Virgin Boyfriend

[Sexless]

My b/f's a virgin and he's 26 years old. I'm his first serious g/f (I'm a bit older and more experienced) and he is completely commited to me. We are very physical with each other and we are both extremely caring and affectionate. However, he has not attempted to have sex with me. We do everything else though. He wants to have sex with me, but says that he doesn't feel it's the right "time". I am a bit confused about this matter. If he wants me so bad and we do everything except penetration, why is he so fearful? Is he being intimidated by the idea that he has to please me perfectly? I feel like I'm the male and he's the female in this relationship sometimes...any advice?

[ashesmum]

You need to sit down and talk to him. Plain and simple. Nobody can say what's going through his head. It could be he feels naive in this situation. It could be alot of pressure for him to make it special to you. So sit down and just ask him how he's feeling. Maybe he's waiting for a special romantic evening or something. So just ask him so you're not waiting impatiently for him. Good luck.

My b/f's a virgin and he's 26 years old. I'm his first serious g/f (I'm a bit older and more experienced) and he is completely commited to me. We are very physical with each other and we are both extremely caring and affectionate. However, he has not attempted to have sex with me. We do everything else though. He wants to have sex with me, but says that he doesn't feel it's the right "time". I am a bit confused about this matter. If he wants me so bad and we do everything except penetration, why is he so fearful? Is he being intimidated by the idea that he has to please me perfectly? I feel like I'm the male and he's the female in this relationship sometimes...any advice?

[Budda Licious]

My b/f's a virgin and he's 26 years old. I'm his first serious g/f (I'm a bit older and more experienced) and he is completely commited to me. We are very physical with each other and we are both extremely caring and affectionate. However, he has not attempted to have sex with me. We do everything else though. He wants to have sex with me, but says that he doesn't feel it's the right "time". I am a bit confused about this matter. If he wants me so bad and we do everything except penetration, why is he so fearful? Is he being intimidated by the idea that he has to please me perfectly? I feel like I'm the male and he's the female in this relationship sometimes...any advice?

[Budda Licious]

Maybe he's scared. I was scared my first time. Where you have experience, he doesn't. He's probably afraid that he won't please you enough. You should try talking to him. If he loves you, then he will listen and understanding.

[Deejette]

Some men have "performance anxiety," so you must put him at ease. Introduce him to it gradually. Reassure him that he has nothing to be afraid of. If it doesn't happen, don't act too disappointed and let him know there will be other times to try in the future. Show him that you understand his reluctance and tell him you are happy that he is not like some other guys "who are only interested in one thing."

 

But let him know that it is bothering you that you are doing everything else but it and see what his real explanation is.

Maybe he's scared. I was scared my first time. Where you have experience, he doesn't. He's probably afraid that he won't please you enough. You should try talking to him. If he loves you, then he will listen and understanding.

[Juds]

Perhaps, at 26 yo, he feels a bit uncomfortable with the fact that you are sexually more experienced than he is.

 

Maybe, rather than putting all of the onus on him to initiate intercourse, you could get things going along. Just gently guide him along, and before you know it, it's happening. He is probably just terrified that he will make a mistake, or get it wrong.

 

Just take the lead. Show him with actions rather than words, I'll be once the initial one is over, you won't look back!!