To grovel or not to grovel?

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm actually quite enjoying reading how she's having trouble getting attention from guys. She's struggling to attract attractive males. I know for a fact she has high standards and is picky. She's also vegetarian so it'll be even harder. I know it's just gonna be a rebound though. If she didn't throw me away she wouldn't have this problem I don't mean to be big headed but I'm not a bad looking guy, all her friends loved me. Now she's gonna have to go on the dating scene and she might not find what she's looking for because of her standards.

 

I wanna see how long it takes her to get a rebound. She used to say if we broke up she'd be single forever LOL. I'd be like yeah me too. I keep seeing other women and I'm not attracted at all. It'll be a looong time before I find someone.

 

I got an idea, I'm single, you lot are single. Let's have at it!

 

Instead of keeping tabs on her, why don't you actually use your time constructively? Hang out with friends, make new friends, pick up a new hobby, start a new project, work out. I mean, keeping tabs on her is one of the biggest wastes of time there is.

[Simon Phoenix]

And now that I reread that, did he just proposition aspiringguitarheroine?

[Minneloa]

And now that I reread that, did he just proposition aspiringguitarheroine?

 

Um, I think he propositioned all of us ("you lot")!

[Simon Phoenix]

Um, I think he propositioned all of us ("you lot")!

 

I'm flattered, but I'm straight.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

aspiringuitarheroine - The difference here is this is true love. I know she loves me still she's just convinced herself otherwise. She'll realize it when she gets bored of this new lifestyle. I'm not saying our breakup is special, I'm saying it's worth another chance. Some people who truly fall in love don't get over it for 30 years, saw a thread on here about it.

 

I'm gonna obsess over her - i love her and she's ditched me.

 

I can't do any of those things, I don't wanna be around friends because it's not fun anymore. I just miss her. I went to gym today (I always go 3 days a week) but I didn't have the energy, nearly dropped the barbell on my neck.

 

I dunno it's comforting to sit by her twitter, it's the only presence I have left of her now. If I do other things I think about her twitter, and how i could be at home watching it. Damn...that's pretty sad when I admit it. I'm used to looking at her twitter anyways, I like to know how she's doing and what's on her mind. I actually just realized I never asked her what she's been up to because I already knew from twitter.

 

 

I wanna punch the guy who invented twitter. I would of missed her and talked to her way more. I wouldn't of been pushed away by her tweets.

 

I actually don't have a social circle, not since I was 19. I have a very lonely life right now. Before this I was getting into baking, I learned a vegan chocolate recipe I was gonna bake her. Now I can't even eat. I was even gonna send the cake I made but it's still in the cupboard, probs moudly now.

 

aspiringuitarheroine - I'm vegan so I'm absolutely screwed finding someone new. My ex was practically vegan, she just couldn't kick cheese. I even had a look on ocupid for vegans, they're' all scary feminist looking stereotypes. The thing I like about my ex was she was on the chubby side, curvy. I loved that and it's hard to find attractive curvy women. She had big thighs, sigh.

 

Simon - We can be together, but not in a gay way.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, you need to change your attitude quickly. This "I know she still loves me, she just denying it stuff" "I'm going to obsess over her", well, that's the thought process of someone who isn't in love -- that's the thought process of someone who is fixated and obsessive. That's the thought process of someone who glues hundreds of Polaroid pictures of the person they are fixated on their wall, who makes hairdolls of their "love", who stalks them. It's creepy man. Please don't be creepy stalkerazzi guy.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

I'm trying to change it, I'm trying to get mad not sad, that's what someone told me.

 

Nothing wrong with being crazy in love. I don't do all those things, I have no photos of her up, no manque ins with her clothes on. I just miss her. She's pulled out my life, there is a huge void there now. I still have loads of her clothes here, some of her night ware, should I put them in the loft? They still smell of her

 

She'll realize sooner or later what she's thrown away, trust me. I know her well.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm trying to change it, I'm trying to get mad not sad, that's what someone told me.

 

Nothing wrong with being crazy in love. I don't do all those things, I have no photos of her up, no manque ins with her clothes on. I just miss her. She's pulled out my life, there is a huge void there now. I still have loads of her clothes here, some of her night ware, should I put them in the loft? They still smell of her

 

She'll realize sooner or later what she's thrown away, trust me. I know her well.

