybe?

 

You're ridiculous.

 

Whether you're lying or not.

 

I think it's more of a case of this is a teenage girl poster. Im guessing 95 is her birth year.

 

In which case, OP you won't end up with this bf of yours anyway so....I don't know, just ride it out, someone will end up telling him and it'll be drama rama, so you should do it yourself.

 

Even if one of your friends doesnt tell him, they will tell someone...so on and so forth. HE WILL FIND OUT.

 

Woman up and tell him.

[twosadthings]

Lousy boundaries, bad choices, sucky friends. Tell him, he's going to find out if he already hasn't.

 

Just sayin',

 

Twosadthings

[soccerrprp]

This happened last week but I already feel bad. My female friends and bf's friend Joel aren't going to say anything.

 

Should I let this one go and not mention it? I don't want to bring this unneeded drama. I would let it slide if my bf did that.

 

Huge, conscious mistake. There's nothing more silly than to use a game as an excuse for something that you wanted to do and did. And how utterly irresponsible to be involved in a game that promotes infidelity and foolish behavior.

 

I don't, for a moment, believe that you would LET it slide if you're boyfriend did the same. You would, at least, be consciously consumed by the visual of your bf sticking his tongue down another girls for days, months to come.

 

Like someone else said, why and how did you get yourself into this?

[crederer]

There's no way this is real. No one is this stupid.

[ExpatInItaly]

There's no way this is real. No one is this stupid.

 

You give humans too much credit

[Leigh 87]

I wouldn't do that to my boyfriend.

 

Those of us who have an ounce of maturity (not saying I have that in spades or anything) would not agree to kiss another person just because we played truth or dare....

 

Look. When I was 20 - 24, I refrained from dating, since I did not want a serious relationship, as I knew I was not ready to settle down emotionally speaking. I am still working towards that at age almost 27...

 

I suggest you take a break from dating. You obviously don't know what you want. If you found a guy you liked enough or had true feelings for you could stuff it up anyway due to being young and immature; that is even if you know what true feelings are yet, opposed to lust driven feelings.

 

Just be single please. This guy may actually have some semblance of maturity to him, and could be quiet p*ssed at you over this.

[Missy395]

And girlfriends/boyfriends don't make out with other people. Why do you get to break the rules but hold other people to a higher standard?

I already know we're not suppose to make out with other people and feel bad. How many times do I have to mention that? Also one of my good female friend is a gold-digger and obviously not a good gf to her current bf but would I go tell guys about that? Nope; how she treats her current bf has nothing to do with our friendship.

 

It's one thing to have made a mistake in your relationship but it's another to betray a friend.

 

Regarding my ages, yes the poster is correct. I was born in March 1995.

[Missy395]

LOL. My thoughts, exactly. Obviously, someone got into daddy's liquor cabinet. I have things in my freezer older than this kid.

My oldest female friend is 22 years old. She bought the liquor.

[Missy395]

Somehow, I get the feeling this is a bias site. I get the feeling people were hurt by way more than their bf/gf making out for a very brief stupid moment.

 

I did briefly read a couple of threads and apparently the one that cheated did a lot more than I did. I guess that explains it the overreactions.

 

Fine, I'm going to tell my bf about the stupid truth or dare making-out session with Joel. As if telling the truth but nothing but the truth so help you god is the correct and literal way to all at all times....

[Zahara]

It's one thing to have made a mistake in your relationship but it's another to betray a friend.

 

Let's not be selective with the term "betray". You did that to your boyfriend. You were disloyal to your boyfriend by stepping out and sucking face with another man. If it helps you term your betrayal as a "mistake" when it comes to your relationship so that it's more acceptable in your head, then let that suit your conscience. But at the end of the day, it is what it is.

[Missy395]

Let's not be selective with the term "betray". You did that to your boyfriend. You were disloyal to your boyfriend by stepping out and sucking face with another man. If it helps you term your betrayal as a "mistake" when it comes to your relationship so that it's more acceptable in your head, then let that suit your conscience. But at the end of the day, it is what it is.

