What Should I Think?

[brittneyfoster]

The same married guy that I previously posted about fell off the face of the Earth on Monday morning. I won't say that I am TOO worried but maybe just a tad bit.

 

We first met about a month ago, and kind of kicked up the notch on our friendship about two weeks ago. We've been out on a few lunch dates together, he's been to my home, and we talk/text every day. He called me on Friday, and he told me that he was going out of town for work this week as he is in the military. I responded, and said "Okay". He said "You're not used to men who actually have to work huh?" and I said "No, I'm used to dating soldiers who lie to me about having to go away for work truthfully." and he was like "Well, I don't have to do all of that. I will send pics if you want me too" and I replied "Sure, you can do that if you want." and he says, "Even better, I'll post them on Instagram". I told "That's cool. You can send them to me too." and I laughed. He laughed and responded, "Don't be selfish. Let me share the pictures with the world too." and I said "Sounds good to me!"

 

We texted a couple more times that night, and we spoke on Saturday for his daughter's birthday party. I texted him on Sunday to wish him a very happy birthday, and he said "thanks. how are you? how;s your day?" and the whole 9. I asked him when he was leaving again, and he said "Tuesday morning" and I responded back with, "Oh. Okay. : / " I texted him good night, and we briefly spoke. Finally, i woke up early on Monday morning and told him to have a great day at work and he wanted to know why I was up so early. I told him that I didn't know. He said "Oh okay. Well, I have to go. Be back". I didn't hear from him all day so I texted him Monday night and said, "Safe travels". I have not heard anything from him since then. I haven't seen him on Facebook, and his last login on What's App was Monday at 5:00 am.

 

I'm not really sure what to think. Any thoughts? Don't want to keep reaching out like a crazed psycho. I'm sure he's fine though.

[ExpatInItaly]

The same married guy that I previously posted about fell off the face of the Earth on Monday morning. I won't say that I am TOO worried but maybe just a tad bit.

 

We first met about a month ago, and kind of kicked up the notch on our friendship about two weeks ago. We've been out on a few lunch dates together, he's been to my home, and we talk/text every day. He called me on Friday, and he told me that he was going out of town for work this week as he is in the military. I responded, and said "Okay". He said "You're not used to men who actually have to work huh?" and I said "No, I'm used to dating soldiers who lie to me about having to go away for work truthfully." and he was like "Well, I don't have to do all of that. I will send pics if you want me too" and I replied "Sure, you can do that if you want." and he says, "Even better, I'll post them on Instagram". I told "That's cool. You can send them to me too." and I laughed. He laughed and responded, "Don't be selfish. Let me share the pictures with the world too." and I said "Sounds good to me!"

 

We texted a couple more times that night, and we spoke on Saturday for his daughter's birthday party. I texted him on Sunday to wish him a very happy birthday, and he said "thanks. how are you? how;s your day?" and the whole 9. I asked him when he was leaving again, and he said "Tuesday morning" and I responded back with, "Oh. Okay. : / " I texted him good night, and we briefly spoke. Finally, i woke up early on Monday morning and told him to have a great day at work and he wanted to know why I was up so early. I told him that I didn't know. He said "Oh okay. Well, I have to go. Be back". I didn't hear from him all day so I texted him Monday night and said, "Safe travels". I have not heard anything from him since then. I haven't seen him on Facebook, and his last login on What's App was Monday at 5:00 am.

 

I'm not really sure what to think. Any thoughts? Don't want to keep reaching out like a crazed psycho. I'm sure he's fine though.

 

Perhaps he's spending time with another woman...say, for example, his wife?!

 

I haven't read your other thread(s). So what the hell are you doing with a married man? And no big surprise he's not communicating regularly....

[ExpatInItaly]

Ok, back the truck up... I just read your other thread. You said in that thread that you were afraid to ask him about his marital status. So you have found out since then that is indeed married? Or is this a different guy?

[brittneyfoster]

Ok, back the truck up... I just read your other thread. You said in that thread that you were afraid to ask him about his marital status. So you have found out since then that is indeed married? Or is this a different guy?

 

He was indeed married as noted on his Facebook page, but what his status is currently? I honestly don't know as I have not asked him.He has not told me at all that he was ever married.

[brittneyfoster]

Here's today's interaction: "Hey!!! Hope you're okay. I know you're busy on your trop. Hope it's going well!!"

 

Him: Thanks..Message you in a bit.

 

Me: Ok

 

Him: What are you doing?

 

Me: Driving into NYC. How are you?

 

Him: Im good. Why are you driving there? You're always on the go.

 

Me: Good. I was wondering if you were alright since I hadn't heard from you.

 

Him: Oh ok. Yeah, I was down. My grandmom had a heart attack yesterday. But is recovering well.

 

Me: Oh ok. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope she continues to get better. Phone is dying. Sorry about your grandmother again. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

 

Him: Okay.

 

My close friends are saying that he doesn't get a pass for not contacting me in about a day or so because of that.

[clia]

Why are you so afraid to ask him whether or not he's married?

 

I find that...bizarre.

