Odd not to talk/text every day

[heartoutside]

I have a quick question. I've been in a what I guess you can call a LDR for about 4 months, we also used to casually date when she lived in the same city. But when she moved, we decided to not to keep it exclusive. Then about 4 months ago, we got exclusive. She told me that she missed me terribly, etc etc.

 

Anyway, she works a super stressful job, 70-80 hours a week. So there are stretches where I won't hear from her unless I reach out, either via text or call. But then there are times where she'll text non-stop (basically when she's not working) or exhausted from work.

 

But recently, she's kind of just dropped off the face of the earth. She was in town last weekend for her high school reunion and spent the night friday. Things got a little heavy at times, and we fooled around, but I didn't sleep with her. She didn't seem comfortable with the idea just yet, and I'm not going to force the idea. But leading up to us seeing each other for the first time in a long time she kept saying she couldn't wait to "jump my bones" more or less..but when the time came, she seemed very bashful and timid.

 

As for the rest of the weekend, she spent it family and friends she hasn't seen in months. But after spending the night, I didn't hear a word from her. I texted her on sunday eve saying have a safe flight, and she wrote back that she left that morning and was still hungover. We exchanged a few casual texts and that was it.

 

The next day, I sent her another causal text and she replied a day later.

 

So, I'm a little concerned i guess, but not sure if it's for nothing. I'm worried that maybe not being more aggressive on friday disappointed her, or she's rethinking the whole thing. Or maybe she's just super swamped with work (she did just work 11 days straight just before coming back home).

 

Thoughts? Give her space? Is not talking every day odd?

 

thanks

[CherryT]

If you're in an exclusive long distance relationship for 4 months, I don't see why she would need space. I mean, you are LD... It sounds as though her feelings may be starting to fade. My fiance and I work ridiculous hours some weeks, but we always make time to connect throughout the day. No matter how busy or tired, we never fail in saying good morning and good night. Even with busy days, it doesn't take long to just send a message saying hello. So the fact that you are the one who usually initiates is telling of her feelings.

 

LDR can't really develop without communication and trust. Without that, there really isn't much else. I'd talk to her because if you're her boyfriend, you shouldn't be afraid to ask her what's up or if somethings bothering her.

[soccerrprp]

Was she this way before dating? She is busy. I'm in a LDR and know my gf well. She simply is not the most communicative person. It's not unusual for a day to pass w/o hearing from her and she works a stressful job as well.

 

I'm used to it though. We do make it a point to talk 2-3x per week, but constant communication is not necessary.

 

Call her.

[heartoutside]

Well maybe "space" was the wrong word. It's not like I would be smothering her if I called or texted. She's always been like this and has told me before she isn't the kind of person who will call or text every day. So I'm not surprised by it. I think I'm more concerned about friday night and not being aggressive enough. Or maybe it's just a horrible combination of things, and I'm totally over reacting and over thinking it (which wouldn't be a first ).

[tomkat]

Sounds to me she's checked out. Time to get out and start fresh

[heartoutside]

Agreed. I gave her a phone call the other night, gave my side. So at least I can know in my mind it wasn't due to my lack of trying.