serenyti Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 I'm not sure if i'm right here, but i just gonna ask for your opinions how to handle the situation. My best friend, went home with a guy like 2 months ago. They've known each other already for quite a while then. He wanted to have sex with her that night, but she rejected him, because she had her period, which she told him so. So he asked for her number, which she gave him and he said he would give her a call soon. So 2 weeks past and no call from him. She organized his number and texted him, he didn't respond. So she got really mad, i know her for years and as a fact that she actually doesn't get rejected, she can handle rejection poorly. So she was furious, what the guy thought who he would be for rejecting her and all this and she said, well there is always a next time. S i figured next time she would meet him , she just would slap him or sth like that. Last Saturday night, they met per coincidence on a party. I was there too. So he started talking to her immediately and she was smiling and seemed happy so i thought they'd figured it out when she told me, she would leave with him. I didn't know she had kinda revenge plan for him. So they went to his place, started to making out and when it got really hot and intense, she stopped, said to him what a douche he was for not calling her when he should,nobody would do that to her etc and how he could expected to get to bang her. So she wanted to grab her stuff and leave immediately...it didn't come to that sadly...he grabbed her, yelled at her what a bitch she is, hit her in the face and he raped her. She told me on monday, when i saw her face. She didnt go to police or to a doctor, neither did she tell anyone else. I want her to go to the police, but she refuses, saying nobody would believe her and it would be too late. What could i do to convince her? And should i confront him? I actually think it was on impulse, so maybe i could get him to go to the police himself...i really dont know what to do, i just want to help her Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Well, if this story is legit, I am very sorry for what happened to your friend. Well, if she didn't think anyone was going to believe her, it will be even more difficult now. Has she bathed? Wash the clothes, underwear she was wear at the time? Does she have bruises, other indications that this guy forced himself on her? The more time wasted, the more difficult to show that anything happened. On impulse? So? He raped her and doesn't matter under what circumstances. He's not going to volunteer to go to the police for rape. You should convince your friend to do make the move to the police. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 (edited) If it is true and not part of her "revenge" plan then that is truly horrible nothing makes rape ok under any circumstance. If she wants anything done she needs to report it as soon as possible and see a doctor. The longer she leaves it the less evidence there will be. Then it becomes a his vs her word battle and they don't tend to end very well if that is the only evidence. Edited September 26, 2013 by Carenth Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 B...............S............... Your friend is a total dumb ass "im going to go to a guys place and get him worked up and then go cold on him" RIGHT! She's full of **** and she knows it "im a girl and I screwed up but im going to pull the victim card" she put herself in that situation... its why she wont go to the police or a doctors office Link to post Share on other sites
Author serenyti Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 Thanks for your answers so far. The story is legit, i saw her face and she has bruises on her legs as well as she is psychologically down. Of course she showered afterwards, so i dont think there will be any DNS left. But she said she scratched him in his face...i dont know what to tell her...should i maybe call the police myself so she is kinda forced to say sth about it?! Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Thanks for your answers so far. The story is legit, i saw her face and she has bruises on her legs as well as she is psychologically down. Of course she showered afterwards, so i dont think there will be any DNS left. But she said she scratched him in his face...i dont know what to tell her...should i maybe call the police myself so she is kinda forced to say sth about it?! OP, this is your business. This is in regards to your friend. BUT, it's not for you to make the move to contact the police. It's up to her. Talk to her, but a lot of evidence has already been lost. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 what kinda guy are you?! as others say, there is NEVER an excuse for rape, but good for you outing yourself here, that you would act the same way. congrats for being a total LL and now please, do not ''answer'' anything more on this thread. Whatever, she put herself in that position.... The sad part is, I see a lot of girls that would pull this type of "Im a super princess and I cant believe this guy rejected me so I am going to do something because Im better then he is" There's no case... game over... lesson learned... move on Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 (edited) Nope, its none of your business Think about it logically... Guy said he would call me but didnt... so after weeks she went to his place to pretend to have sex with him but pull away at last second to get revenge on him (really?) I felt a little like this too. The 'got what she deserved' knee-jerk reaction. But that lasted about a second. The girl sounds trashy and spiteful - not a nice person at all, but no one deserves to be raped. Stop means stop. A decent man would stop no matter how heated the moment or how vile the girl. Edited September 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Shes a crazy hot bitch... anybody that wants to learn game on how to sleep with those type of girls... read this thread again Ask her for her number.... never call.... weeks later they will insert themselves somehow into your lives.... go home with you.... and throw themselves on your genitalia and then to save face come up with a story like this. Then paint the guy black saying it was all his fault to get sympathy from her friends and others Why you shouldnt give these type of women the time of day but the 5 minutes of fun could be almost worth it Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 I felt a little like this too. The 'got what she deserved' knee-jerk reaction. But that lasted about a second. The girl sounds trashy and spiteful - not a nice person at all, but no one deserves to be raped. Stop means stop. A decent man would stop no matter how heated the moment or how vile the girl. The girl is total trash and very spiteful. Just amazing, if this story is true, that she would go to these lengths to enact "revenge" because she felt snubbed by a guy. Still, you don't rape a girl. You call her out for being a trash bag and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
