Jump to content

Girl I like captions photo as "Me and my boyfriend <3" but tells me she doesn't?

fmfan08

By fmfan08
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
Posted

I've been getting to know this girl and vice versa, but I saw on her twitter recently that she uploaded this picture (blurred out for reasons): http://oi39.tinypic.com/k2e989.jpg with the caption "Me and my boyfriend (twitter name) <3"

 

So I asked her directly if she has a boyfriend (to know where I stand) and she replied "No I don't".

 

Although I saw on twitter he tweeted "I want to go to sleep but i'll be pissed off that I've wasted my evening and the only other option is going for a social drink, cba!" and she replies a couple of minutes later with "check your dm ? x". (monkey smiley covering it's mouth)

 

I know these two are good mates, they both have the same social circle with the same guy/girl mates. She captioned her other photo with her girl mate as "Me and my wife".

 

She told me she doesn't have a boyfriend, but I'm not sure if she's telling me the truth? Someone suggested it could be an inside joke or sarcasm, but there's NOTHING else on her twitter or from her best friends that suggest she's in a relationship.

 

Should I wait to see if anything plays out rather than inquiring more about it? I'll look at other options in the meantime though

Misfortune Established Member

Misfortune

Posted
Posted

I know females always did "my wife" stuff but the "my boyfriend" thing is new to me; they both bother me since everyone seems to be gay/bi these days.

 

I would back off and just let it be. You don't know what people relations are with someone anymore. There's no need to stress it unless you're dating or in an exclusive relationship.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I know females always did "my wife" stuff but the "my boyfriend" thing is new to me; they both bother me since everyone seems to be gay/bi these days.

 

I would back off and just let it be. You don't know what people relations are with someone anymore. There's no need to stress it unless you're dating or in an exclusive relationship.

 

Well after she said "No I don't" to the boyfriend thing, I jokingly said we should drop our grumpy faces, she replied later on with "You started it", then another message saying "again". I told her that I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions in the past, then made a joke about having plastic surgery to keep the smiley face on.

 

She replied a minute later with "We will see". Still getting short answers, but asked how her exams went.

 

Would it be wise to call her out and say that I know she has a boyfriend? It would show my lack of trust saying she's lying..

 

I was thinking that if she replies to my question about her exams, that I should say "Knew you were a clever clogs. Bet your boyfriend’s impressed ;)" to see what reaction I get

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Girls are weird and say confusing crap like that all the time.

 

You need to look at things logically. You started to do so, but you side tracked yourself.

 

You've already noted that none of her friends have hinted or indicated that she has a boyfriend or is in a relationship.

 

If she was cheating on her boyfriend, she would probably hide this guy from you. NOT put pics of her and him together KNOWING you can see them! Doesn't make sense!

 

She put them up there because she knows she has nothing to hide. That their relationship is innocent and nothing more than a friendship. Now, if that pic was of the two of them looking longingly at each other and he had his hands on her ass....I would question that.

 

Next time you see her, just be honest with her so you don't come off as some jealous asshat. Just tell her, " Sorry about the text the other day. I saw that pic and it got me a little confused. I just didn't want to make any waves if that were the case." and leave it at that.

  • Like 1
  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Girls are weird and say confusing crap like that all the time.

 

You need to look at things logically. You started to do so, but you side tracked yourself.

 

You've already noted that none of her friends have hinted or indicated that she has a boyfriend or is in a relationship.

 

If she was cheating on her boyfriend, she would probably hide this guy from you. NOT put pics of her and him together KNOWING you can see them! Doesn't make sense!

 

She put them up there because she knows she has nothing to hide. That their relationship is innocent and nothing more than a friendship. Now, if that pic was of the two of them looking longingly at each other and he had his hands on her ass....I would question that.

 

Next time you see her, just be honest with her so you don't come off as some jealous asshat. Just tell her, " Sorry about the text the other day. I saw that pic and it got me a little confused. I just didn't want to make any waves if that were the case." and leave it at that.

 

I wish you were the logistical part of my brain, it's an answer I was looking for from someone who can throw some logic to each of her actions.

