Joshuascott Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Little back story, I got to my unit about 7 months ago. I met this girl and instantly just fell for her. But I never really saw her much so I just put her in the back of my mind. About a month ago, idk how it started, but we started talking and became so close so quick. Hanging out everyday; all that good stuff. When her boyfriend left for Afghanistan she became very clingy to me. I'm assuming for the emotional support. I refuse to be a home wrecker. I'd never get in between someone and their relationship. So one night I told her id dd for her for a party in our unit. Everybody knows everybody and were all very comfortable around each other so she didn't think her boyfriend would really care considering he's friends with all these guys. Plus she never goes out. Her boyfriend damn near lost his mind and broke up with her for a few days. He broke up with this girl from Afghanistan! I started to realize what kind of a guy he was. Very controlling and has double standards. Why I'm writing all this is because after that night, shes became too friendly, if you know what I mean. We cuddle and she'll bite my chest, bite my neck, kiss my neck and all this ****. It's killer because I like this girl but I will not be the one that ends her relationship. One night she was drunk and drunk texted me that she really likes me but will never break up with her boyfriend. I know she likes me. I just don't know what to do or how to act. I could very easily push things to the next level but I don't want to be that guy. She doesn't deserve to be with her boyfriend. I'm the guy she deserves to be with. I see it in her eyes. I'm the part of the day that just takes all the stress away and gives her time to get away from reality Any advice would be nice cause she's so confusing and my mind is in scrambles Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 You don't want to be that guy? You refuse to be a home wrecker? I got news for you. Your not following your own advice because your doing a pretty good job of being both. If she's involved with another guy and I don't give a damn if he's the nicest guy in the world or the second coming of Godzilla, until it's over with them, then you should back off and let it play out. If they break up then fine but until then, your only doing the other guy a great disservice. Ask yourself if you traded places with him, would you like some other guy doing what your doing? Wake up and re read your own thread and you won't need anyone telling you what to do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joshuascott Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 You don't want to be that guy? You refuse to be a home wrecker? I got news for you. Your not following your own advice because your doing a pretty good job of being both. If she's involved with another guy and I don't give a damn if he's the nicest guy in the world or the second coming of Godzilla, until it's over with them, then you should back off and let it play out. If they break up then fine but until then, your only doing the other guy a great disservice. Ask yourself if you traded places with him, would you like some other guy doing what your doing? Wake up and re read your own thread and you won't need anyone telling you what to do. The way I see it, if I'm treating a girl like garbage, I have no one to blame but myself. But what I was trying to get at is she's coming onto me more than I am to her. I agree I should step back and let it play out Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 This girl is poison. She's away from her controlling boyfriend for a few weeks so she immediately looks for a place holder. When her boyfriend comes back you will be out the door with the trash. Not to mention if her controlling boyfriend finds out about what's going on between you two, he might decide to take out some hurt on you. She may be the hottest thing you've had in a while, but there are a lot of other women out there and she is preventing you from finding them. Block her. Unfriend her. Move on, my friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I tend to agree with Bubbaganoosh... you mentioned cuddling with this girl and that's one of the many red flags. If she is still together with her army boyfriend, what are you doing being so close with her if you don't want to be "that guy" that comes in between their relationship? Take a step back and wait for things to take their course. And careful with it, you know she is pretty needy for emotional support. Link to post Share on other sites
jacksonvillae Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 So stop lying to yourself and move on. Don't hurt yourself like this for ever and ever. One, by doing so, you'll stunt your mental and emotional growth - you will keep convincing yourself that you should love only this one girl and you will push away everyone else out of your life Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Her intent is to be with her current boyfriend and not you. Lets put that on the table right now. Your intent is to be with her. But you see the clear picture now she's still loves the controlling boyfriend. You had filled a spot in her life when the boyfriend wasn't around for her. Now you have to say to yourself "IS THIS WHAT I WANT? No you don't want to be caught up this drama with her and her current boyfriend. Pull in your gut and get the heck away from her while you still can! Must think of THE NOW! Start a new intent and find someone who's single that loves you for you and no one else. Right now your in a negative situation a relationship that should never have happen. Not your fault she knew what she was doing. These things happen today more. Again pull yourself together and get your head on straight. Otherwise your end up hurting and for what it counts that's not where you want to be with this type of drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joshuascott Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 Her intent is to be with her current boyfriend and not you. Lets put that on the table right now. Your intent is to be with her. But you see the clear picture now she's still loves the controlling boyfriend. You had filled a spot in her