MalachiX Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Why did she shower? Did she scratch him during the act? There may be DNA under he fingers. Since you believe her, you should try to document whatever you can and get her to the police. If this is true, it's just sad. There's never ANY excuse for rape but trying do this revenge thing is both bad and dangerous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author serenyti Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 she still has her panties from that night, there might sth on it, as he didn't use a condom and she put it back on when she left. maybe i should just get her in the car and drive her to the police...do you think it would help if someone else close to her knew about it and would support her on that as well? Link to post Share on other sites
MalachiX Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 she still has her panties from that night, there might sth on it, as he didn't use a condom and she put it back on when she left. maybe i should just get her in the car and drive her to the police...do you think it would help if someone else close to her knew about it and would support her on that as well? It depends on what you mean by support. You can support her by getting her to go to the police and driving her. You can't really support her in her case though because you were not there when the incident occurred and thus you can't say what happened. I suppose you could give a statement saying you saw bruises the next day but that's a large gap of time between when she was with him and when she saw you. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Sadly from the sounds of things I don't think there is a huge amount that can be done other than filing a report with the police. Pretty much any evidence has been lost it seems. As I said before if it comes down to a pissing match between he said vs she said that probably won't turn out well at all. What she did was incredibly stupid, dangerous and spiteful almost beyond belief. That doesn't mean she deserved to raped though. No one deserves that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 The story sounds a little ... fishy to me . Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Stories about people's friends and their issues usually do. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Well...for her to get that upset for rejection is ridiculous. Everyone get's rejected from time to time. HOWEVER, what happened to her is inexcusible. She needs to report this dirt bag or it will happen again. Please, please, don't let this happen to another person by keeping it quiet. It WILL happen to someone else if you guys don't do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Whatever, she put herself in that position.... The sad part is, I see a lot of girls that would pull this type of "Im a super princess and I cant believe this guy rejected me so I am going to do something because Im better then he is" There's no case... game over... lesson learned... move on So just to narrow it down to the core concept here, you believe that physical violence and rape was a justified response to this sad, trashy stunt? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Yeah, not a good revenge plan but man the men here responding its her fault she got raped are nuts and sad... Angry, angry bad men. Bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 While a certain male poster's remarks are not what most men think, i certainly can't see the OP's friend as an innocent little snowflake. She went out of her way to manipulate this guy, and put herself in this situation with a guy she hardly knew. Do i believe that she 'had it coming' ? Hell no, no-one deserves to be raped. The rape itself is fully on him, it's his fault, his act, and he should pay for it. But there is no denying that she put herself in that situation, and i think the shame she feels regarding what she did is what motivated her to not go to the police. I hope she [and others reading this, male and female] learns from this. PS: I tried to put myself in his situation, knowing what i know about false rape allegations and what they can do. I honestly would have apologized, conducted some talk via SMS [mentioning nothing happened that night to have written proof of it], and then dumped her and warned others. When a girl goes through all this trouble, i am very afraid for my future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author serenyti Posted September 27, 2013 Author Share Posted September 27, 2013 thank you guys, you've been so supportive. The fact that he's gonna do that to other women too, convinced her in the end and i went with her to the police. As she had still her panties unwashed, they took them as evidence and he has been arrested. we'll see how this goes on now... she's kinda relieved but fears what happens if he comes out. The detective said, there might be a chance that he has done it already once, because what drove him over the edge was so little. she knows what she did was somehow stupid...next step would be a a therapy...but she isn't up for this yet. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 thank you guys, you've been so supportive. The fact that he's gonna do that to other women too, convinced her in the end and i went with her to the police. As she had still her panties unwashed, they took them as evidence and he has been arrested. we'll see how this goes on now... she's kinda relieved but fears what happens if he comes out. The detective said, there might be a chance that he has done it already once, because what drove him over the edge was so little. she knows what she did was somehow stupid...next step would be a a therapy...but she isn't up for this yet. They arrested him without even doing any sort of investigation into the truth of her assertions, when she shows up two days later and accuses him of rape? Really? Am I the only one who finds that really scary? Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) So just to narrow it down to the core concept here, you believe that physical violence and rape was a justified response to this sad, trashy stunt? I think the poster doesn't believe there was a rape. And I don't know how this really works with the arrest. They arrest him, he pays bail, then they do the case? I know a guy that smacked his ex around in front of their baby. She called the cops, they found him a few weeks later and arrested him. He is out on bail until the trial. Maybe it's the same thing? I dunno..... Edited September 27, 2013 by crederer Link to post Share on other sites
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