Girl I like captions photo as "Me and my boyfriend <3" but tells me she doesn't?

[fmfan08]

Anyway, since her last message I'm going no contact for about 4 days until it's her birthday and will just wish her a good birthday.

 

I am keeping my options open, but if I can get her to open up with some small talk again and she starts to enjoy our conversations, i'll push for skype at first, then meeting. But if she continues to be like this, I'm not sure whether to tell her what for then remove her or something, or just cut communication.

 

Because like you said, I am way too emotionally involved with her and I wish I wasn't, but I would hate to see anything develop between her and him, which is why I would just block or delete someone so I wouldn't see it, pathetic I know.

[Chi townD]

Wow dude! You haven't even Skyped with her yet?!?!

 

Dude, you need to calm the hell down! When you break this down to bare bones, you're nothing more than a pen pal at the moment.

 

Look, blurry girl might be cute and all and fun to write to. But, you really don't know anything about her.

 

Take your time and relax, you'll scare her off in a New York minute if you don't!

[fmfan08]

Wow dude! You haven't even Skyped with her yet?!?!

 

Dude, you need to calm the hell down! When you break this down to bare bones, you're nothing more than a pen pal at the moment.

 

Look, blurry girl might be cute and all and fun to write to. But, you really don't know anything about her.

 

Take your time and relax, you'll scare her off in a New York minute if you don't!

 

We've done a lot of snapchatting, although it's hardly the same. I actually do regard her as my penpal, but we have been playing a lot of "question games" to get to know each other, as well as on the phone. But yeah, it's definitely not the same.

 

That's the annoying thing though, I know quite a bit about her but I just don't know her physically.

 

I'll take my time and relax as you say. Her last reply was "Haha:)" yesterday afternoon, I haven't replied to that and will end up not contacting again until the weekend when it is her birthday, as lately it's been 1-2 messages per day with the odd gap in between.

 

The other week, I had been double texting which was a mistake (second text was send hours after though), but since I've moved the subject onto her such as exams, etc, I've got replies quickly or within the hour. Even replies that she didn't have to send.

 

But from now on, my rule is that I send her one reply for a reply of hers. If I don't get one, the ball is in her court to contact me.

[fmfan08]

I also apologise if I seem energetic or hectic about this, I'm not actually this worked up as it looks

 

I just tend to write a lot and it helps to get it all written down, then hear advice on it.

 

It's not the sort of subject I'd consult in with a friend either.

[Chi townD]

Okay...gameplan. Don't contact her until her birthday (unless she contacts you first).

 

But, on her birthday, have flowers delivered to her at school with a Happy Birthday card attached to it. NOT ROSES!!! Just a nice flower set.... Then wait for a response.

[Chi townD]

And if you send flowers and she HAS been lying to you about a boyfriend...you might not get a response for awhile. She could be doing some damage control!

[fmfan08]

Okay...gameplan. Don't contact her until her birthday (unless she contacts you first).

 

But, on her birthday, have flowers delivered to her at school with a Happy Birthday card attached to it. NOT ROSES!!! Just a nice flower set.... Then wait for a response.

 

The second bit a no no, makes me look desperate, I'm not in a relationship and I've yet to meet her (unless you're joking )

[fmfan08]

And if you send flowers and she HAS been lying to you about a boyfriend...you might not get a response for awhile. She could be doing some damage control!

 

I'd prefer something to "test" her through a message though, in a similar way.

 

Since that picture and those replies that seemed flirty, I haven't seen her or him mention anything of a relationship of sorts and she's the sort to mention if she's with a boyfriend/waiting for him, etc. All I've seen since is that "Check your dm x" message.

 

But I've come to the point, she tends to kind of flirt with a lot of her guy mates. I'd link you one I saw but I honestly can't be bothered.

 

Why would she potentially lie though? If she's been acting short with me because I've overly teased her and jumped to conclusions previously, couldn't she just hit the nail in the coffin and say "Yes, I do have a boyfriend" so I leave her alone?

