Ashley87 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Ok I need advice & support. I found out three weeks ago the man I was dating for about a year is engaged and is set to be married next month I found out through Google when I searched his name and to my surprise found their wedding registry online. I confronted him and he said he was eventually going to tell me, which I think is a load of BS. We live about 2 hours away from each other and only saw each other a few days out of the month, at times we'd just meet for a few hours, or fly to a different city and vacation together for a few days I never took this as a sign but I should've. I contemplated telling his fiancé and I eventually messaged her on FB asking if she was aware he'd been seeing me (the message was not out of spite but just to inform her) well, she called me every name in the book as if I was the one who'd did wrong although I knew nothing about her. He claimed he loves me but how could someone who is engaged to someone else do this to someone they love? Or do that to her? I haven't heard from him since I messaged her and it's been hard for me, I was in love with this man and everything he stood for. Support anyone Link to post Share on other sites
KentuckyGent Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 He claimed he loves me They all do this. Take it from someone who went through and is going through hell, get away from this schmuck. . . NOW! He's a scum bag, a cake eater. You're a side piece and he'll treat you like that for as long as you'll let him. I had my heart broken by my MW. He'll break yours the longer you let this go on. Whatever it takes, you've got to take back the power. Easier said than done---hell, I'm not there either but I know what needs to be done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashley87 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 They all do this. Take it from someone who went through and is going through hell, get away from this schmuck. . . NOW! He's a scum bag, a cake eater. You're a side piece and he'll treat you like that for as long as you'll let him. I had my heart broken by my MW. He'll break yours the longer you let this go on. Whatever it takes, you've got to take back the power. Easier said than done---hell, I'm not there either but I know what needs to be done. Thanks for your encouraging words, yes I did cut him off I couldn't deal with being second best. It's so hard I think about him all day he's even in my dreams when I sleep at night I know time heals all but I feel he was the ONE for me not her. It sucks so much I'm trying to be strong but I feel so weak at times I just break down and cry! Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks for your encouraging words, yes I did cut him off I couldn't deal with being second best. It's so hard I think about him all day he's even in my dreams when I sleep at night I know time heals all but I feel he was the ONE for me not her. It sucks so much I'm trying to be strong but I feel so weak at times I just break down and cry! someone who's planning a wedding and at the same time 'dating' someone else, who lied about his relationship status... and you feel he's the ONE? you dodged a bullet! imagine yourself in his fiancee's shoes. she's left with a lying loser, you should be walking away from this mess with an extra skip in your step! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
imbetteroff Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 ^^^What she said!! Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 What a mess. It is too bad the fiancé didn't want to hear the truth. You've done all you can. Someday you will feel relieved the relationship didn't go further. For now, feel better, I hope you find some peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashley87 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 You did the right thing by telling her. Had you not told her, he probably would be yo yoing you right now in an effort to keep you both. That was my way of closure. I had to let her know because I put myself in her shoes and I'd want to know what type of man I'm marrying. Unfortunately she didn't want to hear it, I knew he wouldn't contact me after I messaged her, and he hasn't. But it's getting easier to forget as each day passes I do have my moments but not as bad as the first few days Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 someone who's planning a wedding and at the same time 'dating' someone else, who lied about his relationship status... and you feel he's the ONE? you dodged a bullet! imagine yourself in his fiancee's shoes. she's left with a lying loser, you should be walking away from this mess with an extra skip in your step! This, now think about all the times you went out together, every smile, every laugh, how genuine it seemed, then remember not two seconds after you were out of sight, he's flipped and calling & planning things with his fiance. For me this is the worst kind of human being. They work you out, use your heart against you, reel you in with promises of fantastic futures while intending to do no such thing. You know exactly what kind of a man he is and I'm hope I'm not putting it too strongly but he is a POS. Not worth a second more of your precious life. Good luck and sorry for the nonsense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cozycottagelg Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I am so proud of you. So many times you read on here that when the women found out their man was married or engaged, they kept up the affair. Not saying it wasn't done with hopeful intentions, but in hindsight it doesn't work out, pretty much every time. She is marrying a lying cheater and you are free to find someone amazing and truthful. Good luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashley87 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 She may not have believed you at first and he may have said you were a crazy stalker trying to derail his future marriage. I think she still deserves to know the truth so it will wake her up from her denial. Does she really want to marry a cheater? I would send her whatever proof you have along with a sincere note saying you did not know and wanted her to know as a fellow woman. And then say you'll never contact her again but the she is free to contact you. And then leave it at that. I sent her a sincere message on Facebook, after I put myself in her shoes, (if I was engaged to marry a cheater I'd like to know!) It wasn't a bitter or spiteful message it was letting her know who I was, that I knew nothing about her and how he'd been with her and me at the same time, I sent her a few pictures of us from the vacations we took, but she basically went on a rampage on how I'm a whore, how I'll never get him and how she'll get the house, the car, the ring and I'll just have the memories (she never mentioned anything along the lines of LOVE, she seems very immature, and materialistic) Maybe she's in denial or maybe doesn't care so much. I don't know, I'm sure he threw me under the bus and told her I was just the crazy stalker. Likely he'll cheat on her after they get married or vice versa... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashley87 Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 I am so proud of you. So many times you read on here that when the women found out their man was married or engaged, they kept up the affair. Not saying it wasn't done with hopeful intentions, but in hindsight it doesn't work out, pretty much every time. She is marrying a lying cheater and you are free to find someone amazing and truthful. Good luck!! Thank you! It wasn't easy let me tell you, he was one charming little liar but I know if I accepted his offer to still be "friends" I'd be disrespecting myself and hurting even more. It gets easier with each passing day although I still think of him (not as much as before). I'm hopeful to find someone that'll love me entirely but for now I'm just focusing on myself and just nurturing my heart back to health. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I find it useful to check on any new guy I start to date. You would not believe how many are married pretending to be single! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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