Ex contacts me weeks after big fight, and ignoring me.

[BC1980]

that's what i'm trying to say. the time is not right at all. we need to heal, she's adding more drama. i didn't say i was going to contact her, but you're right i am looking for a reconciliation, but if i give in and give her the jacket i get nowhere, i give her the power. if i ignore her, she gets angry, manipulates me, and hates me forever. its a lose lose situation.

 

I don't think she will hate you. If she did, that is pretty childish. Honestly, this girl is fishing for a reason to contact you or make you mad. It deserves no reply. Just a simple ignore is a very powerful statement and also the easiest one to make. All you do is sit back and forget about the email.

[Jiminy Cricket]

should i even read the rest of the email too know what her intentions are??

[Simon Phoenix]

should i even read the rest of the email too know what her intentions are??

 

No, what's the point? Stop grasping at straws.

[Jiminy Cricket]

now she just sent a text msg saying "please read your email immediately, it's very important!"

[Simon Phoenix]

now she just sent a text msg saying "please read your email immediately, it's very important!"

 

Doesn't matter, don't respond. She doesn't have the right to monopolize your time.

[Jiminy Cricket]

how does she even know i didn't read the email?!? damn i didn't know having the jacket back was this important!

[Simon Phoenix]

how does she even know i didn't read the email?!? damn i didn't know having the jacket back was this important!

 

She doesn't. She just assumes you didn't because you haven't responded. And who gives a sh*t about the jacket? It's yours. You need to stop being a wuss and overanalyzing this. She's being petty -- stop letting it affect you.

[cavalier99]

I always advocate saying F*ck off. Didnt read email. Deleted. Dont contact me again as i will not recieve it or see your email or texts. you are now blocked.

 

Then block her! Nothing better that dropping the nuclear bomb of no return to propell your recovery foward. No looking back bro! Cav

 

or stay NC and block. i did the 1st option and worked for me but is was really early in the BU. I wouldnt break NC if youve been NC for a while. But you need to block.

Edited September 24, 2013 by cavalier99

[Jiminy Cricket]

damn, i'm not trying to be an ******* like that. but it does feel nice to know she's getting mad at me for going n/c. lol.

[Jiminy Cricket]

after our breakup, she told me to take our pet to the vet, (which she kept for herself, and never lets me she him.) i ended up missing work, paying all the medical fee's and got no appreciation in return. i know better now to never do her a favor again.

[cavalier99]

damn, i'm not trying to be an ******* like that. but it does feel nice to know she's getting mad at me for going n/c. lol.

 

All cool man. One reason I say to do what i did isnt so much because youd be upset with her. Believe me they expect you to be mad. It is for you to sever all ties and kill hope.

 

Getting a pleasure out of her being mad and texting and emailing you is natural but it is sorta a problem. You really dont want to know if she is mad or happy. All this knowledge and drama keeps you tied to her and stifles healing. I guarantee soon she wont be mad any more. She will disappear again which is exactly what you want but it will be more painful if you are looking at your phone or email for communication.

 

Better to just no know about it. That is why blocking is so important. Go out on your terms and take your power back. Empower your self. Remember your end goal is indifference. This is the holy grail of recovery and should be your only goal in relationship to her....and killing hope is one of the 1st big steps.

 

The email. i recommended is to kill hope but however you want to kill it is up to you but it is essential to healing. Rock on! Cav

Edited September 24, 2013 by cavalier99

[Jiminy Cricket]

now she sent another text saying "i have someone interested in buying it, please respond by the end of the week."

 

knowing that she's selling it, makes me pissed off.

[cavalier99]

now she sent another text saying "i have someone interested in buying it, please respond by the end of the week."

 

knowing that she's selling it, makes me pissed off.

 

Do you have it in you to block her?? This will be a huge step to healing. It will take a lot longer to get over this if you dont. Cav

[LifeIsGreat]

If you really want to send her a signal letting her know you are moving on, I would simply put it in a box and mail it to her. No note, no text, no conversation.

[BC1980]

Do not respond to this girl. She is awful for doing what she is doing. Who tries to sell gifts they gave an ex and contacts the ex to get them back? Seriously?

[Simon Phoenix]

If you really want to send her a signal letting her know you are moving on, I would simply put it in a box and mail it to her. No note, no text, no conversation.

 

That's is one of the worst ideas ever. First of all, it's his jacket -- she didn't give it to him to borrow or rent, she gave it to him as a gift. Second, it tells her that he's still on the hook and that all she has to do is throw a fit and he'll do whatever she wants.

[Simon Phoenix]

Do not respond to this girl. She is awful for doing what she is doing. Who tries to sell gifts they gave an ex and contacts the ex to get them back? Seriously?

 

Yeah, this is one of the more despicably petty things I've ever heard.

[Simon Phoenix]

What would be funny is if you pulled a Seinfeld and re-gifted it -- gave it to someone else.