 

I know she's arranging a party or something with friends this weekend, I'd assume if this guy doesn't go then there's nothing serious and it was just an inside joke

[Chi townD]

The second bit a no no, makes me look desperate, I'm not in a relationship and I've yet to meet her (unless you're joking )

 

 

How is sending flowers to someone on their Birthday makes you look desperate?

[fmfan08]

How is sending flowers to someone on their Birthday makes you look desperate?

 

I've never done that unless I was in a relationship, just wouldn't want to look too eager and that fact I don't know her address (she lives with housemates at Uni at the moment).

 

Oh, also I came across a tweet that she sent to him a few months ago where he was criticising her favourite show (not directly to her), so she said "continue and we won't be mates". But this was like a few months ago. They seem to interact a lot in a jokey way from what I've seen, quite pally.. maybe he's her best guy mate.

 

Then again, I hear best friends can become the best relationships.

 

Honestly seeing their interaction, they seem like mates.. they seem to phone a lot and act all pally with the joking. Really does seem like interaction between two best mates. I just find the "Me and my boyfriend <3" a REALLY strange caption to use. I guess it's because I regard that as an exclusive title.

 

She knows I like her, so she might have wanted me to be jealous.

Edited September 25, 2013 by fmfan08

[fmfan08]

Oh, if this helps too, our conversation around the time. I'll just briefly say what each of us said:

 

- After saying to her i'll back off and that she knows where I am if she wants to talk, she replies "You blow things out of proportion, there isn't a problem" (not sure why she says this when there does seem to be a problem, i.e her acting short)

 

- I say that we've been misunderstanding each other with our messages and that I assume she's in a relationship (after seeing that picture). I got no reply the rest of that day so I was direct with the question and said "Do you have a boyfriend?". She says "No I don't"

 

- I mentioned it was misleading and that we should refollow each other from twitter and lose our grumpy faces (in a jokey way). She says "You started it" then a second reply saying "again".

 

- I tell her "I know, I shouldn't have" then I make a joke. She replies "We will see"

 

- Decided to change the subject and asked how her exams went, she says "Alright.. I got a 2:1" (Noticed her replies are getting quite quick)

 

- I reply "That's good, you clever cloggs. Knew you would pass" and she says "haha:)"

 

This was over the course of 3 days as I don't keep my facebook logged in, usually I shoot a message then get on with other things

[The Way I Am]

Why would she potentially lie though? If she's been acting short with me because I've overly teased her and jumped to conclusions previously, couldn't she just hit the nail in the coffin and say "Yes, I do have a boyfriend" so I leave her alone?

 

I doubt the guy's her bf. But just because he's not her bf doesn't mean she wants you to be either. Maybe she still sees you as a potential bf. Maybe she doesn't have a bf and it just didn't occur to her to lie to turn you down. I know there have been guys I wasn't interested in when I was single who asked if I had a bf and I just answered honestly without thinking about whether I needed to change my answer in order to reject them.

 

I've never done that unless I was in a relationship, just wouldn't want to look too eager and that fact I don't know her address (she lives with housemates at Uni at the moment).

 

Doing nice, considerate things doesn't make you look desperate. Asking questions trying to be casual when you're not really asking for casual reasons makes you look desperate. -- Unless you're really good at faking being casual. Buying gifts and expecting them to win the girl over usually looks desperate.

 

The reason players get girls isn't because they treat them like crap. It's because they're sweet and lavish girls with affection without bringing that smothering, desperation aspect.

 

If you send a girl flowers expecting that she'll sleep with you or be your gf because of it or you're going to be spending your free time wondering how she's interpreted the action, chances are that your words and actions after sending the flowers will come off as desperate. If you send flowers because you want to brighten her day with no expectation of anything else coming from it, and won't give it a second thought whether the move was too much, etc., chances are you'll come off as charming/romantic.

 

 

Where do you hope this is going to lead? Are you two going to be living near each other anytime soon?

[fmfan08]

I doubt the guy's her bf. But just because he's not her bf doesn't mean she wants you to be either. Maybe she still sees you as a potential bf. Maybe she doesn't have a bf and it just didn't occur to her to lie to turn you down. I know there have been guys I wasn't interested in when I was single who asked if I had a bf and I just answered honestly without thinking about whether I needed to change my answer in order to reject them.