 

Your thoughts are much more of the "crazy" type than the "in love" type. I don't see much love coming from you. Stop trying to justify these thoughts -- you need to repel them.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

I don't know how to repel them? If I'm not in love then why can't I stop thinking about her, why do I hurt and why did I send the e-mail agreeing to her bs excuses. I wished her good luck finding herself. I got a little crazy, because I was trying to show her I do care, since she said I don't. But that's okay, it was still fresh and I'm only human.

 

I can't see how I'm gonna get over her, I wish I 'didn't' love her.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

So first loves can't be true loves?

 

Also she could have done the decency to email me once just to say I've completely moved on, forget about me or something like that, anything to completely end it.

 

That was a dumbass thing to say for her guilt to say you can email once a week, then just not respond. Then block me because she didn't wanna deal with it when i needed her the most. She's a bit of a b-e-e-c-h.

[lylat333]

OP, the girl I was with for 6 1/2 years... I believe I truly love(d) her. I would never, ever talk about her like you are your ex. Never did, nor did she ever speak of me in such terms.

 

The saddest thing is you aren't learning anything from this experience. It doesn't look like you've improved anything between you and your ex, and you are willfully refusing to stop checking her social media. Meaning, you will never heal and that is a fact. You choose to torture yourself by getting caught in her web of antics which have nothing to do with you anymore.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Yeah well I loved the old her, not this new version. It's like the real her died. I don't agree about not fighting, you fight for someone you love. Especially if you made a mistake, then if they truly walk away, then you give up.

 

I don't care she can't just mindf**** people like she has. Right now she's not looking like the person I loved, she's two faced and selfish. We'll see by her twitter if she really cares about what we had. Until then she's not someone I thought I was in love with.

 

Well I won't get over it, I call it being realistic and honest. I feel that strongly. Screw counselling, that's something I'll never do. Only I can get over this myself.

 

lylat333 - Yeah well my ex decided to wake up one day and say "Oh btw, I'm gonna completely change who I am today". She's not the girl she used to be. But she doesn't even know what she wants, she's just running from herself. I wish she'd wake up and accept herself and remember I told her she's amazing and beautiful.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa

[Mariposa10]

I don't know how to repel them? If I'm not in love then why can't I stop thinking about her, why do I hurt and why did I send the e-mail agreeing to her bs excuses. I wished her good luck finding herself. I got a little crazy, because I was trying to show her I do care, since she said I don't. But that's okay, it was still fresh and I'm only human.

 

I can't see how I'm gonna get over her, I wish I 'didn't' love her.

 

 

How long were you two together? 6 years? There's no way you can expect to be over her in days. Give it time. I think you are still in denial and that's fine. I was with my ex for almost 5 years, sometimes I catch myself forgetting we're not together anymore. Give it time. Go out with your friends. Things do get better. Everything will be fine. Nobody has died because of love.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

I have learned something, never trust anyone because they stab you in the back. Also communication is important. I said I'm gonna try and cut down on her twitter, but right now I'm not wanting to.

 

Eight years not six. People have died because of love! It's the main reason people jump off the golden gate bridge every week!

 

I'm not in-denial anymore after she blocked me. Before that I thought she was just hurt and not meaning what she was saying. It's like her mams moved her on because this just isn't even her. Now she has to do what her mam says because she's bought her a new house.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

I just can't stop thinking of her, I was prepared to share the rest of my life with her. The last time I saw her was in April, I was so excited to see her again and she does this. I'm actually grieving a great loss here.

 

Thanks anyways, I do appreciate your input guys, it's helped me a lot. I got a feeling something might happen soon.

[lylat333]

I don't care she can't just mindf**** people like she has.

Looks like you're doing everything in your power to let her pull off the greatest mind**** she can. Silence and withdrawal is the medicine for the situation, pleading is the poison.

 

We'll see by her twitter if she really cares about what we had. Until then she's not someone I thought I was in love with.

Dude, your obsession with her twitter is mind-boggling. Twitter is basically an e-toilet for people to **** out shallow, passing thoughts and whore themselves out for attention, not a place for deep revelations. I have no idea what you're expecting to see. And what if she does have a change of heart? You checking it changes nothing. What if she decides to get back in touch? She'll do it whether you're checking her twitter or not. For some reason you want to make the decision to remain a bleeding mess hoping that day comes instead of shifting your focus towards watering your own grass.