 

In our conversation, when she gave me the answer I said something like "Ah right, just seemed misleading", then I dropped the subject (you can see how that went in my second post)

 

She has a real close friendship with her girl mates (they live together) and they've mentioned nothing in their tweets. In fact, this girl herself hasn't mentioned anything at all except for this picture. Her relationship status on facebook is "widowed" also, she uses that a lot. She has a LOT of guy mates too, they all have the same social circle.

 

I take it you saw the picture I linked? Blurred but you can make out the over exaggerated smile. She does have a lot of pictures on her instagram that are similar, it's just the "me and my boyfriend <3" caption throws me off completely. (I'm also worried that they may be sat down and she's on his lap or something haha)

 

Her reply to him on Twitter saying "check your dm (emoticon) x" still makes me wonder though.

 

I've asked about her exams, if she replies then I'll reply tomorrow as I want to appear busy at least.

 

Would it be wise to reply "Knew you were a clever clogs. Bet your boyfriend’s impressed? ;)" as a joke to see her reaction?

Edited by fmfan08
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

LOL! Yeah, I saw the pic. Blurry chicks are hot!!:laugh:

 

But, if the guy is 7 foot tall, then she's not sitting in his lap, he's too far back in the shot and leaning too far forward from what I can make out. Looks like that it was a screenshot and he was sitting behind her. And so what if she has an exaggerated smile on her face. Just be thankful it wasn't a duck face!

 

Look, sounds like you REALLY like this girl. Then, make your move. But, be warned! You having a look on how she behaves with others! She may call friends girlfriends and boyfriends and she may even take pictures with guys that seem a little too close for your liking. Can you contain your jealousy? Because if you can't then I wouldn't even bother. Plus! You don't know if her behavior alters once she enters into a relationship. Right now, she doesn't have to worry about what some guy thinks of a pic, because there's no guy to complain about them! So, she might be the type of girl that when she commits to one guy; then, she becomes committed.

 

So, until she agrees to be yours, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

 

 

So, stop tiptoeing around this chick and ask her out on a date!!! If you need date ideas! I got a ton of them! But, go get her! If she says she isn't dating anyone, then believe her until you have a valid reason not too!

 

Next time you talk to her tell her that she lied to you about dating someone! If she says, "Dude, I'm not dating anyone!" Come back at her and say, " Yes you are. Me! On Saturday night! I'll pick you up at 6!" Then, walk away like a boss!

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
LOL! Yeah, I saw the pic. Blurry chicks are hot!!:laugh:

 

But, if the guy is 7 foot tall, then she's not sitting in his lap, he's too far back in the shot and leaning too far forward from what I can make out. Looks like that it was a screenshot and he was sitting behind her. And so what if she has an exaggerated smile on her face. Just be thankful it wasn't a duck face!

 

Look, sounds like you REALLY like this girl. Then, make your move. But, be warned! You having a look on how she behaves with others! She may call friends girlfriends and boyfriends and she may even take pictures with guys that seem a little too close for your liking. Can you contain your jealousy? Because if you can't then I wouldn't even bother. Plus! You don't know if her behavior alters once she enters into a relationship. Right now, she doesn't have to worry about what some guy thinks of a pic, because there's no guy to complain about them! So, she might be the type of girl that when she commits to one guy; then, she becomes committed.

 

So, until she agrees to be yours, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

 

 

So, stop tiptoeing around this chick and ask her out on a date!!! If you need date ideas! I got a ton of them! But, go get her! If she says she isn't dating anyone, then believe her until you have a valid reason not too!

 

Next time you talk to her tell her that she lied to you about dating someone! If she says, "Dude, I'm not dating anyone!" Come back at her and say, " Yes you are. Me! On Saturday night! I'll pick you up at 6!" Then, walk away like a boss!

 

Yeah, guess I do like this girl. I don't show her I'm jealous, but I was direct to her just so I knew where I stood.

 

My only problem is she's away at University at the moment. We've mostly been penpals at the moment getting to know each other. The thing is we haven't met, just phoned, messaged and skyped. That's why it seems silly, I shouldn't be feeling like this because of the situation, but I do and it's annoying.

 

Shouldn't I go with the "bet your boyfriend would be proud of your exam results ;)" thing? Someone suggested that it would show I'm insecure to her and that it looks like it's bothering me.