 

 

 

Doing nice, considerate things doesn't make you look desperate. Asking questions trying to be casual when you're not really asking for casual reasons makes you look desperate. -- Unless you're really good at faking being casual. Buying gifts and expecting them to win the girl over usually looks desperate.

 

The reason players get girls isn't because they treat them like crap. It's because they're sweet and lavish girls with affection without bringing that smothering, desperation aspect.

 

If you send a girl flowers expecting that she'll sleep with you or be your gf because of it or you're going to be spending your free time wondering how she's interpreted the action, chances are that your words and actions after sending the flowers will come off as desperate. If you send flowers because you want to brighten her day with no expectation of anything else coming from it, and won't give it a second thought whether the move was too much, etc., chances are you'll come off as charming/romantic.

 

 

Where do you hope this is going to lead? Are you two going to be living near each other anytime soon?

 

They do seem pally, interact a lot on twitter. She even used the word "mates" a while back but things can change I guess.

 

Do you think that caption is sarcasm or a joke? The more I think about it, the more it doesn't make sense and that a girl would only use the term "boyfriend" if it is her boyfriend.

 

Originally, I sent her a message saying that we had been misunderstanding each other through our texts and that I guessed that she was in a relationship or something, saying I was happy for her if she was. I didn't get a reply to this, so hours later I decided to be direct and say "Do you have a boyfriend?" then mentioned that I came across her tweet and wanted to know where I stood (not sure this was a good idea). But, she replied a minute later saying "No I don't.

 

I dropped the subject right after though.

 

I am that kind and considerate person, I don't do things for my own personal advantage. When I tell a girl she looks beautiful, or for instance this girl, that I told her that I knew she would pass her exams, I said that because I knew she would and that I think she's clever. Really, I just want to see her smile.

 

My problem lately has been as if I've disregarded that concept completely and just tried to be cocky/funny or teasing her and try to look like something I'm not, which has annoyed her and made her act short with me. Only reason I know this is when she said "You started it, again".

 

I noticed that using small talk to ask her about her exams and stuff works a lot better and shows my interest.. it's making her respond quicker and I even got a smile at the end of her "Haha" message for the first time in a while. I'll keep with the small talk and gradually ask more about her once she opens up, as I don't want to look like I'm trying to gain anything from it, just that I'm interested in getting to know her.

 

I hope at least we can meet, so I can rule out whether we work in person. She mentioned she wants to, but it's like she's looking for more confirmation on who I am. She's quite a protective girl, but she knows she's technically meeting a stranger (me) and needs validation that I'm legit by using skype/facetime.

 

I think if she comes around again and opens up (not giving me short answers), I'll go for the skype/facetime thing as we've become way too comfortable talking on facebook/text.

Edited September 26, 2013 by fmfan08

[Chi townD]

Sending flowers to a girl on her birthday isn't going to be taken any other way other than recognizing and celebrating her SPECIAL DAY!

 

She would be like, "Awww...he sent me flowers ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! How sweet!" There are not other motives that she would be thinking other than you recognized that it was her birthday and you wanted to do something nice.

 

Surely she's had to mention what hall she lives in? You can call the University and ask simple questions. "Hi! Yes, I'm trying to send flowers to a Ms. Blurry Chick. She lives in O'Bannon hall, but I'm not sure which dorm room she's in. How do I go about sending these flowers so she'll get them?"

 

A lot of halls and dorms have a reception desk. The delivery dude would drop them off at the desk and they would ensure that she receives them.

[The Way I Am]

The way you went about asking about the caption with the whole "i'm happy for you if you are" was a bit awkward. Not that what you said was that bad. But just directly asking "do you have a boyfriend" then asking about the photo after she said no would have been better. But nothing you can do to change what's done, so don't spend any time worrying about it.