[Simon Phoenix]

Twitter is idiots shouting their brain farts into the vacuum of space. Never bothered with it myself.

 

Twitter is good for news gathering and can be awesome when certain crazy things happen in sports/pop culture. Besides that it's just another tool to dumb down communication.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

You guys underestimate twitter. Whatever she puts out on there is true, that's the REAL her. Facebook is the fake place where people behave themselves in front of friends and family. If you really want to know someone look at their twitter. It's like a diary.

 

Twitter is like the good old internet way before facebook, where you can be yourself and not have to worry about grandma seeing your deepest thoughts.

 

You guys don't get how easy it is to check her twitter, I click the bookmark and boom I get my fix. It's like a crackhead with unlimited supply at any time. I was thinking of blocking twitter in the router and then blindly typing a password on it all so I can't unblock it. But I know I'll just reset the router.

 

Just found out her facebook is public too, it's like she wants me to read it all. Oh btw why would she deleted my little sister as a friend on fb? She even rejected her re-add. This was last October, very strange.

 

Yeah this is grief, I'm grieving for a great loss here. I wish she'd stop being so stubborn and firm and just forgive me so I can visit her and we can stop this pain. I guess she doesn't care though, she's moved on in no time at all.

 

I definitely pushed her away trying to get her back because that's when she calmed down on twitter, before that she was posting emotional tweets and not sleeping at night. That's when I said good luck finding yourself and all that stuff.

 

 

 

Damn.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa

[Simon Phoenix]

You guys underestimate twitter. Whatever she puts out on there is true, that's the REAL her. Facebook is the fake place where people behave themselves in front of friends and family. If you really want to know someone look at their twitter. It's like a diary.

 

Twitter is like the good old internet way before facebook, where you can be yourself and not have to worry about grandma seeing your deepest thoughts.

 

You guys don't get how easy it is to check her twitter, I click the bookmark and boom I get my fix. It's like a crackhead with unlimited supply at any time. I was thinking of blocking twitter in the router and then blindly typing a password on it all so I can't unblock it. But I know I'll just reset the router.

 

Just found out her facebook is public too, it's like she wants me to read it all. Oh btw why would she deleted my little sister as a friend on fb? She even rejected her re-add. This was last October, very strange.

 

Yeah this is grief, I'm grieving for a great loss here. I wish she'd stop being so stubborn and firm and just forgive me so I can visit her and we can stop this pain. I guess she doesn't care though, she's moved on in no time at all.

 

I definitely pushed her away trying to get her back because that's when she calmed down on twitter, before that she was posting emotional tweets and not sleeping at night. That's when I said good luck finding yourself and all that stuff.

 

 

 

Damn.

 

I think you should take all of your energy and look to get a job with Twitter. You've been acting as a spokesman for that company -- you might as well get paid for it.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

Made me laugh. I absolutely hate twitter

Anyways bedtime for me, night guys.

 

*Just checked her twitter without even realizing, I already checked it before I decided to go to bed. Then instead of shutting the PC down I checked her twitter out of habit. I'm gonna start counting how many times I check it an hour.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa

[Simon Phoenix]

I use Facebook for that...

 

Twitter is much better, at least for the news-gathering thing. Depends on who you follow though. Twitter is awesome for getting breaking news -- would much rather have it from the source reporting it than some girl who I used to make out with in high school who now has three kids and posts baby pictures all the time.

[thora-tiki]

Just once I would like to see: 10, sorry, 12 pages of positivity.

 

Not today... Sigh...

 

You wrote:

«Whatever she puts out on there is true, that's the REAL her. Facebook is the fake place where people behave themselves in front of friends and family. If you really want to know someone look at their twitter. It's like a diary.»

 

Oh no, can you guys read this?

 

I am not on twatter or anything, except Fjasbok, as I call Facebook.

Neither is my ex, or anyone I know.

Well one friend is on twatter, hmm, better call her...

 

Maybe I am just like Deckard in Blade runner,

all of this is just someone else's memory...?

 

And me and ex reconnecting last Sunday is just another forum members memory...

