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friend's control of my life


darkmoon

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it is endless, every time I see her I get some advice, I do not care if I am perfect, I asked her not to give me any more advice, I think she means well, but her advice is a about things that do not matter to me, she does not understand my work ethic comes first

 

I do not want to drop her, so I said to her I do not want any advice until New Years' Eve

 

big but - to me anyway - is how she did not just say "yes okay" to my request, three times I said, "okay, so no more advice til New Years' Eve"

 

I know this lack of response shows that she is deeply serious in some kind of mission to improve me, I think it is so that she can feel like she is the bigger fish - why else?

 

any thoughts on this vent here?

 

I am about to start avoiding her

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Of course she's doling out her advice to you unsolicited to feel superior to you. Sounds like a very overbearing personality. Those types are the toxic friends, I know, because I had one friendship identical to that.

 

Avoid this friend for a while. Just downgrade her to acquaintance and go spend time with your other friends.

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What is the advice? Need more info.

 

clothes...i run my own life, she used to be nicer, then this, it matters that i do not like advice unless asked for (who does?) she has no other convo topics, nothing profound, but used to be kind and fun 3 months ago this changed, known her twelve years

Edited by darkmoon
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clothes...i run my own life, she used to be nicer, then this, it matters that i do not like advice unless asked for (who does?) she has no other convo topics, nothing profound, but used to be kind and fun 3 months ago this changed, known her twelve years

 

What are you in high school?

I remember a girl doing that to me when i was 14 years old.

I ended up slapping her, and beating her because I simply could not take her "friendly" advice anymore.

If you are asking her to stop. She should respect you and stop, but it sounds like she won't. You need to let her go until she has see the errors of her ways.

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clothes...i run my own life, she used to be nicer, then this, it matters that i do not like advice unless asked for (who does?) she has no other convo topics, nothing profound, but used to be kind and fun 3 months ago this changed, known her twelve years

 

I had a friend continually trying to change my clothes a few years ago. He was sort of controlling in general. I talked to him about it and said he had to stop. Our friendship eventually ended. He was always trying to tell me what to do.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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she stopped then she started, two or three remarks yesterday, bit milder, but still am going to see less of her, I do not want to drop her, but nor am I the victim, just seeing if she quits some more, open-minded here, but cancelled today, the rain made me not so eager to go out visiting

Edited by darkmoon
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