 

I'm still not sure what the end-goal here would be. After you meet and decide if you'll work in person, what would you like to happen if you do click? You said she doesn't live near you right? It seems like the best you can hope for here is an long distance relationship. There are already signs that you're going to end up jealous and worried that she's more than friends with the guys she's very friendly with. Unless you're going to be permanently living near each other very soon, this seems like a dead end.

[fmfan08]

The way you went about asking about the caption with the whole "i'm happy for you if you are" was a bit awkward. Not that what you said was that bad. But just directly asking "do you have a boyfriend" then asking about the photo after she said no would have been better. But nothing you can do to change what's done, so don't spend any time worrying about it.

 

I'm still not sure what the end-goal here would be. After you meet and decide if you'll work in person, what would you like to happen if you do click? You said she doesn't live near you right? It seems like the best you can hope for here is an long distance relationship. There are already signs that you're going to end up jealous and worried that she's more than friends with the guys she's very friendly with. Unless you're going to be permanently living near each other very soon, this seems like a dead end.

 

Yeah, she continued talking to me but it was small talk. Guess she could have just ignored me completely.

 

I know she has tonnes of guy mates, gay and straight. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that the term "boyfriend" was used and to me that's a very exclusive title, but she said she doesn't have one. I believe her, but the more I see the photo with that caption the more I start to think it's true. Kind of like if you say something over and over, you start to believe it.

 

Well, it's like 40-45 minutes away on a train and I've been there a whole bunch of times with friends, also I've graduated from University, so depending on where I can get a full time job, I'm free to move anywhere I want anyway. She also drives up to my city quite often as she has a girl mate who is from here and she enjoys the nightlife here too.

 

Part of me thinks, what is actually the point? I've never met her or anything, it's like I've grown attached to a computerised persona.. but the other part of me thinks what if something does work out by not giving up? What if there's a chance?

 

I've enjoyed getting to know her a whole lot, I just think by seeing her caption that photo as "me and my boyfriend" feels like it's not me getting to know her anymore, it's him and he gets the privileged of actually physically being with her if they are actually in a relationship.

 

It's pathetic I know, I know my attachment has got a little out of hand.

 

Any reason for her to say she doesn't have a boyfriend, if she does?

[The Way I Am]

Well, it's like 40-45 minutes away on a train and I've been there a whole bunch of times with friends, also I've graduated from University, so depending on where I can get a full time job, I'm free to move anywhere I want anyway. She also drives up to my city quite often as she has a girl mate who is from here and she enjoys the nightlife here too.

 

40-45 min isn't too bad. Is that the total time to get from home to whereever you might go? Or is that train station to train station with 20-30 minutes added to/from the train station?

 

If it's over an hour each way, that's a little rough. Doable if you're both really into each other. She's not really giving off signs that she's really into you though.

 

Are you looking for jobs in the city she's in? Specifically, what I mean is, would you plan to move there whether she was there or not? If so, maybe it's something worth pursuing. And you should just get it over with, ask her on a date, and make the train trip up for the date if she says yes. Casually date until you finally move.

 

On the other hand, moving to that city isn't something you're already hoping/planning to do whether you click with her or not and you're only considering it if you end up in a relationship with this girl, that's a lot of weight you're putting onto this potential relationship. Chances are not good for it to work out.

 

It's pathetic I know, I know my attachment has got a little out of hand.

 

Glad you at least recognize that.

 

Any reason for her to say she doesn't have a boyfriend, if she does?

 

If she wants the attention or to cheat on him with you.

[fmfan08]

40-45 min isn't too bad. Is that the total time to get from home to whereever you might go? Or is that train station to train station with 20-30 minutes added to/from the train station?

 

If it's over an hour each way, that's a little rough. Doable if you're both really into each other. She's not really giving off signs that she's really into you though.

 

Are you looking for jobs in the city she's in? Specifically, what I mean is, would you plan to move there whether she was there or not? If so, maybe it's something worth pursuing. And you should just get it over with, ask her on a date, and make the train trip up for the date if she says yes. Casually date until you finally move.

 

On the other hand, moving to that city isn't something you're already hoping/planning to do whether you click with her or not and you're only considering it if you end up in a relationship with this girl, that's a lot of weight you're putting onto this potential relationship. Chances are not good for it to work out.

