heard her voice finally :(

[Puma]

ok people need some insight here please. ok well i was already set that i was gonna call my ex for thanksgivin and make it quick jsut for that..to show taht i care, and all honesty, that im mature about it cause i think its important to wish well to those we love on such special given days either way...things are weird at my house still so i called up a friend and he told me to go over to his house to celebrate there which i did thankfully. around 9pm i called her and got her voicemail so i left a msg sayin "hey, its me. jsut callin to say happy thanksgivin, hope all is well, call me later and if ya dont it coo" so she calls right back shortly and we talk for a bit and she basically tells me that she didnt want to be rude since shes at her grandparents house and they eatin n stuff which i told her i understand..she said she jsut wanted to call back to say happy thankgivin too. she asked if i watched our fave soccer team game on tv. i told her no, and she said "did you get my text msg?" i told her no and tahts weird that i didnt. she said she sent it around 7pm two hours earlier. i got a lil happy at that cause she tried to contact me first without me knowin..so i felt i didnt really break the no contact completely i guess ya could say. either way, she asked how i was..and how things were at home. she said she better leve cause she doesnt want to be rude and i told her yeah i should to cause i had stepped out. the whoel tiem we talked though...she seemed down, kinda sad, very monotonous tone. i dont know waht to think of that?? any comments? i really felt liek since it was the first time we have talked since she broke up with me three weeks ago..taht she might have not called me before because she didnt want to hear my voice as to see what her reaction would be. either way..she seemed sad almost..i was honestly expecting ehr to be happy and kinda cold to me..instead it was the opposite. anyone can give me their opinions as to why she text me to remind me that our team was playin, and then when i called her why she seemed down? i know she wasnt tired...i could tell if she was, this was a different kinda tone ive never really heard..she was slow in talkin and her voice was soft. oh well hit up the replies please!!!! grazie

[thien_to]

Hi Puma, I don't know much about your situation but I would not read too much into it. If it is true that she tried contacting you before you called her that's a bit of a positive sign but once again I stress to not read into it. She would sound sad and soft because she is not at home so she must control her emotions. Secondly she IS sad. You cannot look past this phone call. Just take it as a good call and continue on. Like I said, I'm not sure what your situation is but what I know is that she is probably extremely confused, sad and lonely through the holidays. You just need to be strong and respect her wishes.

[Puma]

thanks..i could tell she was sad too, kinda threw me off, but in a good way i guess cause i didnt expect that she would be liek that with me since i havnet really heard from her since the break up. im sure if ya knew my situation ya could help out a lil more cause you have more info so here it is :

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t51686/

[thien_to]

OK now I know the whole story. I'm not claiming to know the best thing to do. I'm all messed up myself but maybe we can stumble through this together and provide eachother strength. What I need to do and you need to too is come to terms with reality. You must let go. I keep thinking to myself that the only way i can prove that I love her with my whole being is to respect and abide by her wishes. Brother, it is soooo hard to not call, show up, want one last talk, one last hug but you must realize that you are doing this for the love you have for her. She sounds like she is very confused and truly does need space to think. I don't want to give you false hope. I gave my ex space and she just recently called me to say she wants to close this chapter in her life and move on. The mixed messages really suck because you get so much hope. You must understand that she is very confused. She will second guess her decision at times. She is scared she made the wrong decision. It is so hard, I know, but you must leave her alone. Let her contact you. I'm desperatly fighting with myself every minute of the day and I haven't broken and called her yet. I know you can too.

[Puma]

i know what ya mean and feelin, glad ya can help and im here for ya too man! she is def confused and needs her space and ive been givin it to her with the exception of last night to call to wish her well on thankgivin which i felt was only right and nice gesture. i know how it is to have that desire to call and be liek "hey whats up hows it goin??!" but we cant do that if we want to help ourselves out right? yes i agree with everythin you said..we have to let them get what they asked for, cause if we do otherwise..its just more confusion to them and more reason for them to push us away. i still have hope as that will never go..im just that strong of a faithful person. will i move on? yes i am already..ive been on the dating seen thus far..not to get anythin out of it or start a new relationship cause thats not what im lookin for. im just doin it to help myself out with coping with my situation and also to have female company.aint nothin wrong with taht. im sure they are confused and even though your ex said she wants to close that chapter in her life...trust me its never closed!!! jsut last night i talked to another ex..and she was eager to meet up and invited me over to her house if i had nowhere to go, but i went to my bros house. its just weird..but i guess im proof of that also..ya can always rekindle feelings if they were there before. in this case its a lil diff however, cause i actually loved my recent ex..of course makin it that much more difficult. but let me know if i can help ya out with anythin too..id be more than willing

[thien_to]

I've been going through this break up for over 6 months now. Supposed to be married in July but I called it off because i was not faithful to her. We went to therapy together where I said some extremely stupid and hurtful things to her. I refused to grow and change. She then decided to move out of our home we bought together. That is the shock I needed to accept that I needed to change and grow emotionally. It has been extremely hard this past week becuase only on Sunday did she say that she does not want a relationship with me. She wants this over and move on. She is looking at moving to a different city. We are both 28 and unfortunatly, it took all of this to make me realize what we had. I have changed and grown and I am still not done yet. I know I can be the man she deserves.

 

I have no desire to date anyone. I have alot of guilt that I thought I dealt with but they have resurfaced since my ex gave her 'final' answer. I just have a very hard time letting go. I still have hope but I am scared it is false hope. I know the best thing for me is to accept reality and not have hope. It is so hard. Feel free to PM me and maybe we can exchange e-mails. You seem to be pretty balanced and in control. I admire that you still have such clarity of thought throughout all this stress. What are your tricks?

[RappinShoe]

hey guys i hope you dont mind me butting into this discussion but I just kind of felt like Im in the same boat. Im a lot younger than you two I think but already been in a serious relationship and I also have been trying to get over my ex for about 6 months. Just wanted to know your opinions on my story:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t52163/?goto=newpost

 

Hope you can help. I alsop hope happiness for you both. Sounds like you both have more hope than I in your relationships. Cheers