 

The thing about saying "she's lying to me" looks like I don't have any trust for her though

Misfortune Established Member

Misfortune

Posted
Posted

Why do you insist on rubbing her "boyfriend" in her face?

  • Like 1
  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Why do you insist on rubbing her "boyfriend" in her face?

 

Alright, that seems the que to abandon that idea. I guess the more I see that picture and that I saw her say to him today "Check your dm x" with that emoticon at the end kind of makes me wonder if she's lying now for some reason. It just seems a REALLY odd caption.

 

If she's acting all short with me because I've been jumping to conclusions recently, I suppose why would she say she doesn't have a boyfriend, yet still replies to me to give me short sentences? Couldn't she just say "I have a boyfriend" if she does or doesn't just to get rid of me? Or just flat out ignore me?

Misfortune Established Member

Misfortune

Posted
Posted

She could be lying or she could be telling the truth, doesn't matter until you're in a relationship with her. Some people change and become very loyal when they're in relationships.

 

If you keep bringing that up to her she'll probably view you as the overly jealous type. Playing it cool is your best bet IMO.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
She could be lying or she could be telling the truth, doesn't matter until you're in a relationship with her. Some people change and become very loyal when they're in relationships.

 

If you keep bringing that up to her she'll probably view you as the overly jealous type. Playing it cool is your best bet IMO.

 

I agree on second thoughts. I'll look even more insecure than I do already. I think i'll have to sit back and see how it goes, or if I see she uploads more photos with him in. In the meantime, I'll go along with casual conversation and getting to know her like we did previously.

 

Conversation I saw between them a couple of days before that picture was: (I hate doing this, I feel like a right stalker but if it helps)

 

Her replying to his tweet saying "are you going to (one of her close girl mates) tomorrow? I miss you, little tinker."

 

guy - "course I f*cking am! am I actually invited hahaha? where and when and who and why and where?

girl - "It's in (city name) at (girls name) house! Then maybe out in town.. Please come <3 i'll pick you up from the train station xxxx

guy - "i'll text you tomorrow at about 2pm if i'm deffo coming xxxxxxx".

Her - "i've broken my charger ..whats the crack? x

guy - "OIIIII! i'll ring you or (girls name) as soon as I get there

her - ring (girls name) because i've got no battery or charger. time you planning on getting there?xx

 

I don't like doing this, feels bad but part of me would like some clarification I guess without talking to her about it. I've been direct and she says she doesn't have a boyfriend, it's something I have to acknowledge or i'll look even more insecure. It's not as if we're committed for her to actually tell me anyway.

Edited by fmfan08
crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

Maybe he's gay or something.

 

She said no, I'd take her on her word and if she has a boyfriend you'll find out pretty quick. Just don't fall head over heals for her until you figure it out.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Dude, you're not stalking her you're reading her tweets THAT SHE PUTS OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!!!

 

Anyway can you make plans to go out there and visit? Hell, this guy's is taking the train out there! No reason you can't! The way the texts are written tells me you're either in the UK or Ireland. If this is the case, your entire country is about the size of my state! Can't be too far for a visit!

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Maybe he's gay or something.

 

She said no, I'd take her on her word and if she has a boyfriend you'll find out pretty quick. Just don't fall head over heals for her until you figure it out.

 

To be honest, captioning a photo of "Me and my boyfriend <3" would be the obvious smack in the face to know if a girl has a boyfriend :laugh: But she said she doesn't, you're right in that I have to take her word for it.. Otherwise it shows I don't have trust.

 

I'll take a laid back approach and talk to her normally. I think she assumes that I'll jump to conclusions again or something, so she's acting short with me because of it. So I think it's right just to have a general conversation with her, but if she continues to act off then I will see this as her test to see if I get frustrated.

Edited by fmfan08
  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I also just realised, I said to her that I followed her on twitter when I told her about seeing that picture.. (excuse to avoid looking like i was stalking/snooping) I'm wondering if she's seeing this as a chance to play mind games or something to spark my jealousy? As it is making me feel jealous, I'm just trying to divert that on these forums than in my messages to her.

 

I mean today, she sent that "Check your dm x" to him knowing that I'd probably see it. She knows that I have no idea what private message she sent to him.