 

 

 

Glad you at least recognize that.

 

 

 

If she wants the attention or to cheat on him with you.

 

Train station is right near me but from there it'll be a 5-10 minute walk.

 

It's weird, because my sister is in the same situation but it's actually working out, yet the journey for her or him is double what mine would be. They started off as long distance friends, etc.

 

I'm not specifically looking for jobs in the city she lives in, but a couple has cropped up there. I'm looking at jobs in the same region we are in though, but not because of her, it's so I get my foot down in the ground for my proper career and I'm comfortable in my first job.

 

I would ask her, but she wants us to do skype/facetime more so she's more familiar. But the problem is, she's kind of being a little short with me at the moment because of how I acted a couple of weeks back.

 

Like, they are really pally if you get what I mean. Few months back I've seen her use the term "mates" or "friend" but it's really odd to see "Me and my boyfriend <3" when to me, the use of "boyfriend" is an exclusive title. I know I keep mentioning that.. but surely she could have used "bestie" or "guy mate".

 

Looking at her instagram, all her girl mates like a lot of her other pictures and they get like around 10 or so likes, yet this particular one doesn't have any of her girl mates liking, just two of their guy mates. Like literally, nothing on their twitters, their friends or her facebook that suggests a relationship so maybe I should believe her and talk as normal.

 

I'll requote our facebook conversation

[fmfan08]

- After saying to her i'll back off and that she knows where I am if she wants to talk, she replies "You blow things out of proportion, there isn't a problem" (not sure why she says this when there does seem to be a problem, i.e her acting short)

 

- I say that we've been misunderstanding each other with our messages and that I assume she's in a relationship (after seeing that picture). I got no reply for some hours, so I was direct with the question and said "Do you have a boyfriend?". She says "No I don't"

 

- I said "Ah right, it was misleading" and that we should re-follow each other (I think at one point I unfollowed her) on twitter and lose our grumpy faces (in a jokey way). She says "You started it" then a second reply saying "again".

 

- I tell her "I know, I shouldn't have" then I make a joke. She replies "We will see"

 

- Decided to change the subject and asked how her exams went, she says "Alright.. I got a 2:1" (Noticed her replies are getting quicker)

 

- I reply "That's good, you clever cloggs. Knew you would pass" and she says "haha:)"

 

Been well over two days since her reply, as I thought I'd leave it until Saturday to wish her happy birthday and go no contact for a bit.

 

But I guess you see the sort of short answers I'm getting.. I finally got a smiley off her since she started to act off though.

[The Way I Am]

I think you missed a key point in my last post. Which was that the distance can work temporarily but only if you both really like each other. This girl is not showing signs that she's that into you.

 

- After saying to her i'll back off and that she knows where I am if she wants to talk

 

Oh no. You didn't really say that in response to getting short messages after you asked about the boyfriend did you? If you ever feel like you have to have that type of conversation with a person you're not even in a relationship with yet, it's a pretty good indictor that the "problem" is that you're way more into that person than they are into you.

 

she replies "You blow things out of proportion, there isn't a problem" (not sure why she says this when there does seem to be a problem, i.e her acting short)

 

What do you really expect her to say? "You're reading way too much into what I say and do and putting way too much importance on me considering we've never even met." It's not exactly polite to be that blunt.

 

The problem was created by you worrying too much about how she reacted to your question about having a bf. Maybe she might have been a little concerned/weirded out/turned off/whatever by the way you went about asking if she had a bf. If she wasn't, telling her you're backing off was enough to do it. If she was already was weirded out, that compounded it. Never say that kind of thing. If you feel a need to back off, just do it. Telling someone that's what you're doing is basically just begging for attention.

[fmfan08]

I think you missed a key point in my last post. Which was that the distance can work temporarily but only if you both really like each other. This girl is not showing signs that she's that into you.

 

 

 

Oh no. You didn't really say that in response to getting short messages after you asked about the boyfriend did you? If you ever feel like you have to have that type of conversation with a person you're not even in a relationship with yet, it's a pretty good indictor that the "problem" is that you're way more into that person than they are into you.