 

Oh God, someone has left an origami unicorn outside my front door!

 

From Blade runner:

{Deckard/thora-tiki finds a small tin-foil unicorn, a calling card left by his/her origami-making partner Gaff.}

 

You writing her à la deep throat:

«I'll say you wanna be careful what you write on twitter when you're in a relationship with someone.»

 

Is just crazy.

No, this is what you do: leave a note on page 5 in the newspaper she gets in the morning, telling her to put a wine glass in the window,

so that you know it will be safe to contact her...

 

You are basing all of this craziness on:

«She said in her dumping e-mail to me that she doesn't see herself with a future with me. I want to tell her I was prepared to marry and have kids with her and she's throwing it all away.»

 

I got to hand it to her, she is very original.

So are you.

I am being sarcastic.

 

My ex said the same thing, only a little harsher,

and face-to-face. Bahaha!

Ah, memories...

 

You think you are over the ex, and then you say you love her still.

 

My head is spinning.

 

Unless you really wasn't in love with your ex for 8 years (impressive - sigh),

you are in for a rude awakening.

 

Two weeks is not enough time to figure out if you want or don't want her back.

 

You are under the illusion that you are back in control.

You need to back off her.

 

No amount of e-mails about your willie -send those to me, asap.

How she hurt you, or didn't hurt you - I can't seem to get if you are hurt or not.

No amount of practising the little tricks that only work when two people are on the same page,

will change the fact that you two are broken up.

 

It may just be you really didn't love her and was thrown by the rejection for a while.

 

I don't know.

But you better be sure before «cutting her off» with being this crazy.

 

This roller coaster is a fu*ked up ride.

Just look at this fu*king thread.

Look at me writing on this fu*king thread.

 

I don't wish this pain on anyone.

 

I truly hope you are honest with yourself.

 

No, don't e-mail her anything.

 

Best thing you can do is delete her number, e-mail address, phone number - but you kids probably don't use those old fashion stuff anymore - stop stalking her twatter, Fjasbok, etc.

 

We will probably never know how she is really feeling.

 

They still don't know who shot Olof Palme.

 

I agree with my fellow no contact warriors.

 

No contact is the only way.

 

If you want to reconnect in the future, do not act this crazy.

 

Do the opposite: focus on you.

Like someone here said: working out, spend time with friends, discover a new hobby...

In other words: evolve.

 

So that the next time she sees you, if she ever looks up from fu*king twatter, she'll wonder why you look so not bothered, so different, and she'll want it bad.

And then she can post your reconnect picture by picture on twatter, and I hope you have sex on twatter,

and I hop you get married on twatter,

and you have sex again on twatter,

and that she gives birth on twatter,

and then we can follow your kids on twatter, and...

 

Oh, no, I don't have twatter - or twitter. Fuuuuu*ck.

 

Other than that the best thing to do is participate in our forum and support other members.

 

Our forum is a two-way street, you have to give to get - make sense?

 

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and help out some of the other members for a change, OK?

 

Good luck.

[organizedchaos]

^^^best post ever.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

thora-tiki that post was seriously awesome, made me laugh, thanks! Yeah I'm gonna stick around here and help out, least I can do. Really missing her tonight though, I went on ocupid for a laugh and when I was doing the match quiz I really realized how perfect my ex and I were for each other.

 

Do you think it's okay to send her an e-mail in a couple days, because she said I could e-mail her once a week and she'll reply.

 

The thing is, it's not like I was my normal self and she just got bored of me. I was just distant and not communicating properly. She wasn't on my skype either but used to be on my MSN all the time. If just asked her if she still wants to keep in contact, and add her on skype. Maybe she will change her mind, I'll just act myself but take it easy at first and she might fall in love with me again.

[Inspiteofrselves]

I am gonna go against the grain. Do you love this girl? Will you sacrifice to make things work? Have you learned your lesson? Good. Here's what you do.

 

Contact selflessly. Groveling is always selfish. You are trying to get her to do what you want. Celebrate her becoming more of the woman you love and treasure, and let her know what's going on In YOUR life. Something funny you saw, interesting you did, something to show you were thinking of her with no expectations. Do not see other people unless you know you don't want her anymore.

 

Good luck.

 

True love wins.