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Body language and actions Vs words which to believe?


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In either direction favoring a relationship or disfavoring a relationship which should one take more seriously? A potential mate's actions or their words.

 

i.e. They say all the words that one would if they like you or love you but they act like they are lukewarm or perhaps don't like you? They say they love you then they hit you. They say they want to be with you, then they cheat on you.

 

Conversely they say they don't like you or won't gon on a "date" with you. But then are always hanging around with you, are affectionate, do all the relationship like things up to and including sex. Yet when it's time to put words to it...

 

 

Those are more established relationship examples. In the early "dating stages" simmilar things happen.

 

If a woman gives a man all the buying signals. The looks, the touches, the body language, the hanging out all the time with you. Maybe even some physical affection.... then won't "go out" officially what is more important.

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I follow, due to some harsh life lessons, a pretty simple rule:

 

Negative actions/words are negative, and prevail wrt decision-making; positive words are only perceived positively if the actions which they indicate back them up. Otherwise, they are carbon dioxide. In all instances, neutral, meaning not caring one way or another, controls unless and until movement in a negative or positive direction occurs.

 

Concurrently, I never trust the veracity of a lady's relationship status unless/until it is verified independently. I've had my fill of that.

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If you're in a relationship, you need to take both seriously. Actions DO speak louder than words and you need to be loved and not hit by your partner - if they act like they don't like you or outright abuse you, it's bad. Leave.

 

If you're not in a relationship, you need to take the words seriously. No means no. Leave it at that, whether you're talking about dating or anything else. If they won't "go out officially" there's a reason for that. They don't want to.

 

 

When I said physical affection.....I meant up to and including sex. I have been in that situation and known others who will have someone want to do all the dating and relationshippy things but never call it that.

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If someone is telling you they don't want a relationship, or to date you, thank them for their honesty and believe them.

 

If you choose to spend time with them and get sexual anyway, do not assume that their behavior means they really do want a relationship. They want what they are getting, but not a relationship. If you are ok with those terms, have at it. If you are not, it is on you to back away from the situation that is unhealthy for you.

 

Essentially, they want all the pleasures (when they want them) without any of the responsibilities.

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