 

 

 

What do you really expect her to say? "You're reading way too much into what I say and do and putting way too much importance on me considering we've never even met." It's not exactly polite to be that blunt.

 

The problem was created by you worrying too much about how she reacted to your question about having a bf. Maybe she might have been a little concerned/weirded out/turned off/whatever by the way you went about asking if she had a bf. If she wasn't, telling her you're backing off was enough to do it. If she was already was weirded out, that compounded it. Never say that kind of thing. If you feel a need to back off, just do it. Telling someone that's what you're doing is basically just begging for attention.

 

She was before when we were getting to know each other, but I teased her a bit too much and jumped to conclusions (had a bit of stress at the time, was wrong to act off with her).

 

That response was NOT after I asked about the boyfriend. It was when I asked her that I was under the impression something was up and that she'd know where I was if she wanted to talk (in other words I wanted to look like I didn't have time for that, but I realise this was a bad idea). Otherwise after she said she didn't have a boyfriend, the conversation carried on, replies within the hour. It was over 3 days though, as sometimes I responded the next day, as I had my facebook logged out doing other stuff.

 

What's the best way of looking less keen? Probably done it now, but I haven't contacted for 2 days, I don't plan to for another 2 until her birthday. I take it that I SHOULDN'T react to her silence and only give one response for one of hers? Not sure if this is redeemable now..

 

We carried on talking and she gave me answers like "Alright.. I got a 2:1" and "Haha:)".

 

Most importantly I was going to be creative and send her an online card for her birthday with something in the message that relates to a short story that made her really laugh a while back. After what you said, I'm not sure whether this would be a good idea now, or whether I should just send her a couple of sentences wishing her happy birthday with a message..

 

I could risk it.. I'm either going to make her laugh/smile or completely throw this dead in the water. It's not as if I know her in person anyway, won't be bumping into her with the awkwardness so nothing to lose :/

 

I'd rather risk it and make her smile than do nothing I guess, then if it does go completely wrong I can take your advice and use it on a fresh start with someone else

Edited September 26, 2013 by fmfan08

[The Way I Am]

Ah. Knowing that you said the backing off thing before asking about the bf makes total sense why she wouldn't immediately reply to your comments about being happy for her if she has a bf and why she was short with the "I don't have a bf" response.

 

You'd already put her off before. So if she did have a bf, yeah, she probably would have told you so so to get rid of the hassle.

 

As for what to do from here, go ahead and do something sweet for her birthday. You're not going to win her over by pretending you could care less on her birthday. Just don't start up with the insecure stuff and reading too much into things if she doesn't immediately fall in love with you for the gesture. Give her space but send her the card and at the same time maybe a text or whatever you need to know she got it. Then just leave it unless she contacts you.

 

If she doesn't respond to the card, just let it drop and move on. If she responds well to the card, back off for a couple days. Respond if she messages, but don't initiate contact. Then unless you want to be her buddy indefinitely, you really need to initiate something after a couple days that shows you're on the path to a potential relationship not just penpals. (Unless she responds *really* well to the card. Like getting gushy and telling you how totally incredibly amazing it/you are. If she does that, don't wait longer than a day to set something up. The way things are going though, I don't think he'll respond quite that positively. Don't mistake something like "Thank you. I love it." for gushing)

 

You said she's insistent on Skyping before meeting. So ask to Skype. Treat it like a first date. If it goes well, as her to meet in person. If she says no to either, move on and stop wasting your time.

 

Oh, and don't tell her you're moving on. Just do it.

Edited September 27, 2013 by The Way I Am

[fmfan08]

Ah. Knowing that you said the backing off thing before asking about the bf makes total sense why she wouldn't immediately reply to your comments about being happy for her if she has a bf and why she was short with the "I don't have a bf" response.

 

You'd already put her off before. So if she did have a bf, yeah, she probably would have told you so so to get rid of the hassle.