I understand and yes I'm going to write my bf a message through his facebook explaining what happened. I can't see him today because he's working now and is his aunt's birthday.

 

I guess the reason I think betraying a friend is worse than a bf is because it takes a long time to find a friend and that's the first bond you form when you're a kid. I would feel more hurt if a friend betray me than if my bf cheated.

Edited September 23, 2013 by Missy395

[Els]

How OLD are you!?!?!?

[Missy395]

How OLD are you!?!?!?

I'm 18. As another poster mentioned 95 is my birth year. Just graduated recently on May 31st.

[ExpatInItaly]

I understand and yes I'm going to write my bf a message through his facebook explaining what happened. I can't see him today because he's working now and is his aunt's birthday.

 

I guess the reason I think betraying a friend is worse than a bf is because it takes a long time to find a friend and that's the first bond you form when you're a kid. I would feel more hurt if a friend betray me than if my bf cheated.

 

Do NOT break this news over FB. OP, grow a pair and tell him to his face. Do it the next time you see him. Do it before someone else "accidentally" mentions it, You made a big mistake. Don't hide behind your computer and take the weak way out by messaging him - your boyfriend deserves a heck of a lot more than that! Goodness...

[Try]

Fine, I'm going to tell my bf about the stupid truth or dare making-out session with Joel. As if telling the truth but nothing but the truth so help you god is the correct and literal way to all at all times....

Actually Missy, telling the truth to your significant other is always the correct thing to do. Please understand that there is a good chance that he will find out from someone, and you may not even know who. If he finds out later, he will feel very betrayed not just by you but by people that he thought were his friends. It really hurts to be on the outside when you learn that a group of people that you trusted, agreed to keep a secret just from you.

[The Way I Am]

Also one of my good female friend is a gold-digger and obviously not a good gf to her current bf but would I go tell guys about that? Nope; how she treats her current bf has nothing to do with our friendship.

 

You might want to be more selective about your friends.

 

Somehow, I get the feeling this is a bias site. I get the feeling people were hurt by way more than their bf/gf making out for a very brief stupid moment.

 

In my case, you would be wrong. I dated a guy for several years who I'm pretty sure was dating other women at the time. And a few others I dated briefly who I also am pretty sure for various reasons were with other women. But no, nothing that I said is because I have any bias from being hurt due to being cheated on.

 

You're right that some posters are bitter men who find fault with almost everything a woman says or does and hurl insults and bitterness. But surprisingly, your thread if pretty-much free of that.

 

If it makes you feel better to think that you're getting only nasty, biased responses instead of realistic advice to own up to the consequences of your actions, then that's your choice.

 

As if telling the truth but nothing but the truth so help you god is the correct and literal way to all at all times....

 

I'm surprised you're 18. With this type of attitude, I would have put you at 15 - 16 max.

 

I understand and yes I'm going to write my bf a message through his facebook explaining what happened. I can't see him today because he's working now and is his aunt's birthday.

 

Right idea. Kudos for that, but sending "I made out with your friend" via facebook is tacky.

[Space Ritual]

I'm 18. As another poster mentioned 95 is my birth year. Just graduated recently on May 31st.

 

Just tell him and be prepared for the consequences. Too many people know and he will find out and it's probably better he finds out from you.

 

Always remember the axiom of New Orleans Mob leader Carlos Marcello....

 

"3 people can keep a secret if 2 are dead".

 

What I mean by that in you situation is that you can swear your friends to secrecy but that does not mean a thing. He will find out from one of them.

[Missy395]

Do NOT break this news over FB. OP, grow a pair and tell him to his face. Do it the next time you see him. Do it before someone else "accidentally" mentions it, You made a big mistake. Don't hide behind your computer and take the weak way out by messaging him - your boyfriend deserves a heck of a lot more than that! Goodness...

I've already seen the message and got the reply of ''Ok now I'm mad. Let's talk about it tomorrow''.

 

Well I'm now waiting to see how it goes tomorrow.