 

Aside from that, and to answer the current question, you've only been dating him a few weeks. I don't think he's under any obligation to be contacting you every single day, especially when he is out of town for work and is likely very busy. You aren't exclusive, you aren't in a relationship, and he isn't your boyfriend. So, he gets a pass from me on not contacting you for an entire day. Just take a step back, go shopping or to the gym or out with your friends and stop counting the hours from when you last heard from him.

[coolheadal]

He's married! So why are you bothering with this guy for. You need to ask or find out if he's still married. Nonsense to sit there and worry and don't know who you really are text too. Might be time for you to move on and find a guy who's there for you and is not married.

[brittneyfoster]

Why are you so afraid to ask him whether or not he's married?

 

I find that...bizarre.

 

Aside from that, and to answer the current question, you've only been dating him a few weeks. I don't think he's under any obligation to be contacting you every single day, especially when he is out of town for work and is likely very busy. You aren't exclusive, you aren't in a relationship, and he isn't your boyfriend. So, he gets a pass from me on not contacting you for an entire day. Just take a step back, go shopping or to the gym or out with your friends and stop counting the hours from when you last heard from him.

 

LOL. Don't judge me. As I said before, I truly took for granted the simplicity that if he is pursuing me for dates then he should be single, but it's a conversation that I would rather have face to face than over the phone or through texting.

 

I mean to some degree I completely agree, but I guess it's kinda blah when I've started to get used to him texting and calling every day for the last couple of weeks. We only talked sporadically before we went out on our few dates, and I was fine with that. I think the more I like him...the more I look forward to talking to him. Plus its been a long time since I liked someone. No biggie though. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

[brittneyfoster]

He's married! So why are you bothering with this guy for. You need to ask or find out if he's still married. Nonsense to sit there and worry and don't know who you really are text too. Might be time for you to move on and find a guy who's there for you and is not married.

 

Thank you! Agreed. Like I said before, he hasn't shared with me that he was married but maybe because I never asked. However, I do want to know his current status. I can't go off just Facebook...there are no pics of her and his status says single and interested in women...but I have to find out from HIM...the direct source.

[ExpatInItaly]

Thank you! Agreed. Like I said before, he hasn't shared with me that he was married but maybe because I never asked. However, I do want to know his current status. I can't go off just Facebook...there are no pics of her and his status says single and interested in women...but I have to find out from HIM...the direct source.

 

I'm still confused. His FB page notes he was married, but there's no current status? I'm not sure which is accurate.

 

You need to just ask him. "Hey, your FB profile says you were married. Are you still?" You have every right to ask him this

[coolheadal]

Thank you! Agreed. Like I said before, he hasn't shared with me that he was married but maybe because I never asked. However, I do want to know his current status. I can't go off just Facebook...there are no pics of her and his status says single and interested in women...but I have to find out from HIM...the direct source.

 

Correct! FB really can't go by that. Best to ask directly if you can. Look at his eyes and forehead. You should not see anything thing to give you the sense he's not telling you the truth. If he does avoid your question. Then say" Well, I have something more important to do than to be lied too.

 

Just play it safe, guys like this like things like this. Makes you wonder why they do it but in all you just have to get the answers from the source.

[brittneyfoster]

Correct! FB really can't go by that. Best to ask directly if you can. Look at his eyes and forehead. You should not see anything thing to give you the sense he's not telling you the truth. If he does avoid your question. Then say" Well, I have something more important to do than to be lied too.

 

Just play it safe, guys like this like things like this. Makes you wonder why they do it but in all you just have to get the answers from the source.

 

Sounds fair enough and a legit plan to me. Let's see what happens when he returns if he wants to go out agin.

 

And to the previous poster...his status is single and interested in women. There are some old pics from 2011 that show her wearing a ring. People left comments saying "Congrats to you and the new MRS." Thats it.

[nescafe1982]

Sounds like it's high time to ask him what his marital status is.

 

Actually, the best time was when you first started talking to him. But now's as good as time as any. You need to know... because if he is married, you don't want to waste more of your time.... right?

[bentleychic]

Yup, ask now. The sooner, the better. TRUST ME.

[georgia girl]

Here's today's interaction: "Hey!!! Hope you're okay. I know you're busy on your trop. Hope it's going well!!"

 

Him: Thanks..Message you in a bit.

 

Me: Ok

 

Him: What are you doing?

 

Me: Driving into NYC. How are you?

 

Him: Im good. Why are you driving there? You're always on the go.

 

Me: Good. I was wondering if you were alright since I hadn't heard from you.

 

Him: Oh ok. Yeah, I was down. My grandmom had a heart attack yesterday. But is recovering well.

 

Me: Oh ok. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope she continues to get better. Phone is dying. Sorry about your grandmother again. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.

 

Him: Okay.

 

My close friends are saying that he doesn't get a pass for not contacting me in about a day or so because of that.

 

 

On top of everything else everyone else has said, this interaction concerns me. You come across pretty needy and a little aggressive. I would be scared off if someone I was dating for less than a month acted like this. Way too attached too soon.

[yellowmaverick]

If you do ask him, you should not just take his word if he says he is not married. Do your own investigating. And remember, "getting a divorce" is still married. Like BC said, sooner is better.