 

As for what to do from here, go ahead and do something sweet for her birthday. You're not going to win her over by pretending you could care less on her birthday. Just don't start up with the insecure stuff and reading too much into things if she doesn't immediately fall in love with you for the gesture. Give her space but send her the card and at the same time maybe a text or whatever you need to know she got it. Then just leave it unless she contacts you.

 

If she doesn't respond to the card, just let it drop and move on. If she responds well to the card, back off for a couple days. Respond if she messages, but don't initiate contact. Then unless you want to be her buddy indefinitely, you really need to initiate something after a couple days that shows you're on the path to a potential relationship not just penpals. (Unless she responds *really* well to the card. Like getting gushy and telling you how totally incredibly amazing it/you are. If she does that, don't wait longer than a day to set something up. The way things are going though, I don't think he'll respond quite that positively. Don't mistake something like "Thank you. I love it." for gushing)

 

You said she's insistent on Skyping before meeting. So ask to Skype. Treat it like a first date. If it goes well, as her to meet in person. If she says no to either, move on and stop wasting your time.

 

Oh, and don't tell her you're moving on. Just do it.

 

Damn it.. All I want is a straight answer really, but I've already asked and I've got to take the answer I've been given. Then again, if she did try to get just get rid of the hassle, couldn't she have said "I do have a boyfriend" as a sign of "I'm not interested, go away". It seems odd that she still carries on replying but even quickly after that (i.e within 30 mins or so rather than a few hours).

 

Agreed on the gesture, I'm not doing it to win brownie points and to win her over from it. I want to make her smile or laugh and at least show that I'm not like I've been (which has put her off). It's just a nice gesture to her with a simple message.

 

The plan was to send it as a link on her Facebook inbox and say something like "Decided not to write on your wall, click this instead --> link" because if I send just a random link, it looks fishy (viruses, etc).

 

When you say "if she responds well to the card, back off for a couple of days", does that mean after a couple of days I start a NEW topic of conversation? Obviously if she doesn't respond, no more contact from me. But in addition, what if she just says "Thanks" or "Thanks babe", same as waiting a couple of days?

 

I'm not expecting a gushy response, probably something like "it means a lot" or something relevant.

 

Shouldn't I wait until she starts to open up with more small talk and try to build a bit of attraction before Skyping? Or do you mean I should just go right into that? Her last message was "Haha:)" so I know she doesn't at least hate me, but I don't think I have her ENGAGED enough to want to do Skype.

 

I have been thinking about this last night and wondering if I've been acting too strong with her, as we haven't met. I'm just wondering whether just being friends at first getting to know each other is better? It's more relaxed, no pressure, etc. Then if she did agree to hang out as friends, maybe there'll be some chemsitry that neither of us knew about and if there isn't, at LEAST I know.

 

I know my sister told the guy she's seeing right now that she didn't want a relationship and they were good mates, then they met up and there was chemsitry. I'm not expecting the same to happen, but at least I'd be able to see.

[fmfan08]

Also noticed she favourited her girl mates tweet that said "The Moment you stop liking someone you really see their personality, it's all about the personality"

 

So I'd assume this could be linked to me after how I've acted.

 

I've been stressed with other things, my fault. Just going to act friendly, maybe some flirting but just casual conversation, no overreacting. I think I've given the wrong impression of myself and I would like her to see the proper me. It's no wonder she's had a shield up.

[Chi townD]

Also noticed she favourited her girl mates tweet that said "The Moment you stop liking someone you really see their personality, it's all about the personality"

 

So I'd assume this could be linked to me after how I've acted.

 

I've been stressed with other things, my fault. Just going to act friendly, maybe some flirting but just casual conversation, no overreacting. I think I've given the wrong impression of myself and I would like her to see the proper me. It's no wonder she's had a shield up.

 

 

Dude, she didn't write it, one of her girlfriends did! It wasn't about you! Hell, the girlfriend doesn't even know you! That girl could have written it about her own boyfriend, the girl you like knows her story and "liked" the tweet because she knows what's going on with her GIRLFRIEND and is showing her support!

 

Dude, stop over analyzing everything!