dumped2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Well, I have been reading this forum for the past month and it has helped me a lot. My story goes this way. Wife went to Europe for 2 weeks for the past 3 years with her mom. I never questioned her about it. I trusted her. Last summer I saw a picture of her on a tour boat with a younger guy in Paris and I freaked. I started thinking about it in my head and confronted her. She finally confessed that she had never taken her mom. She had gone alone. I blew up and lost all trust in her. We have been fighting about the situation for over a year. I actually don't think she cheated, but what is a normal guy going to think. I even called the driver that picked her up at the airport and he said she was alone. She finally asked for a divorce on July 20th and it was final last week. Knife in the chest feeling. Up days and down days. She is still in the house until Oct. 5th. I had to agree to that because her apartment will not be ready until then. I think I will really sink to a low that weekend when she moves out for good. To make matters worse one of my Cats passed away last night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Share Posted September 24, 2013 I forgot to add we have been together 20 years married 16 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 do you have children together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 Fortunately no kids. We agreed on a settlement and used the same Attorney. Oct 5th is going to suck when the moving truck comes down the drive to get her stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Look upon this experience, sad as it is, as 'cutting your loses'. My brief take on this? She cheated. If she's capable of lying about taking her mom with her, then she's hiding something else. At this point, though, it's irrelevant. Just be glad you're getting a liar out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I figured she cheated too but she swears she did not. Like you said too late now. Wierd thing how could you only cheat once a year. She comes straight home from work every night right on time. Oh well no use rehashing but I will check in next week when she has gone and my mind starts going down hill. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 What are your plans for moving day? Even though I know it will be painful, if I was you I'd hang around to monitor what she's taking, same as with any other untrustworthy room mate, and maybe hide valuable items and documents that you don't want to take a chance on. It hurts, but you can handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I will be sitting in the garage drinking beer listening to my divorce playlist. The other funny thing is she still wants to be friends, come by spend the weekend, hang out at the pool blah blah blah. I need to heal and I can't if that happens Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I will be sitting in the garage drinking beer listening to my divorce playlist. The other funny thing is she still wants to be friends, come by spend the weekend, hang out at the pool blah blah blah. I need to heal and I can't if that happens You got that right. No point in accepting a demotion to "friend". Besides, such a desire on her part has alot more to do with managing her guilt and/or making sure that you don't think she's a "bad" person than anything having to do with you. The hell with that. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 She is a liar, she betrayed your trust, I'd bet money she cheated. You can't be friends, being friends just means she gets to beat you down more when she brings her new boyfriend over to your place to show him off. Do your own thing until she's gone, avoid being with her, go out with friends. Have a funeral for her and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
keepontruckin Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Friends don't lie to each other. Friends give each other the straight up goods... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 I figured she cheated too but she swears she did not. Like you said too late now. Wierd thing how could you only cheat once a year. If cheating wasn't her intent, why lie to you - twice! - about the trip? Have a friend who's wife did a version of this, lied to him about business trips while she went off and enjoyed the single life (sex included) in various locales. Infidelity doesn't always mean a LTR with a workmate or friend. Stay strong and add a few good drinkin' songs to that divorce playlist ... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GuyInLimbo Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 I actually don't think she cheated Yeah, and Britney Spears doesn't lip synch.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 Mostly country. One of my favorites is by Gary Morris, "Lasso you the moon" Talks about he knows she's out there somewhere, cause He's held her in his dreams. Check it out and listen to the words. I pretty much sing it to myself all day Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 I will be sitting in the garage drinking beer listening to my divorce playlist. Don't do that. It will re-affirm some sick thing in her head that you're a chump. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 Don't do that. It will re-affirm some sick thing in her head that you're a chump. Point. Maybe what you want to do instead is be well-dressed, smelling good, and impatiently checking your watch, since you have places to go and women to do. Presents a better picture, anyways. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 I have a playlist like that. I'll be the one moving out on 10/9 because he wouldn't leave. I agree with the others. Be dressed, cologned, and looking at your watch - asking her how long this going to take! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Share Posted September 27, 2013 I might hire a couple of strippers to hang out at the pool with me...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 I might hire a couple of strippers to hang out at the pool with me...... Hahaha, maybe a little over the top, but I like the way you're thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 She took the rest of the week off. Got her apartment and started moving today. She left our dog here all day and it pissed me off. She is taking her and she is my buddy. I walked her but now I'm worried if the dog will be taken care of when the movers come on Saturday. I may need to take her to court to get custody of the dog. She is probably with whoever she left me for. I'm still in the first stage of all this effing ****. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 This is the effing saddest day of my life. I'm ready to go to step 4 in the process. How long does this take? Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I am very sorry...it does take a while.. and don't rush it even though it sucks because that will set you back a few steps.. trust me, I have tried to tush steps... you are ready when your heart and mind tell you.. therapy/counseling helps. As for the dog, the dog is considered tangible property in the eyes of the law... so prove ownership and thats how you can get the dog. Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 You need to have a serious as unemotional conversation that you can have with her and finalize all issues. I am a dog lover and you need to look at it as if this is a child, what is in the dogs best interest. Who has the time, desire and ability to take care of their needs? Once this is settled and the furniture is removed, make sure you get the key as there is no need for her to come back. You are no longer buddies, friends or pals.....she is somebody you use to know....it's over. Prolonging this process only adds to the pain. It's unfortunate, but you won't be moving on until she is gone and become emotionally available to a new relationship. It won't be easy, but you will get there. Hold your head high. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Follower Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 ON moving day you need to have plans to go out, get your male friends round, have a party. Show that your celebrating the end of this awful facade of a relationship. As soon as that van leaves and the jobs done you and your mates should jump in a vehicle and head to the nearest bar. Nothing like sympathy sex to get you over a cheater. My favorite quote for this right now is "Relationships are like houses, you don't buy a new house when the bulb goes out, on the other hand when that house is a cheating B**ch you burn that house down and build a new one!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumped2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 Day 2 of moving. Left dog here all day( I walked her again when I got home) I'm going camping with my buddy this weekend even though there is a tropical storm heading this way. I won't be here when the movers come. Effing beach. I'm actually angry now so maybe I reached step 2. NC starts Saturday. Just me and my kitty when I get back from camping Link to post Share on other sites
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