[lauri]

What would be funny is if you pulled a Seinfeld and re-gifted it -- gave it to someone else.

 

hahahaha that would be hilarious.

[Jiminy Cricket]

lol that's f*cked up. but seriously, she knows how much the jacket means to me. it was a symbol of the relationship. all of our memories and pictures of me wearing it. my team has a perfect record every single time i wore it. had it for years.

 

now she's selling it to someone?! she keeps saying she's not about the money, and not a material girl. i know damn well she's not struggling too, she makes good money!

[LifeIsGreat]

I see your point. At the same time, I feel pretty sure she is actually expecting him NOT to return it since she realizes it means so much to him. I would return it without saying a word, then go buy myself my own jacket.

 

If he returns it, I feel sure he will hear from her again since she is trying to reactions/interaction with him. Mailing the jacket back is not really an interaction. Once she has the jacket back don't respond to any other communciation.

[Simon Phoenix]

lol that's f*cked up. but seriously, she knows how much the jacket means to me. it was a symbol of the relationship. all of our memories and pictures of me wearing it. my team has a perfect record every single time i wore it. had it for years.

 

now she's selling it to someone?! she keeps saying she's not about the money, and not a material girl. i know damn well she's not struggling too, she makes good money!

 

Honestly, if you are keeping it because it's a symbol of your relationship, that a terrible reason to keep it, especially with the mounting evidence that your ex is just an awful person. Keep the jacket because you like it, not because it reminds you of good times with your awful, awful ex.

 

I was joking before, but if I were you, I'd give it to someone else or sell the thing on Ebay or craiglist if you are keeping it solely because it's a reminder of her. I mean, keeping it because it reminds you of her is pretty beta and emo and is just another way you are trying to hold out hope for reuniting with this horrible person. But if you actually enjoy wearing it independent of her, keep it.

 

I wore a pair of sunglasses my ex bought me all the time, but I wore them because they were a great pair of sunglasses, not because they were a symbol of her. I mean, I didn't even think of the connection between the sunglasses and her until I lost them a month ago at a wedding and had to buy a new pair. I certainly didn't keep them as a memory of her.

[Simon Phoenix]

I see your point. At the same time, I feel pretty sure she is actually expecting him NOT to return it since she realizes it means so much to him. I would return it without saying a word, then go buy myself my own jacket.

 

If he returns it, I feel sure he will hear from her again since she is trying to reactions/interaction with him. Mailing the jacket back is not really an interaction. Once she has the jacket back don't respond to any other communciation.

 

I disagree vehemently with this. Not because she's his ex -- but just because her behavior is despicable and should not be rewarded in any way. I think he'd be better off just giving away the jacket, selling it on his own or burning the thing.

 

What might be kind of money is if he sold the jacket and mailed her a check with her cut of the profits with a receipt of sale, then stopped responding. Yes it'd be petty, but it would be fitting of her pettiness. She'd have her money and it'd be hilarious.

[Jiminy Cricket]

Honestly, if you are keeping it because it's a symbol of your relationship, that a terrible reason to keep it, especially with the mounting evidence that your ex is just an awful person. Keep the jacket because you like it, not because it reminds you of good times with your awful, awful ex.

 

I was joking before, but if I were you, I'd give it to someone else or sell the thing on Ebay or craiglist if you are keeping it solely because it's a reminder of her. I mean, keeping it because it reminds you of her is pretty beta and emo and is just another way you are trying to hold out hope for reuniting with this horrible person. But if you actually enjoy wearing it independent of her, keep it.

 

I wore a pair of sunglasses my ex bought me all the time, but I wore them because they were a great pair of sunglasses, not because they were a symbol of her. I mean, I didn't even think of the connection between the sunglasses and her until I lost them a month ago at a wedding and had to buy a new pair. I certainly didn't keep them as a memory of her.

 

 

 

well it is a vintage NFL starter jacket, its nearly 30 years old. its from the era when my team won all the super bowls. its rare, and i get compliments on it all the time. don't get me wrong, i do enjoy wearing it.

 

my ex wasn't all this bad before, she was amazing even. our breakup wasn't that bad either, we had talks about getting back together even.

 

but things got sour, and she's become this mega b*tch! she's not the same person i use to know, and i'm not either. i'm developing an anger problem because of her.

[Simon Phoenix]

well it is a vintage NFL starter jacket, its nearly 30 years old. its from the era when my team won all the super bowls. its rare, and i get compliments on it all the time. don't get me wrong, i do enjoy wearing it.

 

my ex wasn't all this bad before, she was amazing even. our breakup wasn't that bad either, we had talks about getting back together even.

 

but things got sour, and she's become this mega b*tch! she's not the same person i use to know, and i'm not either. i'm developing an anger problem because of her.

 

Well, you need to block her then. If her awfulness is having that negative of an effect on your behavior, then you need to not let her have any sort of way to contact you.