What the heck is wrong with me?

[Crazy_Love]

My MM treats me like dirt, tosses a few crumbs and yet I don't leave him. It's not about sex, we rarely have that but I don't understand it. There are perfectly decent single men who are interested in me but the feelings aren't there for them, not like for MM. Why do I love him? Ugh I'm so confused. I want to pull away but I'm afraid of the pain and it hurts to be with him too. What is wrong with me that I accept this from him?

[whichwayisup]

Start googling and find blogs and .com sites that you can read up on why you're settling for less and treating yourself so poorly. Low self esteem, insecurity, weakness, etc.. Allowing someone who is selfish to take advantage of you.. Google it all!

 

What is it that you love about him. do a list.

What is it that you hate about him. do a list.

 

Ask yourself what you are getting out of this - do a list.

Ask yourself what he is getting out of this - do a list.

 

What do you love about 'you'? Do that list.

What are all your good qualities. List!

 

Now, stay positive and see that the MM you're with is a total using scumbag who puts himself first and is using you. Sure he may have affectionate feelings for you but he is NOT in love with you. Men who treat women like crap have issues. He's cruel and it's intentional so he gets total control. he knows how to play you, push your buttons so he can get his way.

 

See him in a negative way now, push him off that kings chair because king he ain't!

 

Focus on how sh.tty he makes you feel. Focus on what an ahole he is.

 

Make yourself detach by keeping busy and being around true friends and family who really love and care about you.

 

Seek counseling too because staying with someone who treats you so badly and doesn't have your best interest at heart means something in you is broken and needs to be fixed.

 

Hugs.

[missy268]

I know, it's absolutely crazy isn't it! I know exactly where you are coming from.

 

my ex AP wasn't married, he was just in a long term relationship, so he could have left if he wanted to, but chose not to. It go complicated as he left twice, the 2nd time we were together, he ran off with somebody else and is now with her and not me!

 

I look at myself and think do i really deserve this? and the answer is no! and neither do you, nobody does.

 

Your MM treats you like he does because you allow him to for whatever reason, fear of losing him? fear of being alone? allsorts could be causing it.

 

He treats you the way he does because of the issues within himself, it is nothing to do with you. He is having an affair because of issues with himself. He's selfish!

 

It is all about self esteem, I agree with the above post. You have to be strong and think, no why am i putting up with this, when there are single guys out there who wouldn't! I know you say you don't have the feelings there like you do for you MM, but unfortunatly you have got to cut him loose and spend some time working on you before you may develop feelings for other guys.

 

Letting go is really hard, but it's so much better than living in this world where you know you're sharing your man with somebody else, and he is treating you like he does.

 

You need to love yourself enough to say that you have had enough, do the above post , remember what he puts you through, and you will get over it, but not over night, it takes time!!

 

its hard but it's worth it!

 

xx