 

Just saying, there's an opportunity there to play some sort of jealousy game if she isn't in a relationship with this guy.

 

Dude, you're not stalking her you're reading her tweets THAT SHE PUTS OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!!!

 

Anyway can you make plans to go out there and visit? Hell, this guy's is taking the train out there! No reason you can't! The way the texts are written tells me you're either in the UK or Ireland. If this is the case, your entire country is about the size of my state! Can't be too far for a visit!

 

That's true, she could have messaged him the details, but still if you're stalking someone in real life it's like saying it's right because they walked out their door this morning :D I still feel like it's stalkerish though, because it tempts me to go looking for things like that.

 

Regarding the guy taking the train, they both go to the same university in another city. This place they're going to is where her best girl mate lives (her hometown) so she's having to drive 40 miles there as she drives a car

Edited by fmfan08
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Most girls usually love telling the entire WORLD that they have a boyfriend. Especially when they're treating them right! She would have tweeted sappy tweets here and there.

 

Then and again, this dude could be FWB. You just don't know until you actually start talking to her. I mean, REALLY start talking to her as far as where this relationship would go.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Most girls usually love telling the entire WORLD that they have a boyfriend. Especially when they're treating them right! She would have tweeted sappy tweets here and there.

 

Then and again, this dude could be FWB. You just don't know until you actually start talking to her. I mean, REALLY start talking to her as far as where this relationship would go.

 

Now I think of it, on her Facebook when she was in a relationship years ago (facebook has some history tab that goes 2009, 2010, etc) I noticed a lot of her statuses when she was with someone was "Using (name's) credit card to buy something, or "waiting for (name) to finish work".

 

My only problem is, she's a little discouraged by the idea of meeting me because I am a stranger and she wants us to skype/facetime a lot more (see each other face to face) before she would meet.

 

I think I might have come on a bit strong too if I really think about it. Maybe, because we've never met, wouldn't it be best to be there as a friend to build up the trust? Then I can get to know her and that, but throw in some flirting of course. Obviously she MAY meet someone else during that time, unless she has now with that guy.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted

What do you think to this? Since I told her I would be following her on twitter yesterday, Today she sent a tweet to that guy saying "Check your dm x" with some emoticon at the end (which you know) couldn't she have just texted what she needed to message him? He has a phone.

 

It's like she knew that I would check her profile and see it (because I saw that picture) and she's maybe trying to flaunt that she's contacting him privately?

 

Because if I was messaging someone I liked, I'd either phone them or text them, I wouldn't send them a private message on Twitter, let alone sending a tweet to remind them to check their private message (would look needy).

 

In other words, I get the impression she's using it to her advantage :laugh: Just a thought

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

And here's another thought...

 

 

Do you honestly think that she wrote to him telling him that he has a direct message ONLY to tell him, "Hey, look...I know you're my boyfriend. But, there's this guy that I've been flirting with online. So, could you do me a favor and keep the fact that you're my boyfriend on the down low? I don't want to give this guy the wrong impression because I told him I was single."

 

I'm sure he said, "Yeah, sure babe! Anything you want!"

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
And here's another thought...

 

 

Do you honestly think that she wrote to him telling him that he has a direct message ONLY to tell him, "Hey, look...I know you're my boyfriend. But, there's this guy that I've been flirting with online. So, could you do me a favor and keep the fact that you're my boyfriend on the down low? I don't want to give this guy the wrong impression because I told him I was single."

 

I'm sure he said, "Yeah, sure babe! Anything you want!"

 

Nah, I didn't mean it like that. Surely if they're in a relationship, for a girl who uses her phone a lot, they'd be texting or calling instead? Why mention to him where I can see it "Check your dm x", it seems a little in my face if she's assuming that I check her profile.

 

Also, forgot to say.. because her instagram is linked to her Twitter, he replied at the time to that tweet of "Me and my boyfriend". He replied "why am I a 40 year old man hahaha", she said "i love you, anorak and all", he said "hahaha oi that's my news reporter coat leave it out", she replies "hahahaa, old man reporter anorak"

 

I should really see how this plays out to get my answer and just continue having casual conversation with her, but it just eases my mind talking about it :confused:

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Well, if your gut is telling you something, then always listen to your gut.