life when the boyfriend wasn't around for her. Now you have to say to yourself "IS THIS WHAT I WANT? No you don't want to be caught up this drama with her and her current boyfriend. Pull in your gut and get the heck away from her while you still can! Must think of THE NOW! Start a new intent and find someone who's single that loves you for you and no one else. Right now your in a negative situation a relationship that should never have happen. Not your fault she knew what she was doing. These things happen today more. Again pull yourself together and get your head on straight. Otherwise your end up hurting and for what it counts that's not where you want to be with this type of drama. Thank you all for the support. It sucks cutting her out cause I was actually thinking things would change or something would. But at the end of the day I'm getting ****ed over and at the end of the day I'm the only one who matters 2 Link to post Share on other sites
yankees51988 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I would absolutely feel bad to fool around with a girl while her man was overseas serving in the military. If it was just some controlling boyfriend that you did not know personally, then I would say go for it, but since you say everyone is friends and since he is serving I would say to avoid hooking up with her. You can still hang out with her and stuff, that is not a problem, just try not to hook up with her lol. Maybe tell her to stop trying to hook up with you unless she is single. Different story if he wasn't overseas and you were not kind of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) She doesn't deserve to be with her boyfriend. I'm the guy she deserves to be with. I see it in her eyes. I'm the part of the day that just takes all the stress away and gives her time to get away from reality Any advice would be nice cause she's so confusing and my mind is in scrambles You're the new guy, that's all. You can take the place of her boyfriend and then eventually another guy will be the new guy. Her boyfriend doesn't deserve her. He deserves better. He's away in the sandbox while she is home biting on some other guys chest and he's the bad guy trying to be all controlling? Please, stop rationalizing excuses why you should **** her and not feel guilty. If you want an excuse, go with this one. She is a slut not to be trusted beyond being used as a slut. Sluts can be the nicest girl you've ever met, don't let niceness confuse you to the fact that a slut is a slut and will behave as a slut. Look at what she's doing with you even though she has a boyfriend. You think she'll behave differently with you when you go away for a while? Hey, there are good women out there, this is not one of them. Her boyfriend would be better off without her. This is not a girl deserving of trust. Edited October 4, 2013 by Imported 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joshuascott Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 You're the new guy, that's all. You can take the place of her boyfriend and then eventually another guy will be the new guy. Her boyfriend doesn't deserve her. He deserves better. He's away in the sandbox while she is home biting on some other guys chest and he's the bad guy trying to be all controlling? Please, stop rationalizing excuses why you should **** her and not feel guilty. If you want an excuse, go with this one. She is a slut not to be trusted beyond being used as a slut. Sluts can be the nicest girl you've ever met, don't let niceness confuse you to the fact that a slut is a slut and will behave as a slut. Look at what she's doing with you even though she has a boyfriend. You think she'll behave differently with you when you go away for a while? Hey, there are good women out there, this is not one of them. Her boyfriend would be better off without her. This is not a girl deserving of trust. So I told her that even tho I didn't like her boyfriend, she shouldn't be doing what she's doing. I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. What sucks tho is when I first got to the unit, I saw that girl and I told myself I was gonna be with that girl. Crazy enough it finally happens but it just isn't in the right circumstances. Whatever tho, world moves on and so will I. Plus I met this girl volunteering a few days ago and who knows what'll happen with that lol Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) Sounds like a typical military slut-wife pulling typical slut-antics. I used to see them all the time in the service, hell sometimes they'd show up on base preggo to see their man after a year-long deployment (if you are math impaired, IE you're in the Marines, that means he wasn't around to knock her up). Chicks like that will hang all over other guys when their man isn't around, talking about how horrible he is etc, then when he comes home she will run back to him, talk about how she loves him and will be faithful etc. Bang her if you want to or don't it doesn't really matter. I guarantee you that you aren't the first dude in your unit she's made out with and you won't be the last. Edited October 4, 2013 by hppr Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I saw that girl and I told myself I was gonna be with that girl. You got horny. It happens. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 The way I see it, if I'm treating a girl like garbage, I have no one to blame but myself. But what I was trying to get at is she's coming onto me more than I am to her. I agree I should step back and let it play out Two wrongs don't make a right. Maybe the guy is a pile of garbage, but all I'm asking is if you would like that to happen to you. I don't know if you have ever been on the short end of the stick in a relationship but believe me it hurts. Try to be a better man and you'll get your reward for it. Link to post Share on other sites
StrongLass Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 One night she was drunk and drunk texted me that she really likes me but will never break up with her boyfriend. That is the only part of what you typed that really matters as far as what you should do. She doesn't want to leave him (even if she should) and you want more. Moving on... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts