Friendships and mixed signals?

[Kazeke]

Hello! I'm 21 and I've never been in a relationship. I had a few guy friends in high school but I'm usually very shy and just tend to avoid people. About 5-6 months ago my friend introduced me into a group of friends they play with online. It's a multiplayer online battle arena game. Although I'm not the best in the group everyone still plays with me.

 

Anywho, one of the guys (we'll call him Sam) started talking to me right away and private messaging me. I feel like we've really gotten to know each other some (we play together almost every night). However, my concern is that he flirts with me a lot although he has a girlfriend offline.

 

The second guy (we'll call him John) never really played with me much unless my friend was playing. Recently though (maybe 1-2 months) he's been playing the game with me more and I feel like he's always been nice to me and tolerating me playing. Very recently though he's been calling me "babe", "baby", "miss", "m'dear", etc. when he never did before.

He'll also say things like:

"It's always a pleasure to play with you."

"We'll make a date of it." (I challenged him to a sport.)

"I'll just be happy to spend time with you." (Told him I'd win.)

"That only works when you're dating the person. Not two independent people. Get to dating, then we'll talk." (He'd win online but not offline.)

 

Well, here's where they both come into play.

The other day before John logged on, I was playing with Sam. When Sam and I got out of our game, we both went AFK for a bit - meanwhile John was in another game. When John got out of his game I got a question asking if Sam wanted no part of me anymore because I wasn't playing the game with him (we usually play games back to back for hours). Sam had invited me to a game and had waited on me while I was AFK so he went a head and started it. It really threw me off because John's never said anything like before to me. Just the night before he was calling me babe, baby, m'dear, miss, etc. and we had a really nice conversation. John ended up inviting me to a game but he wasn't as talkative as he was the night and seemed a bit standoffish. I don't know them offline (and as far as I know they've never met) so there's nothing that I know of that could have happened to start the reaction he gave. Any ideas? Sam also ended up just logging off without a word when I was in a game with John which is also very unusual. I feel like I've missed something there?

 

A few days later the three of us are online at the same time again. I was AFK and Sam got on and messaged me. While I was still AFK, John also got on and messaged me. When I got on I saw they were both in games (literally a minute apart). I messaged them while they were both in game and got a "hey lover" response from Sam which really threw me off. I wasn't sure how to respond so I just greeted him. John ended up not saying a word (very unusual). They got into a game together after that and I guess Sam quit the game. John ended up later inviting me to a game. Minutes later, Sam got back on and messaged me upset that I was in the game. While I was playing with John he still never really talked to me much. It seems like he gets like this when Sam is around? After a few games, he ended up logging off without a word and Sam never really messaged me again and also logged.

 

Now here's how I feel. I really like Sam as my friend. I don't look at him much more past that (maybe a brother) because I know he's in a relationship. On the other hand, I really like John. I just don't understand why one day he talks to me the next he's standoffish, and then it all repeats. However, I'm afraid to tell him. I'm not sure how he would respond and if he rejected me I feel like our friendship would be very awkward to me then. So my head has been spinning, I'm confused, and I don't know if I'm overreacting. Any thoughts, advice, insights, etc. are greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[Philosoraptor]

Separate fantasy from reality here. These are guys, online, in a video game.

 

Just play the game to enjoy the game, and allow yourself to find relationships in the real world.

[Polak]

Agreed with Philosoraptor. Online, hidden behind a computer screen, those guys can say whatever they want and sound nice. But in real life, they most likely are not that clever and straightforward.

 

Don't try to get involved in a real-life relationship with a foundation of an online video game...