cat Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 So, I posted on Tuesday about how I told my xMM we couldn't talk or be friends because it was just too hard. I saw him again yesterday and besides a couple of long looks and saying "excuse me" when we were passing through a doorway at the same time, we didn't talk at all. Respectful distance. I came home from work yesterday feeling great about myself and my life... So, this morning, on the way to work (my main office, not the building where I would see him) I'm cruising down a pretty busy road when my car just stops. I'm thinking either out of gas or battery just died. Anyhow, the road has one of those center turn lanes so I"m able to get into that and get my hazards on. Car won't start. About two minutes later, my boss drives by. We decide to try getting more gas so we go get a gas can. We can't get it open! Picture two ladies in their 30s in the middle of a busy road (literally in the middle!) in heels and business clothes trying to pry a gas can open. She sends me back to her car to get some tool and when I turn around to come back GUESS WHO'S STANDING THERE. Yup. My MM. He had been driving by and recognized my car and stopped. He opens the gas can in one click and fills the tank for me. So, my boss leaves since everything's OK but he decides to stay until I get going... but my car won't start! So, he PUSHES MY CAR out of the road onto a side street, runs back across the road, gets his truck and comes over to give me a jump. We had made awkward conversation when all this was going on, especially because my boss was there, but even after she left. It was so obvious there was more to say, especially since I had seen him yesterday and we avoided each other. I was totally embarrassed. Who are the people you want to stop LESS than your boss and you XMM who you are trying to have NC with? I can't avoid him if I try! Come ON universe! Throw me a frickin bone here. I"m doing my part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BruisedBNBroken Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Wow girl, the universe is definitely testing you! The good news - you're passing with flying colors!! You're stronger than you think. Keep up the great work, the NC/LC as best you can. Not many people would have the willpower to handle the situation as well as you have. Keep up the great work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maidai Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 You are doing fab! Smile about it as hard as it is. Throw your arms up to the sky laugh and then get on with your day x Link to post Share on other sites
imfine Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Girl you've got this! You've been tested three times this week and passed with flying colors. Yeah, you rock 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cat Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 I don't feel like I did that well today. I was so awkward and I kind of apologized for not talking to him yesterday. Not exactly, but I felt bad since I had ignored him and then he was totally there and helped me out the next morning. I'm also very emotionally affected by this today. I just felt like there was unsaid stuff there, some energy, not sexual, more just sad and missing each other. I almost started to cry. But I didn't. And we left most of it unsaid. Link to post Share on other sites
whereamigoing Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 There will always be that feeling of stuff left unsaid. I think it stems from the idea that if we can just say the one perfect thing everything will be okay. But there is no perfect thing to say so we are left...searching. Eventually you do get past that feeling. Personally, if I were in the same situation my xMM would have stopped to, that's just the kind of guy he is. And it would have been awkward as hell so close to ending things. Awkwardness is expected when you have to force such a radical change in a relationship instead of allowing it to run its course. It had to be done for your reasons, but that doesn't make it easy. Don't feel bad for ignoring him when he helped you. He was doing it as much for himself as for you. A simple thank you is all that is required for the sake of politeness. Again, forcing that kind of detached politeness will feel weird because it's new. You will adjust and it will become more normal as time progresses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imfine Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Baby steps. So you fumbled a little by being awkward. You recovered the fumble and that's what really counts. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 Through the whole thing, all I could think was "you don't know how to open an effing gas can?" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts