pancakepalace Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Hi guys, Well, like you may of read from my earlier posts, my pregnant gf of 18 weeks left me on octobre 29th for good. She has moved in another city and hasn't contacted me since. I am waiting for her call since I wanted to do NC and she promised she would invite me to the ecography due sometime next week. I have a few options at this point that I will do in this order. 1. wait for contact 2. initiate contact if I am not invited to the dr. appt. 3. start legal processes if it is necessary (i.e. if she doesn't want to talk) I might send her a card for her birthday and christmas which are two days apart. I haven't decided yet. I know this might be dangerous. Anyway, back to my subject. Even though, I pretty much know what I have to do at this point, I can't seem to stop being nervous and am having horrible sleeping problems. I just can't fall asleep. I was wondering if any of you have good tricks for this or are having the same problem. My nerves are way shot, but I don't want to go on sleeping pills if I can avoid this. Thanks guys, pel Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Well, the best method I had for falling asleep when we were out in the field in the Marine Corps was to count artillery rounds as they were fired over top of us. Highest I ever got to was 8. Not sure if this is practical in your situation though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pancakepalace Posted November 25, 2004 Author Share Posted November 25, 2004 hmmm...interesting Unfortunately, I don't have military intelligence in my neighbourhood. Maybye I'll try counting something else. Although, I am not sure if counting is for me. Counting critter night sounds? thanks, pel Link to post Share on other sites
Mustard Bomb Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 congrats! but don't send a card. wait it out; it's a tough time for her and for yourself. don't make a decision until you talk to her. you probably can't sleep because you have so much on your mind. i have this quite badly too - i sleep every other night, usually. here are some tricks i've searched out form this forum and elsewhere: -repeating some poem, or prayer, or mantra, -just going with it. get up, be productive. tucker yourself out. -eliminate all caffeine and alcohol from your diet. check your antihistamines for pseudo ephedrine, if applicable. -have some sex. with yourself, if need be. -exercise everyday, for at least an hour. <aerobic and anaerobic> -read something that stimulates you and will let your mind travel in non-anxious directions. look at art; watch a good movie; call a drama-ridden friend. i went to a doctor for mine; it was so persistent; but for me it's not treatable with medication.weirdly my dad has it as well, so it may be learned. i've learned to embrace it after a long time of feeling panicky about it. you, however, should probably go to a doctor before doing anything in this post or others. sleeplessness is actually a fairly serious problem. keep posting about your g/f problems; it may help. Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 i sympathise, its horrible not being able to sleep because of an emotional trauma. When i felt like you do now, i took valerian tablets, they do help and are herbal and non addictive. I also burnt lavender oil in a burner, lavender helps sleep, and watched my 'comfort' videos in bed, stuff i love watching or kids films i adored when i was younger. I hope that wasnt too much of a 'girl's' answer for you Link to post Share on other sites
Queen B Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Sounds like you're stressed out and this definiely affects how you do or don't sleep...had a similar problem (not sleeping that is) and after 5 months went to the doc for some meds to help sleep...and it helped a lot...I wasn't on the meds for long...maybe a month but after that I could cope on my own...it made the world of difference and now I wish I hadn't waited 5 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Pel.. First.. The child your gf is carrying in also yours.. while I don't know the whole story as to why she left, regardless if things work out between the 2 of you (and I'm keeping my fingers crossed they will work out, as it sounds that is what you want) the child is forever.. with that said, I do believe this NC isn't a good idea in your situation because the 2 of you are going to have to co~parent your child together regardless if you end up together as a couple in the end of things.. Anyway.. to the other question.. I often have a hard time sleeping as well Crap! I have a few things I do when this happens.. 1) Reading 2) Chamomile tea 3) Hot bath When all else fails 2 Tylenol PM's.. just take them early enough that you don't feel "drug out" the next day. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 I swear by hot chocolate. Link to post Share on other sites
Puma Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 i kow all of us had gone through the non sleeping stage..usually at the beginnin of the break up. i like all the suggestions so far..but what really helps me out is to watch some conan o brien!!!! yeeeaaa..now thats some comedic relief for ya..it gets ya to laugh a bit and ya'll wonder off into ur comfortable zone then bam! ur asleeep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. also i find great relaxation in prayer, and try drinkin somethin hot before you go to bed it helps..haha as for the oils i dont know..but each person is diff. i wold think it just smells good..but it might even remind you of her sweet smell so id think about that haha. aight good luck sleepless in..whereever ur from sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author pancakepalace Posted November 25, 2004 Author Share Posted November 25, 2004 Thanks for your help guys, I do believe this NC isn't a good idea in your situation because the 2 of you are going to have to co~parent your child together regardless if you end up together as a couple in the end of things.. You are right Merin. But, I think we needed a little break to clear our heads. She is supposed to call for the ecograhy like I said so I will wait just a bit. I think this is justified since she said she would contact me first when she left and didn't want to speek to me at all before. As to why she left, I don't really know. Nothing bad happened at all. I think there might have been too many 'problems' condensed in a short period of time for such a young couple as us (ie. baby, moving in together, lack of good jobs, etc...). Also she is very close to her mother who didn't offer any resistance. She seemed to think it was normal and invited my gf to come home asap. Her dad left them when they were young and she raised her sisters with her mother. I will send her some mail today and a small note about the doct. appt. I will initiate contact in the next weeks. Like I said I am totally into the baby and willing to help out 200%. If she doesn't want to talk, I'll have to go to courts. - - - I'll try some of your ideas for sleeping. I also burnt lavender oil in a burner, lavender helps sleep, and watched my 'comfort' videos in bed, stuff i love watching or kids films i adored when i was younger. I hope that wasnt too much of a 'girl's' answer for you I don't know what a girl is supposed to be like, let alone a girls answer. Personnaly, I love kid shows. Thanks guys, pel Link to post Share on other sites
lostNconfusedx10 Posted November 28, 2004 Share Posted November 28, 2004 ive had problems falling asleep for as long as i can remember and its even harder when i think of my ex....i ahve a few tricks that work pretty good. 1. Go on limewire or kazzaa or something and seach for "deep sleep meditation" Its a 20 something minute audio tape that has some lady talking and it puts you in weird state of relaxation. It has you breath in a weird form and she counts down from 10 and then starts to tell you to relax certain parts of your body and has you think of certain things. I usually fall asleep right away she finishes counting but it goes on for like 15 mins after. Its really great and it makes your body very relaxed 2. Think of something semi boring. Here's a few things i think of. My favorite golf course. I start on hole #1 and acutally play a game of golf in my head. Think of where i hit it and then actually walk in my mind to where the ball lands and hit it again. I usually fall asleep by the 4th hole. Even the paper route i had when i was a kid. I actual deliver the papers in my head one house at a time, and actually walk to the next one. Just think of something repetitious that you have done and think of it in your head. Most of the time it is so boring and gets your mind to actually concentrate on that task that you fall asleep before the task is over. Link to post Share on other sites
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