 

If you think that they're a little too friendly...then, you may have to consider that she's more invested in this other dude more than you. If this is the case, then how's that being fair to yourself?

 

You may have to just let this one go and find a girl closer to you that actually would be excited about a night out on the town with you. Someone you can actually touch. Not someone that doesn't want to see you in person because they're unsure.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Well, if your gut is telling you something, then always listen to your gut.

 

If you think that they're a little too friendly...then, you may have to consider that she's more invested in this other dude more than you. If this is the case, then how's that being fair to yourself?

 

You may have to just let this one go and find a girl closer to you that actually would be excited about a night out on the town with you. Someone you can actually touch. Not someone that doesn't want to see you in person because they're unsure.

 

Yeah true. Feels odd she captioned that photo like that, but there's literally no other evidence from her, him or her best mates that suggests there's a relationship. Even her facebook relationship status.

 

After acting her directly if she did have a boyfriend and being told she doesn't, I'm going to have to take her word for it. Part of me wants to erupt if it's true to make me feel better, but if she IS telling the truth then she sees me "jumping to conclusions" again, which is the reason she is acting distant/off with me at the moment.

 

I asked about her exams yesterday, she replied an hour later saying "Alright.. I got a 2:1", then I replied early the next day (as I logged out of Facebook) and I said "That's great, you clever cloggs. Knew you would pass". Not expecting a reply, but I'll try making small talk with her and keep my options open.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Just saw she replied to my message about knowing she'd pass, was an hour and a half later but she said "haha:)" (smiley came up as the text-style of smiley you use) so I'm assuming that's a smiley face but she hasn't learned how to use the space bar.

 

On the bad side, still a short answer but she didn't have to reply.. on the good side she's used a smiley/emoticon for the first time in ages.

 

I know the problem was me jumping to conclusions on things, but I had overdone the cocky/funny and teasing too. Small talk is best to see if she gets talking again, then engage in some light flirting.

 

I was actually flirting with some girl who went my college too just before, so going to keep things open. Only thing is, I don't find her as attractive but she has a good personality (i'm not shallow)

Edited by fmfan08
The Way I Am Established Member

The Way I Am

Posted
Posted

You've got waaaay too much emotionally invested in this girl. Did I read right that you haven't even met her yet?

 

If you haven't, the amount of time and energy you're putting into this is completely ridiculous. If you have at least met her, that's a little better, but you're still over the top.

 

If she has a boyfriend and your relationship actually gets to a point where that's relevant to you (like say you've even gone on one date or have any discussions about possibly dating), then you can address it head on. Obsessing on it and making creepy "what will your bf think" comments isn't going to get you your answers or accomplish anything except drive you crazy and make you look pathetic/creepy.

 

Get out and do something else besides scouring all her contact with other people and trying to decipher what every word means. Stop putting so much time into someone you've never even been on a date with. If you don't take a couple steps back, you're going to end up hurt.

  • Author
fmfan08 Established Member

fmfan08

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You've got waaaay too much emotionally invested in this girl. Did I read right that you haven't even met her yet?

 

If you haven't, the amount of time and energy you're putting into this is completely ridiculous. If you have at least met her, that's a little better, but you're still over the top.

 

If she has a boyfriend and your relationship actually gets to a point where that's relevant to you (like say you've even gone on one date or have any discussions about possibly dating), then you can address it head on. Obsessing on it and making creepy "what will your bf think" comments isn't going to get you your answers or accomplish anything except drive you crazy and make you look pathetic/creepy.

 

Get out and do something else besides scouring all her contact with other people and trying to decipher what every word means. Stop putting so much time into someone you've never even been on a date with. If you don't take a couple steps back, you're going to end up hurt.

 

You are right, I have been wasting too much time on her. I didn't make that comment though, it was a bad idea. I just told her she was a clever cloggs and knew that she would pass, then she replies "haha:)".

 

By the way, I'm not spending every waking minute looking at her contacts.. in fact I try to avoid it to over think. I'm busy with a lot of stuff during the day, just if I have free time or I end up thinking about it, I end up checking to seek some sort of clarification. And yeah, it's silly because we haven't met, but I guess really it's my ego not wanting to find that I've wasted my time.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...